Lied to DH, do I just come clean?

[OverTheHammer]

I asked him if he'd mind me joining David Lloyd for £50 a month. He agreed but said "as long as its no more than £50 a month".

When I went to join up however I signed up for platinum account as I wanted Tennis included. Always loved playing tennis but never anyone to play with - the club hosts club nights where everyone just rotates so it's perfect for me.

When I got back he said "still definately £50 a month right?" And I didn't have the heart to tell him so I said it was just £50 a month.

The real price however is £65 a month. Not a massive difference but he won't be happy. First month they're only taking £50 as they have a special deal on but on 1st august, they'll take £65.

I thought in my head I'd just say the extra is a £15 one off joining few but I'm going to have to come clean arnt I?

£65 is well cheap with tennis at DL

Yes

You have a history of lying to him about money don't you?

How were you going to explain the extra £15 a month going forward?
Yes you'll have to tell him, as he's going to find out anyway.
Can you afford the extra £15 a month or will it leave finances tight?

I don't understand this. Is he paying for you or where is the money coming from?

Whys he so controlling over your leisure spending? Are finances too tight for it?

Is it a joint account and he will notice?

Why are you asking his permission, don't you have your own money?

Why are you asking his permission, don't you have your own money?

I wanted to ask this too, OP.

Tell him you want to join the tennis it's an extra 15 a month- see what he says

Yes, of course you need to tell him and have a proper discussion about it. I handle the finances in our family and would be really annoyed if we had agreed a budget for something and DH then went 30% over budget and lied about it!

Why are you asking him anyway? I kind of say to dp "you don't mind do you" but only as a weird courtesy. If he said he did I would just say tough shit! I earn my own money I don't need his permission!

Well, he's going to find out anyway if it's coming out of the joint account.

Can you afford £65? Will it leave the rest of the family short for "fun" money?

It's spare change to some, a small fortune to others.

Assuming you can afford £65 per month, why does he care so much?

Also, my gym is horrendous and it's £40 per month (I live in the back of beyond so it's either travel 40 mins each way to go somewhere decent or this). Maybe he just doesn't have a clue what these things cost.

Is the extra £15 affordable or not? If money is tight, then spending extra is not on, as your family may be short elsewhere.

However, if you can easily afford the £65 out of your share of the fun money, it's no business of his what you spend your money on.

If the £65 is not affordable, is there something else you can give up/downgrade, to balance the books? Eg lower TV package or mobile phone contract? Having less spending money in general?

"Why are you asking his permission, don't you have your own money?"

We don't have "his and hers" money in our house. We have one pot where everything goes into and out of. We have separate savings accounts though. I don't ask OH if I can spend money, but I don't lie to him.

What are the reasons for £50 being agreed in the first place? Because that will tell you if YABU or not, either way he needs to be told. Boot on the other foot and you wouldn't be happy that you agreed on amount for whatever reason and he went over budget, and will be going over budget monthly.

Why would he be angry, whose money is it?

What's the reason he's saying £50 op?

Why is this not your decision? Is it coming out of family finances or something?

We have a joint account, all income goes into it and all outcome comes out of it. I do earn my own money but I only work 30 hours a week as opposed to DHs 40 hours a week. He earns over double what I do. This is why I feel I need to ask him.

It doesn't leave us short at all, we'll hardly notice the gym membership going out whether it's £50 or £65

So why did you lie?

You pay £65 for platinum membership? DL are ripping me off then!

We agree on budgets all the time, doesn't mean we keep to them. My OH's attitude would be, if you are getting the use of it, then £15 to play tennis at least four times a month is a bargain, especially if you think what a meal out with a bottle of wine costs.

We have around £2k spare each month after all bills and groceries etc which generally just get flittered into with takeaways, cinema trips, holiday payments etc - that's £2k a month after gym membership has come out also.