To expect to leave my dd's pooey nappy at friend's house?

[Lalunya85]

A while ago when DD was about 10 weeks old we went to see friends at their house for the day. They have two dds but they are older (11 and 4 at the time so out of nappies).

Our DD did a poo and we changed her St friend's house and put the dirty nappy in a nappy bag. I asked my friend's partner who was near me at the time what to do with the dirty nappy. She sort of laughed and said: "you're not going to leave that at My house!"

At first I thought this was a joke. It wasn't. Then I assumed she must mean to take it to the bin outside, but that wasn't what she meant either.

So we had to take the nappy home with us in the car. It was a 3 hour drive, if that makes a difference.

Obviously we got rid of the nappy at the first public bin that we saw, but aibu to think this is a really strange and unusual attitude?

Or am I so lost in baby parent world that I can't see how unreasonable it would be of me to expect my friend to throw my baby's nappy in her bin??

Give me your verdict.

If the nappy is well sealed in a nappy bag and put in a bin I really don't see the issue??

With the myriad of bins, boxes and containers councils expect us to sort waste into nowadays asking where to put a nappy is a totally reasonable question as you'd need to know which is the landfill bin! Not letting you put it in the bin is weird, yanbu

I wouldn't leave a wet or poo nappy in any indoor bin at a house where the children are long past the nappy wearing days. Asking to put it into their outside bin it I would just take it and dispose of it myself in nearest bin if it was extremely bad otherwise wet nappy could be disposed of when I got home. I personally wouldn't be offended if they didn't want me to put it in their bins whether inside or outside, but I haven't encountered people who would have a problem. That said, they do know what it's like to have babies so perhaps they should've been a bit accommodating.

And, yes sealed up and put into a nappy bag, of course it should be okay to put into an outdoor bin.

If the baby needs a nappy change at the beginning of the visit, surely the parent putting it in their changing bag is just as bad as in an inside bin. It's still sitting in your house.

I had a friend who did this to me-ironically her child is the same age as mine so used to nappies but was just toilet trainedat the time (her kids are the sort that do everything SO much earlier than everybody else and pretty sure they poop glitter and fairy dust so nappies never a problem for them!) Not allowed to leave it her communal bins outside had to take home. I felt she was being a little unreasonable but didn't question it as didn't want to cause a row.
However my rule is bag it and bin it outside pls i will even take it for you if you're redressing a wriggler

FGS, it's a tiny baby's poo, properly bagged, etc and some people react as if it's a nuclear waste!!! Life is definitely too short for this, especially for regularly washing outdoor bins. Get yourselves a mojito and enjoy the sun

I do wonder about how some posters will cope with elderly parents, or illness in general.

[tangent]
No worries Computer, I have a professional interest in it too.

The thing I don't get about waste in general is how much focus there is on domestic household waste, when commercial and industrial accounts for just as much. (Construction accounts for even more, but a lot of that is basically soils and other inert material).
[/tangent]

What I don't get is what people think bins are for if they're not for waste? Ok some waste is a bit grosser than others but for god's sake just EMPTY THE BIN if it smells.
If my bathroom bin has sanpro, smelly old socks, used protection, dirty wet wipes, banana skins etc in it I put it out at the end of the day or even DURING THE DAY. It literally takes 1 minute. The house is not permanently contaminated or otherwise defiled.
People should unclench!

They could of put it in the bin no harm done to them.
That said I always take my babas nappies home, I bag them, put them in my bag and get rid later, on quite few occasions though my friends have looked at me like a mad women taken the nappies out of my bag and put them in their own bins

My SIL used to leave dirty nappies on the floor by the back door (with no nappy sack), and didn't take them outside. Given the back door was in the kitchen, I was less than impressed!

When my DD was in nappies I always took her nappies away with me when visiting people (I would subtly just put in my nappy changing bag with a couple of nappy bags around it). Mainly because no one wants them stinking their bin and/or person visiting had one baby and nappies to worry about. I'd dispose of them asap either public bin or as soon as home in outside bin depending where was going after leaving their house.

However if people visit me with a baby I always offer to take the nappy from them and put in our outside bin.

I can see your friend's point but she was rude not offering to put it in her outside bin for you and making u feel uncomfortable in her house.

Cloth nappies here and all poo flushed. The amount of shit smeared plastic going into landfill every day is terrifying.

Haven't read the entire thread but if it was a formula poo nappy, it might have stank out their place and they were a bit annoyed. I have lost count of the number of times visitors in baby lala land have cleaned their pooey babies on my sofa, carpet, in my living room.... Totally gross and rude. Maybe the gift of the pooey nappy as a keep sake was just too much.

@Coughingchildren5, no the OP has said that her baby was breast fed and therefore the poo didn't smell. I can't comment on whether there's a difference or not, as we adopted our two girls. She was only ever suggesting using the outside bin.

But I do wonder why you keep inviting friends with babies if their pooey nappies offend you so much? It goes with the territory somewhat. I always used to ask where my host would like us to change our girls' nappies though.

Maybe think in advance of visits from friends with children with nappies where you would like them to change the said nappies? Bathroom would be the obvious place.

Unless you make your guest leave immediately after changing a nappy, them putting it in their changing bag will have the same effect on your house as putting it in an inside bin. If you can smell it in your bin, you can smell it in their changing bag, so the sensible thing is to put it outside right away.

If you can stand it in their changing bag because the magic force field of their property protects you in a way a bin lid doesn't, then you could just tell them to put it in your inside bin, and take the rubbish out later that day.

@mittens1969 yes the bathroom is the best place. I took a slightly cushioned mat with me when I had small ones to make sure they were comfortable on the floor. I never dreamed of changing my babies in living rooms or bedrooms or on kitchen tables which visitors actually do with no hesitation.
It's not the pooey nappies that are offensive, it's how they are dealt with. Be polite and hygienic and discrete.

I think in that case you need to speak up and tell them where you want them to do it. If they're close friends or family and you want to see them and their little ones again then that's the way to handle it.

I don't personally have an issue with parents changing nappies in our living room, as long as they use a changing mat or towels to protect the carpet. (I'm even happy to do the nappy change myself if it's a niece or nephew, we have a lot of those!) But that's because I'm used to the pooey smell from past nappy changing and cat litter.

Doing it on the kitchen table would shock me, though, I don't think I'd invite that that parent back! Very unhygienic!

Sounds like OP was being very considerate even to ask. The bathroom bin is for bathroom waste; they're usually small so given the size of nappy it's not exactly going to be there incubating flies for months even if that were the bin used.

Decent, considerate thing to ask, assuming they'd direct to the outside bin if they have a problem with bathroom bin being used.

Obviously it's not the nicest piece of rubbish in the world but rubbish usually isn't pleasant. Where's the cut off point - are we supposed to be asking where to throw sanitary towels, and the response will be take it away with us?!

The OP was extremely clear - NOT saying that they drove with it for three hours but the implication being that the friend was happier with that possibility than for any of her bins being used for bin purpose.

Personally, I'd rather have a visiting child's nappy in my bathroom, kitchen or outside bin, than sitting in the nappy bag - not designed for that purpose - waiting until the visit is over!