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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to leave my dd's pooey nappy at friend's house?

271 replies

Lalunya85 · 10/07/2017 22:34

A while ago when DD was about 10 weeks old we went to see friends at their house for the day. They have two dds but they are older (11 and 4 at the time so out of nappies).

Our DD did a poo and we changed her St friend's house and put the dirty nappy in a nappy bag. I asked my friend's partner who was near me at the time what to do with the dirty nappy. She sort of laughed and said: "you're not going to leave that at My house!"

At first I thought this was a joke. It wasn't. Then I assumed she must mean to take it to the bin outside, but that wasn't what she meant either.

So we had to take the nappy home with us in the car. It was a 3 hour drive, if that makes a difference.

Obviously we got rid of the nappy at the first public bin that we saw, but aibu to think this is a really strange and unusual attitude?

Or am I so lost in baby parent world that I can't see how unreasonable it would be of me to expect my friend to throw my baby's nappy in her bin??

Give me your verdict. Smile

OP posts:
Oldraver · 10/07/2017 23:15

I would not want a poo-ey nappy in any of my bins, as I think poo should be flushed, not wrapped in plastic and binned.

But I realise I am totally weird about this stuff so would just smile and put the bag in the outside bin as I wouldn't want to make a guest feel awkward

NoSquirrels · 10/07/2017 23:17

In my experience of my own shitty-nappy fillers and those of my friends', everyone says "This is a bit stinky, where's your outside bin/shall I put it outside?" And then, depending on household rules & feelings about guests/how close friends they are, you direct them to the outside bin, or they do it automatically from last time, or you say "don't worry just put it in here (offer appropriate indoor bin) I'll take it out later."

No one ever had to take them home!
We used to get people at playgroup in church hall to do that, but as a guest in someone's house it's different.

DixieNormas · 10/07/2017 23:18

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VestalVirgin · 10/07/2017 23:20

Very odd.

Taking it to the outside bin, sure, it'd take up a lot of space inside. But telling you to take it home with you ... Confused

I would reduce contact with that person and only meet the friend at other places, alone.

She doesn't sound nice, and in my experience, when people do one small thing that seems weird, it is often symptomatic of them being utterly bonkers.

DixieNormas · 10/07/2017 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

angelikacpickles · 10/07/2017 23:21

I would not want a poo-ey nappy in any of my bins, as I think poo should be flushed, not wrapped in plastic and binned.

Fine for an older child, but how on earth does one flush a newborn's poo?

Osolea · 10/07/2017 23:21

Not everyone has outside bins, some councils use bags and people only have an outside bin for recycling because there's not enough rubbish created over a week to need one.

Are you sure she has a wheelie bin if you live that far away?

LeannePerrins · 10/07/2017 23:22

YANBU but the trick is to say, 'where's your outside bin?' whilst making for the back door, showing that you are willing and planning to remove it from the house altogether.

Inertia · 10/07/2017 23:23

How bizarre-IME it's generally accepted that the parents take the nappy to the outside wheelie bin, after checking.

Whenever we have babies to stay, we put an extra bin in the bathroom purely for nappies and then empty it each day,so that we don't have nappies in the kitchen bin.

Bunlicker · 10/07/2017 23:24

Doesn't rubbish need to be in black bin liners? I couldn't fill my wheels bin with poopy nappies, I don't think they would take it.

Op yanbu. Your friend is odd

GreeboIsACutePussPuss · 10/07/2017 23:24

YANBU, I can understand wanting you to take it to the outdoor bin, I am lazy only empty my bin once it's full (I have a food recycling pot so the normal bin has nothing smelly in it) and a nappy would stink the house out in this heat but who the fuck even cares whats in their wheelie bin?

OfficerVanHalen · 10/07/2017 23:27

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MeanAger · 10/07/2017 23:28

Hardly employing that she was just going to leave it in the house

She expected to put it in the inside bin in the house.

MimsyFluff · 10/07/2017 23:33

I am so going to do this to my sister "Mimsy put this in the bin" I'll look her in the eye and say "eww no you can take it back with you" and watch her face in disbelief Grin

rinabean · 10/07/2017 23:35

If you invite people into your house they will shit in your toilet and leave whatever rubbish they generate on a visit in your bins. That's really simple stuff.

I've heard of people doing it with used pads too. Absolutely ridiculous.

Even if you just don't like it, which is pathetic (I have OCD and it'd not bother me to this extent!) you don't tell your guest, it's not their problem! People shit! People piss! Women menstruate! Don't let them in your house if you don't want them to do that in your house!

DixieNormas · 10/07/2017 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kel1234 · 10/07/2017 23:39

I wouldn't have an issue with that personally.
I'd say put it in the bin and I'd just empty it later (once said guests had left so I didn't make them feel awkward about it). Even if the bin didn't need emptying I'd just do it.
We have a toddler and all nappies go in bags in the kitchen bin. They don't smell that much and the bin is regularly emptied anyway.

colacolaaddict · 10/07/2017 23:40

Bit unusual but tbh no weirder than "obviously having" to stop at the first public bin rather than share a car with a 10week old's nappy.

We did cloth nappies so the worst of it went down the loo (though I can't remember if we did this stage at 10 weeks) and rest came home in a bag. I have always secretly thought it's slightly intruding to foist your child's poo on your hosts rather than just flushing it away or taking it home, but when guests ask I have always told them to bung the wrapped dirty nappies outside the back door for me to deal with later.

slartibartfastsfjords · 10/07/2017 23:40

where we live,we have to put everything in black bags, then in the wheelie bin, they won't take loose rubbish. I've had problems in the past with people just dumping some rubbish in my wheelie bin on their way to or from our house (a bag of dog poo, I was wondering if it was some sort of nasty message from a neighbour I'd annoyed! - turned out to be a friend who popped round regularly with dog!).
So please do ask what they want you to do with it - don't just assume.

That said, expecting you to take it home is a bit odd and rude!

And to the PP who said they don't leave their poo at someone else's house - I'm curious about that - would they take that home in a bag too, rather than use the loo? Is there a whole world of poo etiquette that I've completely missed?!!

Bluebellsandsunflowers · 10/07/2017 23:41

How strange. I understand she may not want it in an inside bin, but I see no reason it couldn't have gone in the outside bin. What did she used to do when her children wore nappies, drive into town to put them in a public bin?

MsPassepartout · 10/07/2017 23:43

It's a bit weird not letting you put it in the outside wheelie bin, most people are fine with that.
Unless they live in an area without outside wheelie bins. It'd make a bit more sense then.

And yy to newborn poo being hard to flush. Baby poo is pretty liquid (and generally pretty inoffensive compared to adult poo) until weaning's started.

dinahmorris · 10/07/2017 23:44

Very weird. I don't have children, but even I know that dirty nappies go in the wheelie bin outside, they don't get taken home!

Xmasbaby11 · 10/07/2017 23:45

How weird! Its not even been that long since your friend's dcs were in nappies!

I offer to put mine straight in outside bin and that's what happens when friends come here.

MeanAger · 10/07/2017 23:47

And to the PP who said they don't leave their poo at someone else's house - I'm curious about that - would they take that home in a bag too, rather than use the loo?

Do you mean me?

PianoThirty · 10/07/2017 23:47

Our wheelie bin is bags only. You can't just put loose rubbish in there.