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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Moving into boyfriends house, ok to ask for 10% of the house increasing each year

161 replies

User1234567889 · 13/07/2017 09:39

Boyfriend owns his house outright. I'm planning to move in and we will split all the bills 50 / 50. As there is no mortgage there are no housing costs for either of us.

What do you think about asking for 10% of the house in the case that we break up and this going up 5% for every year we live together until it caps off at 50%? No children together yet but I want to be protected and not end up with nothing.

OP posts:
ShizeItsWeegie · 13/07/2017 10:03

It doesn't bode well if she is this venal going IN to the relationship.

ExpatinBah · 13/07/2017 10:04

Wow - what an idiotic comment. If I were her DP - it would be fling your hook love.

MsLexicon · 13/07/2017 10:04

Unless you have magic buzzing lady parts, I really do not think he is going to buy this proposition.

Gromance02 · 13/07/2017 10:05

Even if they were married, I don't see why someone would be entitled to something their partner purchased, in full, before they were married. Morally, that would be so unfair.

nauticant · 13/07/2017 10:06

The good thing about this arrangement is that if she keeps count, at the end of the year she'll be able to work out how much she's earned per shag.

GabsAlot · 13/07/2017 10:06

can you film it whn you ask him

would love to see his reaction

Increasinglymiddleaged · 13/07/2017 10:07

I think she needs to get onto the property ladder and is worried about not doing so in this situation which in one way is fair enough as saving is OK but if prices go up then it only helps you so far. I don't think her solution is reasonable however.

If she wants to move in the must logical way to solve it is to get a buy to let on her own if she can afford this. Option 2 is that the owned house is let out and you then buy somewhere jointly. Option 3 I guess is that you take out a mortgage on the house that she pays so that she has a share in it.

newdocket · 13/07/2017 10:07

you cannot be serious?

Oldraver · 13/07/2017 10:07

By that reckoning, if I were to split with OH he would have 45% of my house, best part of £200,000.

It aint happening

BadTasteFlump · 13/07/2017 10:08

Yes go for it OP.

While your at it, can you ask him if I can have a little share too? Grin

YetAnotherSpartacus · 13/07/2017 10:08

I'm confused... isn't the usual Mumsnet line 'make sure you marry for protection?'. And if the OP and BF were married would she not be entitled to half of the house anyway? What's the difference?

In her shoes, I'd be putting money away for my own house / otherwise investing my cash, but if they had children and / or entered into a less than equal financial arrangement (i.e. it's agreed she becomes a full or part time SAHP) then you BET in her shoes I'd be asking for a 50% claim on that house.

Also, if BF wants a lifestyle that necessitates that the OP not be able to save any cash then I'd be clear about this too. My bottom line would be to save as much as any rent I'd normally be paying and to sculpt any lifestyle around this.

Other more tricky questions involve upkeep of the house - if the heating needs replacing who pays?

VeryButchyRestingFace · 13/07/2017 10:09

Getting married after a house has been bought, if the person hasn't contributed anything to it and not on the deeds doesn't automatically entitle you to anything.
Well in Scotland anyway.

Thank FUCK for that. Shock

I'm in Scotland, about to pay off the mortgage.

Am currently footloose and fancy free, but there is nae chance any future bidie in/husband is getting a share in the property.

If he even asked that, he wouldn't get a toe over the door.

And I would just live in sin if getting married meant he would get a stake in the property.

But just to be on the safe side, imma never gonna leave Scotland. Grin

grandOlejukeofYork · 13/07/2017 10:10

isn't the usual Mumsnet line 'make sure you marry for protection?'. And if the OP and BF were married would she not be entitled to half of the house anyway? What's the difference?

Yes it is, no she wouldn't, and there is a big difference.

HipsterHunter · 13/07/2017 10:10

Hilarious.

You are the most cheeky fucker i've ever seen in my life.

How about you use the money you would have been paying in rent/mortgage to buy your own property????

KimmySchmidt1 · 13/07/2017 10:11

As a woman who owns her flat and boyfriend moved in I can safely say you are being extremely greedy and slick.

Why do you think you are entitled to live rent free and win some of his house as well?

Obviously you could try asking, and demand 10,000 a month maintenance while you're at it - but I think he will be appalled by your grabbiness. Vulgar in the extreme.

If he one day wants to marry you then you will start to have some rights, maybe, but until then you are contributing nothing to the property so you get nothing out.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 13/07/2017 10:16

I see posters keep calling the OP names addressing User1234567889 as if she is the no good, greedy chancer described in the OP.

They've obviously missed her update that she is, in fact, posting about a "friend".

This is what happens when you post tedious old reverses.

Let this be a lesson to you. Grin

lovemycatsanddog · 13/07/2017 10:17

Cant believe anyone would ask this, if anyone suggested this to me it would end the relationship, YABVU

Wormulonian · 13/07/2017 10:17

Save what you would have paid in rent and buy a place yourself (to rent out). sounds pretty generous to me that you don't have to pay rent.

AboutAGallonofDietCoke · 13/07/2017 10:17

YABVVVVUUU
Are you my exhusband? He's a massive piss taker too!

Zigster · 13/07/2017 10:20

"I want to be protected and not end up with nothing."

I think you are thinking of a business contract rather than a relationship. And, as a business contract, what service are you providing in return for a share of your business partner's asset?

RideOn · 13/07/2017 10:23

When I read the OP I thought, YABU get a savings account.

Then I read the update and she is -BU

VeryButchyRestingFace · 13/07/2017 10:24

And, as a business contract, what service are you providing in return for a share of your business partner's asset?

And when you/she answers that, try not to be indelicate. Wink

We don't want to scare the 🐴

HurtleTheTurtle · 13/07/2017 10:24

I think you are being very unreasonable. You need to offer to pay more than 50% of the bills. You also need to have any agreement in writing - he could come after you for monies if you split up and move out.

MsRinky · 13/07/2017 10:29

Do marriage vows in Scotland not have the "with all my worldly goods I thee endow" bit then? Interesting.

harshbuttrue1980 · 13/07/2017 10:30

YABU. However, as another poster suggested, I do think you are entitled to 50% of the equity built up FROM WHEN YOU MOVE IN. For example, if he has paid off the mortgage and you move in, and the house is worth £200,000. After you have lived there for 5 years you break up, and the house is now worth £250,000, I think you should be entitled to £25,000 because you have paid towards the bills and presumably maintaining the house as someone who lives there. The clock should start ticking from when you move in, but anything before you moved in is his.