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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect to leave my dd's pooey nappy at friend's house?

271 replies

Lalunya85 · 10/07/2017 22:34

A while ago when DD was about 10 weeks old we went to see friends at their house for the day. They have two dds but they are older (11 and 4 at the time so out of nappies).

Our DD did a poo and we changed her St friend's house and put the dirty nappy in a nappy bag. I asked my friend's partner who was near me at the time what to do with the dirty nappy. She sort of laughed and said: "you're not going to leave that at My house!"

At first I thought this was a joke. It wasn't. Then I assumed she must mean to take it to the bin outside, but that wasn't what she meant either.

So we had to take the nappy home with us in the car. It was a 3 hour drive, if that makes a difference.

Obviously we got rid of the nappy at the first public bin that we saw, but aibu to think this is a really strange and unusual attitude?

Or am I so lost in baby parent world that I can't see how unreasonable it would be of me to expect my friend to throw my baby's nappy in her bin??

Give me your verdict.

OP posts:

Mittens1969 · 12/07/2017 19:28

That's the reason why I always preferred to take shitty nappies away in the nappy bag and get rid of them later myself. If you have a long journey ahead of you, you can always do a toilet stop and put the nappy in the nappy waste at the public toilets.

Wet nappies are not such a problem but I still used to err on the side of caution and take them away with me. It saves any embarrassment.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 12/07/2017 20:17

household waste these days is generally getting incinerated rather than being landfilled, so you can reassure yourself that the energy in that poo is being recovered

@whatsthecomingoverthehill Can you please direct me to the paper that reports this? I have a professional interest, so it would be very useful :)

TruJay · 12/07/2017 20:22

I think it's weird but I know a few people who think otherwise. When my friend and I visit one another at our houses, wees are ok in inside bin as emptied often but we put poos in wheelie bin because, to be frank, my daughter is the smelliest kid I know, bless her

When my kids stay overnight at grandmas, my MIL puts used nappies in dd's overnight bag and sends them back, that's fucking weird we've had massive arguments in the past over what little interest they show in the kids so now they have begun having them more frequently, I think it may be a form of punishment because she doesn't like me

Blueink · 12/07/2017 20:29

YABU, would expect to take it home in the nappy bag - with the exception of staying over. If it was just a visit, would only ask if it was a friend with a nappy bin or also with a child in nappies. Other people won't necessarily empty their bins so often and it's putting them out

Blueink · 12/07/2017 20:46

& it's just as 'weird' to think it was ok to leave it BUT to have to stop off and find a bin at the earliest opportunity, rather than have it in a nappy sack in the car (on a cool day) for 3 hours

MaisyPops · 12/07/2017 20:49

Inside bins I would understand.
But I think it's weird that she wasn't happy with it going in the OUTSIDE wheely bin! What does she think her own rubbish is like?

Leapfrog44 · 12/07/2017 20:56

I'd be bad form to leave it inside but the outside bin should not be a problem? Stupid

ChevalierTialys · 12/07/2017 21:10

I hate when people do shit like this to their guests. How petty and umreasonable. A pooey nappy in their outside bin wouldnt have done them any harm.

BasketOfDeplorables · 12/07/2017 21:21

I think that after the nappy has been made into such a big issue that it probably took on a life of its own in the OP's mind, so she had to dispose of it as soon as possible or it would fee like she was giving it a lift home.

KarlKennedysBumCrack · 12/07/2017 21:30

10 week old baby poo doesn't even smell! Kitchen bin would have been fine, or wheelie bin outside if the host really minds. Taking it home is going too far!

CinderellasBroom · 12/07/2017 21:35

Truly weird - if she has a problem with a bagged nappy in a kitchen or bathroom bin with a lid, then she clearly has the nose of a bloodhound. And I can't see why anyone would have an issue with a nappy in an outside bin.

Oh, and I gave a hollow laugh at 'scrape the poo off' - at 10 weeks, ime it's basically yellow water. Nothing to scrape.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 12/07/2017 21:44

This is one occasion when MN could do with a poll function.

People who have yet to have babies and retain romantic notions of how delightful baby poo is, plus a proportion of those with children still in nappies would be YANBU.

The rest of the world wouldn't dream of leaving a cellophane bag of shit (no matter how innocuous it apparently is) at someone else's house. They'd be firmly YABU.

BasketOfDeplorables · 12/07/2017 21:48

I think it might be split:

People who care about making guests comfortable
People who are obsessed with bins

CinderellasBroom · 12/07/2017 21:51

Computer I have had two babies, but no children in nappies now. And I would be fine with a bagged nappy in my kitchen, bathroom or outside bin. So I think it's more a 'oh my god the germs, bleach everything and then nuke it for good measure' brigade versus the 'if I don't have to touch it and it's all bagged up, what's the problem?' people.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 12/07/2017 21:52

People who leave bags of shit at friends' houses.
People who don't.

MaisyPops · 12/07/2017 21:56

ComputerUserNotTrained
But they're not leaving it lying around somebody's house.

General consensus seems to be, 'fair enough don't leave it in an indoor bin, but friend was being weird by refusing to let you out it in the OUTDOOR bin'.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 12/07/2017 21:59

In all honesty Cinderella it probably wouldn't bother me (I have a wheelie bin outside - for most of my 45 years though I haven't), but the outrage in some posts over someone preferring that guests take nappies back with them is baffling.

BasketOfDeplorables · 12/07/2017 22:02

Actually, I think it's usually the other way round, Computer. I was expecting newborn poo to be a bit grim, but it's really quite inoffensive. Later on it's just like adult poo, but I don't understand the squeamishness. I've worked in a care role, though.

user1497480444 · 12/07/2017 22:06

Depends where they live, some boroughs refuse to collect bins with nappies in for anyone other than households who are registered with them as having either babies or older people with incontinence living there.

BasketOfDeplorables · 12/07/2017 22:11

Do they, user? Many councils provide a nappy collection service after they reduced collections to the point where people with nappies in their waste said that it was not possible to go that long. They don't ban nappies from general waste in those cases, though.

Dianag111 · 12/07/2017 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Lalunya85 · 12/07/2017 22:23

I am seriously surprised to see that there are quite a few people who think that iwbu! It was definitely worth starting the thread for that.

For what it's worth, I wouldn't expect anyone to let me put the nappy in an indoor bin. Outdoor bin, wrapped up in a few bags if necessary, I genuinely can't see the issue with.

Also, yes to "10 week old baby pop doesn't smell". It really doesn't, especially since dc was ebf, so very innocuous poo.

Thanks for all the replies again, I can't believe the thread is still going

OP posts:

sparechange · 12/07/2017 22:27

Outdoor bin, wrapped up in a few bags if necessary, I genuinely can't see the issue with

Only if you have wheelie bins. If you have old style bins where they take the black bags out by hand, then your nappy wrapped up in a few bags would just at the bottom festering, until the poor householder had to go and fish it out by hand and put it in their indoor bin!

BasketOfDeplorables · 12/07/2017 22:32

It doesn't have to go into the bin loose, if that's how it works. It can go in a black bag all of its own if it absolutely cannot spend any time in an indoor bin.

NotForSale · 12/07/2017 22:33

YABU!
It's gross to leave a bag of shit at your friends house, even if it is ebf shit.
If you dont want it in the car with you for 3hours what makes you think she wants it in her bin until bin collection day!

Take your shit with you!

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