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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Battery Operated Friend

158 replies

slightlyinsanesam · 10/07/2017 14:11

Hi All...

I am hoping for some objectionable advice regarding my "friend". I enjoy sex and my husband and I have it around 3 times a week, however, I also enjoy using my vibrator on my own. Usually its early morning after my husband has gone to work and before the kids wake up, I find that it puts me in a good mood for the day!

A couple of months ago, I came home from work and my husband asked if I had used it, instantly, I said no (I am not ashamed, but I think of this as a private thing). He called me a liar and proceeded to make me listen to a recording of me using it. He "accidentally" left his phone at home on record??!! This has happened several times since to the point where I am scared to use it.

This morning, I have tried to phone him and had no answer so popped back home and lo and behold, his phone is tucked under the mattress. Probably recording but I have no way to check as I do not have his password.

AIBU to be angry about this or is it my fault for using it?

OP posts:
dudsville · 10/07/2017 14:13

Eugh! He can't do that. It's he disrespectful in other ways?

SoupDragon · 10/07/2017 14:13

Simply shout "Oy! Stop spying on me, control freak!"

Aquamarine1029 · 10/07/2017 14:14

Oh. My. God. Your husband is an absolute asshole. How DARE HE violate your privacy like this! I'm married, and I know marriage is a lot of hard work, but this would be the END for me. This is completely unacceptable and inexcusable. Who in the FUCK does he think he is?? This is ABUSIVE.

Angeldt · 10/07/2017 14:15

Put it in a glass of water on his bedside cabinet.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/07/2017 14:15

And another thing, I would take a hammer to that goddamned phone.

Isadora2007 · 10/07/2017 14:16

Why can't you just talk about it?

Madbum · 10/07/2017 14:17

Eurgh! What the fuck is wrong with him? Did he tell you why he's recording? Actually it doesn't matter it's not normal he's controlling and or perverted, can you really stay married to a man like that?

OrangeSeville · 10/07/2017 14:17

Oh my god. That is bloody weird. And to do it more than once?? And then to keep on doing once you knew? Fuck man that's a massive invasion of privacy.

eternalopt · 10/07/2017 14:17

Wtf? That's all sorts of wrong (the recording, not the use of a BOF (battery operated friend!)). Would not be happy about that and would be uttering some very choice words into that phone!

Notreallyarsed · 10/07/2017 14:17

He's recording you when you're at home alone? That's very, very creepy. XH used to do that to me, leave dictaphones running in the house so he could check up on me. He was an abusive bastard in many ways, but that put the tin lid on it for me.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/07/2017 14:18

I know I'm worked up, but honestly op, this is horrible. He has no respect for you in doing this. And then to humiliate you by playing the recording of you masturbating?! This is beyond disgusting.

valeriarrgh · 10/07/2017 14:23

Nope. That is creepy and just plain wrong. You have every right to be VERY pissed off.

ToothTrauma · 10/07/2017 14:24

What the fuck is wrong with him? This is appalling. I could not trust a man who did this to me.

pancake360 · 10/07/2017 14:29

Just wondering, what would his reaction be if you just said 'yeah, I do this'. Would he be angry / jealous? Or maybe he finds it a turn on? Is he feeling insecure cus your having fun without him? It's really odd that he would need to record you, he knows you've got a toy, what does he think you're gonna do with it? How would he like it if you recording him having a bit of 'private time'. Hope you sort it out and can talk to him normally about it xx

Assburgers · 10/07/2017 14:40

How loud are you that you can be heard through a mattress. It's like an x-rated version of the princess & the pea Hmm

RideOn · 10/07/2017 14:51

Why are you lying about this? Or maybe . . . why do you feel you need to lie?

Branleuse · 10/07/2017 14:53

He's completely out of order. It's none of his damn business

BenjaminLinus · 10/07/2017 14:53

Why don't you change the sheets today and 'accidently' wash it.

kellogssquareofkrispierice · 10/07/2017 14:53

What a fucking weirdo. I agree with the PP who said to 'accidentally' wash his phone

gamerchick · 10/07/2017 14:54

He's a creepy cunt and you can quote me.

I don't understand why you haven't dealt with this though. Phone down the toilet to yanno, start the conversation off. Confused

MissionItsPossible · 10/07/2017 14:55

Is today National Vibrator Day or something? why so many threads all of a sudden

SleepFreeZone · 10/07/2017 14:55

Errrm, what?

Rumtopf · 10/07/2017 14:56

I think his phone should "accidentally" get caught up in the sheets and put through a 60C wash and fast spin.

Is he controlling in other ways?!

Frouby · 10/07/2017 14:56

I would get some shit hot batteries and leave your vibe next to his phone until the batteries ran flat. Or get a really loud whistle and record that.

Creepy fucker.

WeirdAndPissedOff · 10/07/2017 14:59

I was expecting you to say simply that DH was uncomfortable with you using a vibratory - in which case I'd have said talk to him, but YANBU and are definitely not doing anything wrong by using one.

Bur he's recording you at home? That is NEVER ok! And the fact that he's done it multiple times, and continues to do so us quite worrying.
That's what you need to get to the bottom of first, IMO.