To troll this wedding dress code, just a bit...

[badgeronthedrums]

Right, I've NC for this (been here since the dark ages) and am going to have to be a bit vague with the details because it's very, very outing and I suspect that some of the other parties are on here.

We've been invited to a wedding and we cannot refuse the invitation, not at all, the kind of thing where the only valid excuse would be being dead. So we said we'd come, DH and I. It turns out that the dress code is black fucking tie.

Now there's a whole other argument about dictating to people in this rather expensive way, but there's also a more practical problem. DH is not a suit person; he does not own one, he did not even wear a jacket to his own wedding. If he hires an outfit, he will look like a waiter. If he buys something, he will never ever wear it again.

I have two questions.

Does he have any choice?

Can the hive mind think creatively and find him something to wear that doesn't cost £700? (he's over 40 and doesn't have an iota of Scottish blood in him). If it was just a little bit annoying this would be even better. I am thinking sequins but he is not.

I came on expecting to read about some way out fancy dress theme - only to find they're just requesting a dinner jacket, in which case you can't really go wrong, can you? . It's just a black suit and tie. Could you get any more basic?
If I got an invite saying "black dress" - then great. No shopping or thought required for that!

badgeronthedrums some people have been very rude.

Sorry about that.

I've not read all these comments so hope I've not repeated anything!

I think couples do have a right to try to impose a dress code if they want to. I also think that they need to accept some people will not follow it.

I would say that having accepted the invitation, the kindest thing to do would be to stick as closely to the code as you can without breaking the bank.

The first thing I would do is find out if any friends are willing to lend your dh a suitable suit.

Remember the key bit about black tie is the tie. Once you get the tie right the rest is less significant! IMHO. I once went to a black tie ball with a gorgeous young man (I was young too) and he wore light coloured canvas trousers with his dinner jacket! Is that an option. (I was not impressed but it did not stop me snogging him!)

If money is especially tight I would even buy a cheaper wedding gift and put the extra cash towards buying a second hand suit. You may find an ex rental or charity shop item is quite cheap.

www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/mens-clothing

Suits and Tailoring from £19.99

Yes, he may never wear it again and may end up selling it on line or donating it to the charity shop, but I'd do my best for this couple's big day.

I hope you are buying yourself a fabulous new dress.

Everanewbie - not everyone on MN is in the UK...

badgeronthedrums

Ah, you do have a nice dress, good. And a swirly one at that.

Could he just wear a black tie? How body confident does he feel ?

what about these?

@RhubardGin, I think there's always more moaning on MN, as it's anonymous and people can just vent what they actually think. It means that you get very heated debates sometimes.

I actually like the opportunity to dress up for weddings, although it helps if I have enough notice so I can go on a diet if I need to lol. We haven't been to one for a very long time, as all my friends are married now or single. It will be the next generation before too long, I'm sure!

I would go with the suggestion of hiring a suit for your DH, I'm sure he'll look great, I like the way my DH looks! It does matter; when we got married, the DH of one of my close friends at the time wore a black leather jacket. I winced at the sight of his outfit when I watched the wedding video afterwards.

Jake I laughed out loud, gonna get one for DH!

They've sold out of extra large, not that I was going for that one, I just noticed. Who is going to order the small!

If you do go ahead and hire one, make sure you get Clooney's Batman tux, not Val Kilmer's

(Friends reference...)

I imagine that a lot of people moan on here for the same reason that I am, which is that I'm not going to say a word in RL although some of the kerfuffle around the wedding is making me roll my eyes so hard that they are practically in orbit.

Being asked to wear black tie to a big do ia within the realms of normal life experiences Wasn't mine, but I've now recalibrated my expectations thanks to this thread.

Jake I may get him that for Christmas.

OP,

Maybe DH could change into this comfy, unrestrictive t-shirt, once the actual wedding and formal part of reception is over with?
www.etsy.com/uk/listing/242482900/tuxedo-rose-suit-funny-mens-womens-smart?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=tuxedo%20t%20shirt&ref=sr_gallery_13

(Good suggestions from PPs re the actual 'official' wedding wear...sounds like you've sorted out his required outfit).

Which did you go for in the end, OP?

Topman clearance smart jackets at £35 -
there's a few
www.topman.com/en/tmuk/category/clearance-6775178/view-all-sale-2344190/suit-smart-jackets/N-d54Z23eaZ7yd?Nf=nowPrice%7CBTWN%2B35.0%2B35.0&Nrpp=20&siteId=%2F12555&No=0

Glad you bought, rather than hired - he may need one again one day, and it sounds like you bought cheaper than you can hire, so it's already paid for itself.

Could also go for a fun style tie www.google.co.uk/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwi4gLKiw4bVAhWMCtMKHa-OApAYABAjGgJ3Yg&sig=AOD64_2le9w8Qajvy1u6fg2InweDsITS1Q&ctype=5&q=&ved=0ahUKEwiIka-iw4bVAhXKC8AKHcR7AKsQ2CkIvQQwCg&adurl=

Rhubarb Gin
It's not a MN thing.
I HATE weddings.

All men look very handsome in a dj!!! (Tell him you will give him a shag if he wears it!!)

I thought weddings were pretty much black tie dress code generally.... Or at least smart suits and ties. Having said that a female friend turned up to ours in jeans, everyone else was in formal dresses. Nobody except my mum 😕 cared... Including us. We were more interested in our friends being there than what they were wearing.

I disagree that all men look good in black tie. Usually the suit is hired and therefore ill-fitting. Often they look uncomfortable, and it's a boring, boring look.

DH and I both like to dress up on occasion, but in a way, that's why I don't like dress codes. It takes the fun out of choosing and putting together an outfit.

Haven't RTFT but check out the Next sale - tuxedo jackets for £60 and trousers for £29 x

Agree ask in charity shops they almost always have in stock out the back at £20 and under.Husband sings in a choir that wear them he had last one from charity shop £15 used for several years now.

You might try M&S for trousers? They definitely do dress suits and I just checked the site and saw that they have listings for wedding suits and "prom" suits. Not sure where you live but I'm sure that they'll have them in the main London stores and you could call to check if there is anywhere else more local.
My DH used to have an ancient dress suit of his fathers which was lovely, if a little old and green. Sadly he is now too old and fat large for it so kitted himself out with an M&S one for emergency use only -he also hates dressing up.

This?

just rent a tux or suit it only costs about 80 quid.

We had a black tie wedding. In winter. In the evening. With no children.

Lots of MN rule breaking, sorry OP.

It helped create a lovely atmosphere.

I don't think he should wear a long black tie - they're for funerals.

Primark and asda do nice suits xx

DH bought a really cheap combo from Matalan about 8 years ago. Dinner Suit with fancy shirt and some sash waitband thing and a bow tie - the whole lot was less than £50. He's worn it 5 times since then on formal nights for a cruise. It's not made from the finest fabric in the world and the trousers are looking a bit shiny but it does the job. Might be worth seeing if you can find something like that - and if he ever needs to wear anything like it again it will be there waiting in the wardrobe.

Or you can hire. Or have a look round charity shops.

Oh, please buy the "Mad Scientist Howie Lab Coat-Red" from that Historical Emporium link. Then the bride will come on here to complain about you and we can enjoy ourselves agreeing that your DH was completely out of order.