To be unable to work out if my job or my husband are the problem?

[shadycornerofthegarden]

After returning from maternity leave after February half term, it's been made clear to me I'm not welcome at work.

I feel constantly sick and scared about going in.

Every day I think I just just hand in my notice and be a SAHM. Should be easy - my husband earns enough, we have enough for a happy if rather meager existence if we stayed in our current property (big mortgage)

What puts me off doing this is I'm not completely happy in my marriage either. I'm definitely not at the point of leaving. I was raised to believe you stay with the father of your children. And our baby loves his dad.

But I feel like I am stuck. Stuck in a horrible job and I can't talk about it with the person I'm meant to be closest too as he will just tell me to leave with just a bit too much light in his eyes. nd that scares me.

Thanks. Fundamentally the thread has probably gone on too long; some people are still appalled at me not wanting life-coaching for some reason, but others still are offering advice that is well meaning but that isn't applicable to me, and then getting cross and het up that I won't take it, even though I have said numerous times now, I want to stay in teaching, I don't have anyone to talk to, I don't want to be a SAHM.

Yes I am depressed. I am on anti depressants which are making me feel very strange.

Thank you.

shady

I think it can be difficult to think clearly when on antidepressants.
This is one of the reasons I am nervous about taking them - even though I have had lots of well meaning advice to do so.

My late son was on them and told me that they just made him feel numb and in permanent brain fog. He wasn't able to function in his career because of this.

I wonder if there might be a different medication or brand that might be more suitable for you?

I'm really not sure where the OP has said anything that suggests she isn't thinking clearly. She's thinking clearly enough to identify the problems and repeatedly state them despite more posters than I can count failing to read what she's actually said before imparting their wisdom.

The Op's thread title states that she has difficulty working out exactly where the problem lies.
I have read her posts carefully and tried to offer some suggestions.
I am aware from my own experience that some antidepressants can make thought processing difficult.
Shady has said that they make her feel strange.
I don't see that suggesting a review of medication is unhelpful.

It sounds as if you are depressed. That can make you feel as if the world is against you. Please visit your GP .

How long have you been on the AD sometimes it takes a while before you settle with them. Otherwise as a PP has suggested maybe they are not the right type for you.

If you are depressed and on AD that make you feel strange I would hold off making any decisions right now. You have a break from work coming up. Maybe park the issues for a few weeks and allow yourself sometime to de-stress after what sounds like a very tough time in work then you may feel less overwhelmed by your situation.

ADs are fairly well known to make you feel strange hang on in there and hope they work

What issue is most compelling to address for you ? Work or marriage OP ?

Either way with the holidays coming up you will have a (un needed ?) break

Simple fact is for depression the main advice and Remedies are:

Talk it out
Take anti depressants
And do Simple remedies such as gardening , exercise etc

Good luck OP I appreciate this thread has not really been as supportive as it could have been

Remember you are not the first person to have this so a lot of advice is not just people shouting platitudes but genuinely sharing that Worked for them. But I sense your rebuttal is down to you feeling pretty shitty

Maybe come back to the thread in a few weeks when the anti depressants are stabilised and re read it ?

Unfortunately things don't change unless you are prepared to make some changes to address things