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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Moving into boyfriends house, ok to ask for 10% of the house increasing each year

161 replies

User1234567889 · 13/07/2017 09:39

Boyfriend owns his house outright. I'm planning to move in and we will split all the bills 50 / 50. As there is no mortgage there are no housing costs for either of us.

What do you think about asking for 10% of the house in the case that we break up and this going up 5% for every year we live together until it caps off at 50%? No children together yet but I want to be protected and not end up with nothing.

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 13/07/2017 12:15

You deserve to lose half your house for posting a reverse.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 13/07/2017 12:17

Unless you're planning to be a housewife it doesn't really work if you don't have children

Actually, I have seen it work that way a lot in relationships before and without children. This has included instances where she has given up work to live in a location closer to his work, where he has moved for work (and she has followed) and where she has dropped to part time to look after him better so that he may further his career. Happens in lots of academic, armed forces and resources industries just for starters.

Notreallyarsed · 13/07/2017 12:18

I'm actually surprised that anyone would think this was ok. I own our house outright (legacy from family). DP is not on the deeds, however it's in my will that if I die first, he can have the house to raise our kids in until the youngest is 18, and if the kids (as adults) agree for the rest of his life when it will then pass to them to be sold/split 3 ways. I'm a SAHM and his wages pay the bills I should add. But he didn't want to be added to the deeds, because it was my house outright before we met.
That said, nobody else knows that, as far as everyone is concerned it's our house because it is for all intents and purposes.

grandOlejukeofYork · 13/07/2017 12:27

I do think you are entitled to 50% of the equity built up FROM WHEN YOU MOVE IN. For example, if he has paid off the mortgage and you move in, and the house is worth £200,000. After you have lived there for 5 years you break up, and the house is now worth £250,000, I think you should be entitled to £25,000 because you have paid towards the bills and presumably maintaining the house as someone who lives there

Are you mad?

Live rent free AND get half the equity for the period you lived there, just because you pay the odd bill, on someone elses house that they paid for? Bonkers.

ADishBestEatenCold · 13/07/2017 12:30

Was about to agree with this >>> "You want to be 'protected' - from what? Having to fund your own lifestyle one day?"

But then I saw this >>> "Ok sorry this is possibly a reverse, this exact situation happened but I NC to post it from her viewpoint."

I hate 'reverses' and, for inflicting one on us, OP is truly unreasonable.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 13/07/2017 12:37

I'm actually surprised that anyone would think this was ok. I own our house outright (legacy from family). DP is not on the deeds, however it's in my will that if I die first, he can have the house to raise our kids in until the youngest is 18, and if the kids (as adults) agree for the rest of his life when it will then pass to them to be sold/split 3 ways. I'm a SAHM and his wages pay the bills I should add. But he didn't want to be added to the deeds, because it was my house outright before we met.
That said, nobody else knows that, as far as everyone is concerned it's our house because it is for all intents and purposes

See, unless I had my own property there is no way I'd agree to this. I'd want to know that my retirement was secure and that I had every right to half of a house if my OH got tired of me, especially if I were contributing to 100% of the living costs! I'd want my name on those deeds or another arrangement where that house was rented out and there was an equal contribution to a properly shared house (rental income plus my wages).

fishfingerman307 · 13/07/2017 12:41

When ex-H and I divorced, he suggested he should have a share of the house that I'd bought - and paid all the bills and mortgage for.

Bit different as we were married, but he hadn't had to give up work or anything.

I pointed out I was selling at a massive loss and did he still want to share? Apparently not Grin

HidingFromDD · 13/07/2017 12:43

On that basis, I assume that if they split up, and the house has gone down in value then she will give him 10% of the decrease in value, as his asset has depreciated whilst she's been there....

BunsOfAnarchy · 13/07/2017 12:44

I'd dump you just for even considering something so fucking diabolically stupid.

Sounds like you poke needles into the condoms too. Waste of space post.

AlphaBites · 13/07/2017 12:46

Someone has graduated from the Cheeky Fucker school today.

Bound to be a wind up, no one would assume they are entitled to someone else's house upon moving in surely ?

19lottie82 · 13/07/2017 12:51

Of course not. You're being grabby.
You're not paying rent, so put the money you would have otherwise be spending in a savings account.

As already pointed out, if he agreed to this, would you be prepared to give him 10% of the value if the house dropped in value?

VeryButchyRestingFace · 13/07/2017 12:56

VeryButchyRestingFace - I get that... but if you were to marry and end up living there it doesn't matter what your original intent was. it is by default the matrimonial home

That isn't what it says. The opposite, in fact.

Anyway, like I said, I wouldn't do anything without seeking legal advice. Smile

Unless of course, my intended is on £500k a year with a transatlantic lifestyle and a 300 ft yatch moored in the Riviera.

In which case, bombs away!

TheFaerieQueene · 13/07/2017 12:56

If it goes down in value, will she give him 10% of the drop ? Wink

SuperRainbows · 13/07/2017 13:00

I am surprised how many posters don't read the full thread!
I trawl through endless pages.
I've often thought there should be a way of just reading original post and updates from op.

flickerty · 13/07/2017 13:02
Grin So with your logic, in 8 years time you would have a 50% share in the house your BF has bought.

Oh my..............

PoorYorick · 13/07/2017 13:02

Is it worth it?
Can I work it?
I put my thing down, flip it and

REVERSE IT

flickerty · 13/07/2017 13:03

Ugh. I was on a train and didn't see the update due to signal problems.

I HATE REVERSES

YABVVVVVVVU

PoorYorick · 13/07/2017 13:04

And since it's a reverse, chances are it's a load of cobblers and not what that person actually thinks anyway.

MaryMcCarthy · 13/07/2017 13:04

Jesus Christ, OP. The entitlement of some people is astounding.

Quimby · 13/07/2017 13:11

"In fairness to her she is quitting the job she doesn't like to work full time on her artisitc job."

How does this qualify as an "in fairness to her.." type statement. That phrase is used to contextualise or justify the actions of a person which may appear unreasonable at first but are actually more nuanced.

What you've written is the exact opposite.
You've essentially written "in fairness to her she won't be contributing at all and rather than work will pursue her passion while expecting someone else to pick up the tab and sign over half their gaff"

Katedotness1963 · 13/07/2017 13:39

She's giving up her job. Living rent free. Taking half his house from him when she dumps him. Scam artist!!

alltouchedout · 13/07/2017 13:41

I'm very confused. Are you going to be paying him some sort of rent?

Tofutti · 13/07/2017 13:46

Notreallyarsed

I own our house outright (legacy from family). DP is not on the deeds, however it's in my will that if I die first, he can have the house to raise our kids in until the youngest is 18, and if the kids (as adults) agree for the rest of his life when it will then pass to them to be sold/split 3 ways. I'm a SAHM and his wages pay the bills I should add. But he didn't want to be added to the deeds, because it was my house outright before we met.

Is this fair to DP? Does he have another home? What if he and the kids fall out and they chuck him out when they're 18? He should be able to live there without their permission.

bbcessex · 13/07/2017 13:58

Why do you care, OP?
You seem to have quite an opinion on your friend...

themauvehen · 13/07/2017 14:05

I had a v similar situation years ago. My then partner wanted to move in. I had a young child and asked him to contribute £600 month for everything. All his food, lodging, bills (including lots of beer!) etc. It was basically the cost of him being there plus the cost of tax credits I lost.

He refused unless I signed over some of my house to him (he owned a share in another house and had a business, which he made very clear was nothing to do with me!).

Funnily enough the relationship didn't last, even though he relented in the end.