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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to leave my dd's pooey nappy at friend's house?

271 replies

Lalunya85 · 10/07/2017 22:34

A while ago when DD was about 10 weeks old we went to see friends at their house for the day. They have two dds but they are older (11 and 4 at the time so out of nappies).

Our DD did a poo and we changed her St friend's house and put the dirty nappy in a nappy bag. I asked my friend's partner who was near me at the time what to do with the dirty nappy. She sort of laughed and said: "you're not going to leave that at My house!"

At first I thought this was a joke. It wasn't. Then I assumed she must mean to take it to the bin outside, but that wasn't what she meant either.

So we had to take the nappy home with us in the car. It was a 3 hour drive, if that makes a difference.

Obviously we got rid of the nappy at the first public bin that we saw, but aibu to think this is a really strange and unusual attitude?

Or am I so lost in baby parent world that I can't see how unreasonable it would be of me to expect my friend to throw my baby's nappy in her bin??

Give me your verdict. Smile

OP posts:
Tomorrowillbeachicken · 11/07/2017 09:42

Your friend is a freak

craftsy · 11/07/2017 09:48

Check the actual bye laws. I wrote an article on this about 5 years ago. I picked 20 boroughs at random and every single one of them had a description of how human waste should be disposed of. I was shocked but it's likely universal because finding such a law in 100% of my sample indicates a very strong likelihood that all/nearly all councils have the same laws on this.

beekeeper17 · 11/07/2017 09:49

I find it really odd that so many people think it's unreasonable to put it in the outside bin in a nappy bag, it's a bin, that's what it's for!! I would always pop it into a nappy bag and into someone's outside bin, wouldn't even have thought that would have been an issue! If it's someone with young kids, I would use their nappy bin inside if they have one.

On one occasion, I was at someone's house and their bin was down at the bottom of their lane so I just put it into my car, of course I forgot it was there until the next day!!

BasketOfDeplorables · 11/07/2017 09:57

Every borough I've lived and worked in has directed us to put nappies and pet waste in general waste - all the leaflets regarding bins have stated this explicitly, so it's what the council is asking everyone to do.

Perhaps nappies aren't classed as human waste in the same way? A baby fed only on milk certainly isn't producing poo in the same sense. At that point it would all soak right into the nappy, whereas now I can usually flush the poo and just bag up the used nappy.

newbian · 11/07/2017 10:00

My issue is more the rudeness of inviting the mother of a 10 week old over, having such a strong opinion about the best disposal method of baby poo, but not raising it until the mother has pooey diaper in hand and needs to do something with it.

It's also not something that a lot of new mothers have thought about in advance. I remember the first time I took DD out and had to dispose of poo and feeling so awkward trying to find the best place to put it without offending people.

Wilhelminaaa · 11/07/2017 10:00

When my DD did a poo at my friend's house, I asked her where she would like me to dispose of the nappy. She took it our of my hand and put it in the bin herself😂 Not an outside one either...

Honestly never heard of putting the poo down the loo first.

Wilhelminaaa · 11/07/2017 10:09

But then, I take the inside rubbish out once a day at least, and the bin men take it away every day!!

JacquesHammer · 11/07/2017 10:10

Seriously people are ridiculous.

A nappy properly bagged from a 10 week old baby won't smell at all.

Do people seriously smell their bin each time they open it?!

MusicToMyEars800 · 11/07/2017 10:23

BumWad I couldn't put it any better myself Grin It's just madness, I mean who takes a dirty nappy home with them instead of throwing it in a wheelie bin?! Confused

Sparklingbrook · 11/07/2017 10:25

Why would you not put the solid bits down the loo? Better than them going to landfill.

Jux · 11/07/2017 10:28

I would assume that people who have come out the other side of pooey nappies really don't want someone else's stinking up their bin and take it home double or triple wrapped. That's what I did 15 years ago, and so did everyone I knew who had small babies/children. Dirty nappies were never left, unless the host specifically said it was OK. We didn't even ask, just assumed.

These days, where we live, our instructions on where to put what sort of rubbish and whether it should be washed/double bagged etc are so wide-reaching and the fines for non-cooperation so high, that I'm not surprised non-nappy-using friends would say that to you.

DudeHatesHisCarryOut · 11/07/2017 10:28

If you think that's bad I remember being told by sister, when I was a young teenager, that I had to go to the public loos about 5 minutes walk away to change my sanitary towels! Luckily my mother was staying too and she told my sister in no uncertain terms that I was not doing that.

BasketOfDeplorables · 11/07/2017 10:36

Yikes, dude! That's horrific.

ScissorBow · 11/07/2017 13:10

Surely you could have just stuck it in the wheelie / outside bin? I still have a child in nappies so I have designated disposal facilities but even when I don't I'm sure sticking it in the outside bin will be no big deal. 3 hours drive with a pooey nappy? No way!

bonbonours · 11/07/2017 13:33

On the rare occasion we have people with babies round we do ask them to take their nappies away with them but we do it apologetically and explain why which is that we haven't put any rubbish in landfill in the 11 years since dd1 born (used cloth nappies). We are very careful, recycle and compost and produce a small carrier bag of washed and therefore non smelly waste a week which my husband takes into Westminster on the train because waste there is incinerated to produce energy. Obviously taking a stinky nappy wouldn't really work. I'm sure people think we are hippy weirdos but at least they understand why we are saying no to nappies in the bin.

By the way if you keep food waste separate and wash up empty containers your bins don't smell. Just a choice you have.

Madonna9 · 11/07/2017 13:39

Yanbu! Very weird...

Mittens1969 · 11/07/2017 13:50

I wouldn't really have an issue with taking a pooey nappy home tbh, we used to have to do that at a mums and tots group I used to go to. And I did always empty the poo into the toilet when I could.

I'm a bit puzzled by a pp saying that she wouldn't want shit in her bin either inside or out, that it shouldn't go in wheelie bins at all? Just what is a mum supposed to do with a pooey nappy? Sometimes the poo isn't possible to get rid of completely.

The whole thing about disposable nappies, they are, well, disposable lol.

user1474460381 · 11/07/2017 14:03

I have a 6 month old and had no idea this was even a thing. If it's a poo then it'll be bagged and put in the wheelie bin. I did visit a friend recently and took the nappies home with me but that was only because it was raining and I didn't want to get wet taking them out. I doubt very much that my friend would have expected me to do that.

Nikephorus · 11/07/2017 14:09

Outside bin fine, inside bin no thanks.

Eggandchipsfortea93 · 11/07/2017 14:33

I find it really odd that so many people think it's unreasonable to put it in the outside bin in a nappy bag, it's a bin, that's what it's for!!

Its not about what you think, or I think, its about the local councils rules for refuse collection. Mine expects ALL rubbish to be in black bags within the wheelie bin, they state this in writing (and will not remove the rubbish if any of it is not in black bags)

  • so you may wish to write and tell such councils that you don't like that policy, but its pointless berating people on here, and telling them what you think the rule ought to be.
BasketOfDeplorables · 11/07/2017 15:06

No one is objecting to using a black bin bag, though. They think it's daft that someone won't allow the nappy of a milk-fed baby in their outside bin under any circumstances. Obviously if it has to be in a black bag then you could just put it in one, although I would just take the bagged up nappy and put it in whatever bun I was likely to empty soon, which would be either the kitchen or bathroom one, as I have small bins for the precise reason of not wanting waste hanging about the flat for days.

Funnyface1 · 11/07/2017 15:13

My fil once made a fuss when my mil put my dd's slightly wee'd in nappy in the kitchen bin. I thought that was a bit rich when they have two cats who shit in a box in the corner of the living room.

phoenix1973 · 11/07/2017 15:22

Yanbu.
I always used to put them in outside bin. I also put used, bagged sanpro in the outside bin if I'm at someone else's house.

Kittenpoodiddy · 11/07/2017 18:01

Wow! Im sorry but what a rude and uncultured way for a guest to be treated! If someone comes to visit me I wouldn't care where they left the poopy diaper! I would throw it out in the bin after they left if they forgot to ask. And if they did ask, I would have offered to take it out to the bin myself as a proper host should. Sigh. People these days.

BasketOfDeplorables · 11/07/2017 18:27

I agree, Kitten. I think people are being courteous just to ask where I'd want the nappy. If they change the baby in the bathroom, I'd expect to find the nappy in the bathroom bin, and I can empty that bin into the outside one if I wish. If I was more concerned with my bins than how uncomfortable that may make a guest feel, then I don't think I'd bother having guests at all, especially ones who had traveled a fair drive with a baby to see me!