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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Battery Operated Friend

158 replies

slightlyinsanesam · 10/07/2017 14:11

Hi All...

I am hoping for some objectionable advice regarding my "friend". I enjoy sex and my husband and I have it around 3 times a week, however, I also enjoy using my vibrator on my own. Usually its early morning after my husband has gone to work and before the kids wake up, I find that it puts me in a good mood for the day!

A couple of months ago, I came home from work and my husband asked if I had used it, instantly, I said no (I am not ashamed, but I think of this as a private thing). He called me a liar and proceeded to make me listen to a recording of me using it. He "accidentally" left his phone at home on record??!! This has happened several times since to the point where I am scared to use it.

This morning, I have tried to phone him and had no answer so popped back home and lo and behold, his phone is tucked under the mattress. Probably recording but I have no way to check as I do not have his password.

AIBU to be angry about this or is it my fault for using it?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 10/07/2017 15:00

What the actual fuck does he think he's doing?

breadandhoney1 · 10/07/2017 15:00

I would put it in a cup of water and destroy it then hair dry and place back to where he's left it.
Then I would deny any accusations you've done something.
My h regularly used find my iPhone to check up on me. It took someone else to point out how strange that is.
It's not normal. It's not ok. Use the knowledge you hold and put a stop to it

SmileEachDay · 10/07/2017 15:03

I'm giggling at "objectionable advice"

This isn't real, right?

Teutonic · 10/07/2017 15:09

In your creepiest whisper, whisper something into the phone, but not clear enough for him to decipher what's been said.
Or
Go solo with your vibe while making the most porno style noise you can.

Do this daily. If he asks about the whispering, tell him that you have no idea what he's on about.
If he asks about the solo noises, just reply...' yeah, it was sooo fucking good, and? While giving a shrug.

Play him at his own game.

BartholinsSister · 10/07/2017 15:11

What kind of phone is it? It must have a good battery life to be recording all day while he's at work. Presumably he spends all evening with his headphones on listening to it, waiting for the tell-tale sounds. He must be obsessed.

Pru24 · 10/07/2017 15:12

Its obviously an issue for him, have u tried talking to him about it? Xxxx

MamaHanji · 10/07/2017 15:17

YANBU for being angry about this!

You should be able to crack one out in peace without judgement and invasion of privacy in your own bloody home.

Also 3 times a week is a very healthy sex life, so why on earth should it bother him? It's not like you are choosing your 'friend' over him.

I'm sorry but I would leave his phone in a glass of water and make it clear in no uncertain terms, if he EVER invaded my privacy like that again, he would be out the door.

FinallyHere · 10/07/2017 15:25

Ex used to get jealous and hide mine.

It wasn't by itself the main reason he became my ex but it was all a part of the same stuff.

EdmundCleverClogs · 10/07/2017 15:31
Hmm

Why would he need to record you using it and get angry? You said you're not ashamed of having it, seems bizarre he would get cross about you using something he knows you would use. I mean, why not hide the actual vibrator, or just say straight 'I don't like you using it'. This is very odd...

Original poster
slightlyinsanesam · 10/07/2017 15:34

Smile Each Day: My bad, swear away!

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 10/07/2017 15:34

And why can't you just masturbate in a different room???

Original poster
slightlyinsanesam · 10/07/2017 15:40

We are having other issues, he has become incredibly jealous over the last year. I learnt to drive, got a better job and have started to become more of the real me. I am trying to be patient but this has really got my goat! Such a silly thing but I feel like I now have no privacy and his behaviour infers that I have no right to privacy. I am spitting mad right now!

OP posts:
Original poster
slightlyinsanesam · 10/07/2017 15:43

Assburgers: Usually its left under his pillow, today was mattress. Not loud enough to wake a 13 yo and 10 yo, put it that way!!!!

OP posts:
ethanrayne · 10/07/2017 15:46

teutonic that had me crying with laughter.

OP creepy and wrong.

Florene · 10/07/2017 15:46

Seriously, wash the bedding with phone. 90 degrees should do it.

GlitteryFluff · 10/07/2017 15:55

That's not ok. Your DH is being so unreasonable.

RortyCrankle · 10/07/2017 16:08

What an utter creep. Sex would be off the menu until I got an apology and assurance that he understands how fucking disgraceful his behaviour is and an assurance of not repeating.

Brittbugs80 · 10/07/2017 17:33

I'd pretend to him you didn't find the phone and then take it and watch him panic as he looks for it. I also wouldn't give it back and try and get it unlocked but that's just me!

Why is he so bothered if you are using it?

RebelRogue · 10/07/2017 17:51

So he doesn't use/need his phone while at work at all? Do you not text/speak at all during the day?

chips4teaplease · 10/07/2017 17:55

I would take a hammer to that goddamned phone
Misread as 'hamster'.

NaiceToMeetYou · 10/07/2017 18:00

I'd put some porn on and let it record that, put the shits up the creepy fucker.

BeepBeepMOVE · 10/07/2017 18:00

That would be the end or me. He obviously doesn't trust you and you are having to keep masturbating a secret. Sounds like a shitty relationship.

SaucyJack · 10/07/2017 18:03

Call out his brother/best mate's name when you climax.

Foslady · 10/07/2017 18:36

Sounds like he's not able to cope with you moving forwards with life and maybe feels as if you've replaced him now with your vibe.

Still not acceptable - and hardly going to want you to help him get through his issue...

Original poster
slightlyinsanesam · 10/07/2017 18:54

Well I put the phone back. He called me at 4.30pm (when he got home) and said he had left it in his bag at work, I said nothing. I have come home to find him in a foul mood so can only assume the sound of me lifting the mattress has been heard. I'm going to see if he fesses up to leaving it here but I shouldn't think he will considering that exposes his lie.
Why can't life ever be easy 😞

OP posts: