To expect to leave my dd's pooey nappy at friend's house?

[Lalunya85]

A while ago when DD was about 10 weeks old we went to see friends at their house for the day. They have two dds but they are older (11 and 4 at the time so out of nappies).

Our DD did a poo and we changed her St friend's house and put the dirty nappy in a nappy bag. I asked my friend's partner who was near me at the time what to do with the dirty nappy. She sort of laughed and said: "you're not going to leave that at My house!"

At first I thought this was a joke. It wasn't. Then I assumed she must mean to take it to the bin outside, but that wasn't what she meant either.

So we had to take the nappy home with us in the car. It was a 3 hour drive, if that makes a difference.

Obviously we got rid of the nappy at the first public bin that we saw, but aibu to think this is a really strange and unusual attitude?

Or am I so lost in baby parent world that I can't see how unreasonable it would be of me to expect my friend to throw my baby's nappy in her bin??

Give me your verdict.

I'm wondering how a pooey nappy could have ended up in the kitchen bin. I always changed nappies in the bathroom or somewhere out of sight. I would never have changed a nappy in the kitchen, let alone a pooey one.

I always did the nappy changing in those circumstances so this didn't arise for us. (My DH was happy to change nappies, I hasten to add!)

Sorry, I don't mean to add to your embarrassment!

The couple lives in a flat, so the kitchen leads on to the bathroom. He didn't change her nappy in the kitchen. That would have been beyond the pale!

I suspect he came out of the bathroom, poo bag in hand and then clocked the kitchen bin and thought "aha, that bin needs a big, smelly poo in it", or something.

Wilhelminaaa, how many people are in your house? Do you have a separate recycling bin?

Our general and recycling bins are collected alternate weeks so it is two weeks between them being emptied. We're a family of four and unless we are having a clearout we rarely get much more than half full with our general waste wheelie bin (and if we were having a clearout we'd probably take stuff straight to the tip). If you're filling a wheelie bin every week then maybe you need to look at how much 'stuff' you're consuming.

@Seenoevil, I understand now, but even so, I expect your DH hasn't lived that one down in your house?? Still, I suppose, at least he was willing to change a pooey nappy, I know some blokes would do anything to get out of that job.

WhatsThat

Only 3. Although we only have 1 small bin in the flat (studio), so it does fill up. No, we don't have separate recycling, we don't even have a wheelie bin. Everyone on our road just takes their bin bags (any colour, size, with whatever in it) out onto a designated spot by the lamp-posts and the bin men come every day to take them away. We often see people put broken furniture out there loose and they still get taken away.

This is just how it's been ever since I moved in last year. There's not a bin on site on the road, as it's a main road and all the properties are flats above shops, often multiple small flats above one shop.

So, there's not any room for wheelie bins. Now I think of it... Our building is 3 floors, with 12 flats. So you'd need 1 or 2 (if recylcling) wheelie bins for each flat out on the main high street, in front of one shop. Even just one per floor and that's still 3 (or 6 if recycling).

There would be no room on the street for all the people

Wilhelminaa, is that in the UK? Normally in flats you'd have big communal bins but I guess if it's an older property they wouldn't have bin stores etc. It certainly sounds like a good service of they are coming every day!

It certainly sounds like a good service of they are coming every day!

They come ever day or 2x day in really urban area like flats above shops on main street or shopping area.

My friend can put her bin bag out before 7am(!) for the 7am collection or after 10pm for a collection over night.

Yanbu .Really weird behaviour ,a bit pathetic and she doesn't sound very nice .Its a nappy with baby poo in,goes wrapped up outside in the wheelie bin ?!Why are they being so precious ?

I would have asked you to put it in the outside bin.

Haven't RTFT so this may have already been said but how rude that you travel 3 hours to see these people and they can't even let you put a wrapped nappy in an outside bin!? I wouldn't be friends with these people, can't be bothered with people I have to tiptoe around, especially after making a 3 hour journey to see them! So no, YADNBU?

*YADNBU!

I think YANBU but I do always take mine with me and don't even ask as it feels awkward but none of my friends have children yet!

I used cloth with mine so I always got/get grossed out when someone puts a sh!tty nappy in my bin as sposie users don't tend to flush poo. I don't as a rule take my waste bin out more than once a week because it doesn't smell (we use a food waste caddy) so if I forget to chuck it that night in the dustbin I am always greeted by the stench next time I open the bin, blurgh. Having said that, if I had an outdoor bin like a wheelie bin I wouldn't give a toss and tell them to stick in there.

We had family over last weekend 6 month old baby wasn't well & had nappy changed several times..parents put them in our outside wheelie bin, went to put the bins out for collection on tues & there were maggots everywhere inside May make them take their nappies home next time

I can understand that some people wouldn't want it in their house but outside in the wheelie bin? I don't know why that would be a problem! It was in a nappy bag. I mean I guess at the end of the day it's her house her rules but it is odd.

WhatsThat

London, but the more residential streets do have multiple bins. It's a very old property, no communal areas.

Gonna have a shock when we move away!

My brother left his baby's pooey nappy in our bathroom bin once. We don't have wheelie bins here, so it sat there smelling out the bathroom until next bin collection date. We put our own children in cloth nappies, so never had this issue, and really didn't appreciate it. So, yes, we'd have asked him to take it home if he'd have asked (which he didn't - just left us a nice little present).

I lived in a flat like yours, Wilhelminaaa. Also an old street in London, and we had no outside bins or recycling. It was a real faff taking the stuff to the recycling bins at Tesco, but I am much better at buying stuff without packaging now!

We don't have wheelie bins, and the bin men won't take away anything smaller than a standard bin liner

So when someone put shitty nappies straight in our outside bin without asking (like a PP suggested upthread) naming no names, SIL, you skanky cow they festered in the bottom for several months until I wondered what the smell was and then had to pick fetid rotting shitty nappies out of the bottom of the bin, bag them up in a bin bag and then put them back in the bin.

It is the last time she is coming to stay with us...

I would and have asked a friend to take a shitty nappy home. Mine were long out of nappies when she visited and even when they were in them it never occurred to me to do anything other than take them home to deal with.

I'll take being weird, rude and unreasonable over raw sewage in the bin (risking the dustmen refusing to collect) for a couple of weeks any time

It wouldn't even occur to me to ask, I'd have put it in the bathroom bin if it was wrapped.

Can't believe people would ruin a friendship over a bit of poo tbh.

That's just weird, she has kids so she's obviously dealt with dirty nappies before, don't understand why she wouldn't direct you to the wheelie bin outside to put it in there, asking you to take it with you is kinda rude IMO, I'd never ask anyone to do that!