Sister doesn't want me to have a baby so I can babysit for her!

[bangingmyheadagainstawall]

Just as the title says, I have 2 children and would love a third but my age and stupid contraception choice is working against me so I've been emotionally toing and froing between wanting one then talking myself out of it, lack of sleep again etc. Anyways at my grans today I mentioned it again hoping to get words of wisdom from her as she raised 11 kids and she said follow your heart and only you can decided etc etc then dropped on me Sister won't be happy as she's hoping you become her child minder when she gives birth. While I'm completely flattered by this I was also a bit miffed as sister knew I wanted another baby of my own and certainly wouldn't want the stress of child minding while I had a young baby myself, I mentioned it to her on the phone today and she said, you've got enough kids plus your old why would you put your body through it, you have one of each so no need to have anymore etc etc then confirmed she wants me to look after her baby so she can go straight back to work. Now I'm having a meltdown again thinking it's unfair of me bringing another one into the world, I maybe am too old, do I want to do all the baby stuff again etc...AIBU to think it's cheeky for her to assume I'd babysit and assume my baby making days were over at the grand age of 34 and a half?

I hadn't even had my first child at 34. She is way out of line.

She's just a kid. Tell her she's too young for hers!
Have a baby op if that's what you want. You definitely nowhere near too old.
Either way whether you have one or not do not even contemplate providing free full time childcare for her! She's decided to have a baby so her and her partner can look after the baby or pay someone to do it.

Explain yourself to NOBODY....

have your third baby... and tell her to get her own childminder x

Fuck that! Knock the free childminding for the cheeky mare on the head now!

"I am upset actually, I think you really over stepped the mark to be honest. Xx and I will decide what's right for our family. I am laughing at the irony of you thinking I shouldn't have another baby so dd doesn't feel pushed out but you think I should mind your baby, so what it's not ok to feel put out by a sibling but it is once your getting free childcare? Anyway, as I say we'll decide in time. I am flattered you think I'd make a good childminder, thank you, but I won't be childminding at all so you may want to think of plan b"

Why would you not tell her where to go?! I seriously don't get it!

I don't know if she doesn't want the limelight taking off her because her baby wouldn't be the last one if I got pregnant again or if she is just generally up her own arse and is thinking about no one other than herself

She's obviously both these things, to put it mildly.

I'd have serious concerns for her child as your sister doesn't sound mature enough or capable enough to take care of a child. It sounds like she views the baby/child as a cute little accessory and not a person who will need to actually be looked after.

sidesplitting No, no namechange, just thought this was yet another of the escapees . Could also call it Brass Neck Street!

Take your gran's advice!
Not clear if you and your sister had previously discussed you childminding. Otherwise, presuming is certainly BU. Anyway, what's to stop you looking after hers and yours if that's what you want. Childminders don't just have one child do they!

I was older than you when I had my first. Tell her to get bent.

my sister doesn't want me to have another because she hates having old parents now, she think anyone over 30 should be put out to pasture

Your sister needs to remove her head from her up her backside and take a look around. 34 is not old. When I gave birth to my first at 39 I was not the oldest person at my NCT class. There was only one 22year old the rest were 32+. Ds was born 2 years later at 41. My friend had her 3rd at 46.
None of our children think that we were too old to have children. Age has nothing to do with it.

Cheeky beggar expecting you to babysit.

Do what you want to do not what your sister wants. If you want to give birth at 35 or 45 then that is up to you. Her childcare arrangements are her responsibility. If she cant afford to go to back to work with out you providing low cost child care then that is her problem not yours

How utterly batshit crazy. You're too old to have another baby according to her, but ok to look after hers full time?

For Christ sake 😂 I was expecting you to be late forties not 34!!

Have another one, you won't regret it but I can guarantee you'll regret not having another

34 is not old!!! Your sister is extremely entitled expecting you to give free childcare.

There have been some fantastic threads recently where posters have thought they have to do something and backed up by everyone else they have been able to stand up for themselves. Yes it's caused problems, but the mnetter woth sippprt knows it's not her problem.

If you want a third baby, have one, if you don't, don't. But it has to be your (and you dh/p) choice not your silly little sister

Have you told her that you don't want to?

Definitely go with your heart on dc3, I had ds at 26, ds at 36 and dd at 41. If you want the babies then childcare is your responsibility. My mil used to help out with our eldest when PAID childminder was on hols and we PAID her the same rate as the childminder. Your kids your problem. Op if you want 6 more go for it. Good luck

My friends dad turned 60 when she was 13. she was worried if we knew how old her parents were we would take the piss, honestly, none of us cared in the slightest.

Id tell her kindly but firmly that's your problem not mine and that its not her choice to make about when you have a baby (id be saying 'sorry did but no you didn't ask me you just assumed I would and that's not fair is it ?! It's your responsibility to find childcare sis not mine. And its not your decision to make about the baby so please keep your opinions to yourself. as you're bordering on offensive. )

Go for it! If you are sure! Sounds to me like you're not finished having children yet?? And you are still very young!
However I wouldn't personally put childminding your sisters baby out of your mind, it would be a good source of income while you are at home with your baby as well...make sure you charge her the going rate!

Tell her to royally fuck off, I'm 43 and a few months ago considered a sperm donor to have a baby as my son is 17 and always wanted another child.
She's being incredibly selfish

OP you younger sister is extremely rude, selfish and totally self absorbed. Her child, her situation to sort out and to expect free child care - what planet is she from. Your are 34 I expected to you say 44 at least! I had my first at 32 and last dc at 39 and I do not consider myself old and neither do my dcs. You do what YOU and your partner want to do. If you decide to help your sister she needs to PAY you the going rate. You are not a chariety.

Not rt whole ft yet but I would say that if you are too old to have another baby, you are too old to look after hers! You can add that your dc shouldn't have to share your attention with a non sibling 😉

Tbh, I think she just sounds super self absorbed, in the way that very young people with limited life experience, can do. Everyone matures at different rates and she is a bit slow.
She will probably change as she gets older - when she is 34 she will not feel old. However, if you wait for her to catch up to you age wise, to realise that, then you likely will be too old. You will regret it forever if you miss out on a baby you really want, because you have given a silly little girl's ill formed opinion too much weight!

Fwiw I had my 4th at 34 and it's all good

Bloody cheeky bitch is your sister. I had my first at 34

I have read this hoping the op has come back and said to the sister I couldn't mind anyone else's children, wouldn't dream of it. And is pregnant. I'm 34 planning another 2 or 3, and I wouldn't be a childminder your sisters children in any scenario, it would be asking for trouble.

What do your parents think about all this, and do they know how your sister feels about them?

Remind her that she needs to be thankful that they actually did have another baby when they were 'too old' as otherwise she wouldn't exist!

I had my 1st at 34 and my 2nd at 40. You don't have the energy, but you have a lot more patience - and money, quite often.

Your sister is being ridiculous and selfish. And siblings can be great - my two adore each other. Nobody feels pushed aside.