To be angry about this 'non' wedding?

[Shufflebumnessie]

My sister announced last year that she was getting married and the wedding would take place in the US (where she's lived for 10 years). We declined the invite as it was too expensive, sister kicks up a fuss and my parents kindly offered to pay for our flights in order to keep the peace.
Fast forward to now & the wedding is taking place in a few weeks - flights/hotels/car hire/parking etc are all paid for and it's cost us a small fortune even without the flights. Once we arrive in the US we have an 8 hour drive from the airport to where they live as it's pretty remote, which will take us 2 days as we'll have DS (5) & DD (5 months) with us & need plenty of stops etc. We then have 5 nights in the area they live followed by a repeat of the 8 hour drive to get back to the airport.
After the initial reluctance we were actually looking forward to it, especially the wedding. A few days ago, whilst mooching on Facebook, I saw some photos that my sister had been tagged in....on her wedding day!!! It turns out that they decided to get married on a whim (although still managed to invite a few friends and the grooms parents - who live a couple of hours drive from them). They've now decided the 'event' in August is a casual family get-together!!! Originally we were told there was a pre- wedding dinner, now that's become take -out pizza in the back yard and the actual 'wedding' (apparently there will still be a ceremony of some sort) is taking place in the back yard and everyone is expected to contribute some sort of food. When questioned about all this she just pretty much shrugged it off and said it will be a good opportunity for the family to get together - the only other family going are my parents and we see them all the time!! We also see my sister on a semi-regular basis as she comes to the UK for business a few times a year.

So now we're travelling thousands of miles with a young baby to attend a 'non' wedding, which is costing us a lot of money, is a logistical nightmare and now we have to take our own bloody food!! Am I justified in being absolutely fuming? I really wish we'd just declined my parents offer to pay and stuck with original plan of not going. We looked into cancelling but would have lost way too much money. Sorry for the long post I just needed to rant!

Yanbu. I'd be pissed off as well.

That sounds ridiculous. I suppose you'll get to see your sister and parents together at least?

How selfish on her behalf! I would be fuming

I Don't think YABU about any of it actually. If you have a wedding in a different country to your relatives you cannot get pissy when they cannot come. Then to essentially force your hand and have you making what seems to me to be a ridiculous journey just to change plans anyway? Madness and incredibly selfish behaviour

Don't cancel but I'd forego the epic drive and stay somewhere near the airport you're going to and take it from there. Pisstakers. I'd be furious too.

Otherwise would your travel insurance cover the fact the wedding is no longer taking place? *wishful thinking8

That is dreadful. Your poor parents!

Who the duck gets married on a whim when they have a wedding planned and family travelling for it just a few months later???

I'd be telling her just how much this is costing you and your parents that as you're not local obviously you won't be bringing any food. I'd also be looking at spending less time with them and going off for a proper holiday.

*fuck 🤣

That's really inconsiderate of your sister!

As the flights are paid for anyway and you're not that bothered about seeing your sister, is there anywhere within striking distance of the airport you could spend a week in? If your sister objects, get her to travel to you for a day or two, as that will be easier than you making the journey with small children.

YANBU. That's quite hurtful for you and your parents, TBH, regardless of the money spent

Is she pregnant, maybe, and wanted to be married asap and before she got too big to wear her dress?

I wouldn't take two days to do the drive, though - either go over night, or start early one day and aim to stop two - three times for 45 mins max.

YADNBU. Whereabouts in the US is it? Is there anywhere else you can go to from the airport that isn't an 8 hour drive and maybe make a holiday out of it instead? Although I don't know if ur parents would be pissed off about this seeing as they've paid for the flights. Have you said anything to your parents about how out of order this is?

Which airport are you flying to? Is it near to somewhere where you could make a holiday out of this rather than driving so far for your sister's event?

YANBU

Your sister is a real piece of work! I'd be furious, too. What do your parents say to all this?

Jesus how ridiculous of her. I'm staggered

What do your parents think? When was she planning on telling you/them if you hadn't found out through Facebook?! YANBU

She really is out of order - fuming on your behalf!

I'd be fuming too. Your poor parents. I'd also forget the drive, and have a little holiday somewhere closer to the airport.

Heavens.

I'd be pretty cross also!

Claim on insurance?

Sell on the tickets?

I'd be pissed off too. I'd probably want to cancel, however if you would lose a lot of money, then could you make it into a family holiday in the USA instead?

That seems super selfish on your sister's part.
I would turn it into a holiday of sorts in the airport area and say you will be there if your sister wishes to meet. She MUST be able to see her unreasonableness??

sod that, id cancel unless she can give you a really really good reason not to. yanbu.

Weeellll. I'm in two minds. From her POV things were like this.

I live in the States. My sister and her family never visit us here and rely on me visiting on business, which is rushed and sad for me. I invited her to my wedding. I have made my home here so it's not a 'destination wedding'. I thought for once she might bring her family to my home. But she still didn't want to come. I was disappointed and told her so. My parents offered kindly to pay for the flights. So she is coming. Yay, even though she seemed unhappy about it. On a whim me and DH got married. We were in Vegas, you know how it is [pure conjecture]. I'm still having the reception but it's family style, potluck, super common here. Of course, they wouldn't have to bring food. And now she's unhappy again. I just want to celebrate with my sister and have her in my home.

AIBU?

Bloody hell! What do your parents think?

Do your parents know she has already got married?