For making DP's sister's come and pick up their children?

[Boggysib]

We were on holiday and visiting points of interest. DP is from the area - we live two hours away and were staying in an hotel along with our kids aged 6 and 1.

We arrived at a certain historical place and were trekking over to its play area. We were about to eat our picnic when it became apparent that our niece (3) and nephews (5 & 2) had been left with us to look at after as only DP's mum arrived.

Both dp and I were BUSY taking turns with the 1 year old.

DP's mum and was chasing after the 3yo while the 2yo was restrained in his buggy the whole time (2 hours or so). He doesn't get let out anywhere. He is a handful and tends to hit other children. I did not feel comfortable letting him loose. He got no interaction the whole time we were at the play area. I gave him a banana and topped up his water bottle.

So it turns out DP's sister's were away - one getting hair done, other cleaning house.

I messaged them both saying one of your children has been abandoned, the other being chased by your mum so she hasn't had a the chance to eat her lunch. I didn't come on holiday for this.....

We didn't get to to do what we had planned that day because we had to babysit their children. They obviously cannot be bothered with their children and dump them on DP's mum at any opportunity.

Wibu for thinking we shouldn't have been put in that position?

People who think "oh well it's not that difficult" are entitled. No one on here suggested they would do the same as the SILs. Just that it's not as big a deal as the OP is making out. Fair enough saying "don't leave MIL with three kids again, it's too much and we were run ragged helping on top of our two" but that's all this situation merited imo. But it sounds like the SILs aren't coping that well either - it wouldn't have killed the OP to muck in a bit for the sake of giving the kids a nice day.

I suspect that MIL thought it would be nice. It wasn't, you live and learn but that's it.

But why is the OP then being unreasonable to say, essentially, "That wasn't good and I'm not doing that again"?

Yes exactly longest

The environment didn't help either. It turned out to be unsuitable for the younger ones (flying foxes, steep hills, hazardous for wee ones).

The youngest nephew is always restrained in public places. My 6yo was off playing with 5yo nephew. 3yo niece was wanting to follow them everywhere and tantrumming over not getting to do this.

My 1yo was a clinging to me due to being unwell (she had deteriorated by teatime - vomiting etc).

DP's mum obviously has issues with saying no to her daughters.

I think that I will have not helped this bad situation at all.

The op decided to keep a 2 year old restrained in his buggy for the whole 2 hours.

I read that in the op.

Who would be so horrible as to leave a toddler watching everyone else in the group running about and having fun while they aren't allowed out!

That was the op choice from the op.

it wouldn't have killed the OP to muck in a bit for the sake of giving the kids a nice day.

Obviously it wouldn't. But she didn't want to. It wasn't her choice - and the choice wasn't offered to her. And not because of any emergency, or extenuating circumstances, but because her SILs didn't want to "muck in to give their own kids a nice day". I think the OP did well to call them out on it, to be honest, rather than just silently seething later.

But why is the OP then being unreasonable to say, essentially, "That wasn't good and I'm not doing that again"?

She didn't do that. Instead she sent arsey texts during the day and made comments about the women not parenting their children properly in her op.

I think she doesn't like the SILs or their kids and was deliberately not playing with or interacting with them.

Which is her choice. But I think

Her DP should be sending the shitty texts and stepping up
She doesn't like the kids
She doesn't like the SILs
She judges them for being single parents. And thereby hangs the whole tale.

...but, Increasingly, why was she unreasonable to say, "This isn't good and I'm not doing it now...and I think your mum needs help looking after your children"? If she's left with the children without being consulted and in circumstances she would not have chosen, then I think she's quite entitled to judge the parents for doing that.

So the 5yo and 6yo were happily playing together with minimal needs leaving you to sort the 1yo, mil to look after the 3yo and your dh could have taken care of the 2yo.

I can't believe anyone's judging OP here - did you not read the bit where her SIL was sitting alone in her car the whole time?? In the bloody car park! How lazy can you get?!

OP I think you need to get your DP to step in here, they're his family and so his responsibility to deal with. Also I think you were right not to enable your SILs' selfish behaviour.

It's a huge deal. And it spoilt the day out for op by the sounds of it.
It's entitled.
Mil assumed op wouldn't mind. She did.
Quite right to send texts to sil.
Reminds me of "it wouldn't hurt you to muck in and help me with childcare for six weeks " variation of a theme.

...but her kids are 6 and 1. Why should her DH, without prior agreement, have the 2 year old. He would have preferred to spend time with his mum and his own kids. It's the fact that they weren't asked upfront and their participation and help was required.

Why should OP not concentrate on her oen children, so she can sprnd her time looking after someone else's? She is on holiday - she wants to spend quality time with her own dc, have a nice lunch and chill. She didn't agree to look after 3 extra kids.
Agree that mil needs to find her voice and say no, but the reality for OP, when mil cannot cope is that she and her dh have to do it.
I think it's great that instead of just sucking it up, she told the sil's to collect their kids.

I'll admit I can't handle the children. It was horrible leaving the 2yo in the buggy but if I had let him loose, then what? He started laying into my one year old the previous day and in an open space I think he'd just run off and most likely hurt himself.

Why can't the OP's DP text his sisters?

His family, his responsibility, surely?

Reminds me of "it wouldn't hurt you to muck in and help me with childcare for six weeks " variation of a theme.

Yes! Me too! Not as extreme, obviously, but I think the principle is much the same.

So didn't your DP have a problem with it, or can't he work a phone?

By being single mums I mean they rely heavily on DP's mum for childcare.

And yes I am judging them absolutely. I feel for the children but perhaps I'm wrong in doing so.

The OP has a nasty undertone to it Natalia. I am assertive, people don't take advantage of me but I would not have dealt with it in that way. I'd have coped for the day, let that poor 2yo out and said after 'it was lovely for the dc to get together but it. was bloody hard work and we need to now for the rest of week'.

No drama, no nastiness.

I think the sisters and MIL probably figured that she'd be fine with all 3 as you and your DP were there too. However it was still cheeky of them to just assume you'd be happy to watch their kids for them so they could get their hair done/sit in the car (wtf?). Yes, it would be nice for the cousins to see one another, but as a whole family day out with the sisters accompanying their own kids! Does MIL often have all 3 of them on her own?

Dp phoned the sister at the hair dressers to find out when she was coming back.

You don't feel that bloody much for the children or you'd have let the two year old out of his bloody buggy.

Why aren't you judging the fathers of these children boggy or do you see parenting as primarily a woman's job?