14 year old son wanted to go to a pride event today, DH says he was too young! Was he BU?

[ChangingThatName]

Is DH being unreasonable?

Our 14 year old asked me if we could go to a pride event today. My DH quickly interrupted with a 'definitely not' and tbh, I didn't see much of an issue with it, but then began to wonder. Is he a bit too young to go to a pride event? Was DH being unreasonable?

actually considering the way this thread is going fritz may be a good diversion.
its about a 14 yr old boy .not god not your religion.
just a boy who is probably a least curious.
better to let him get answers than think he has to hide the curiousity.
or maybe he just wants to hang with his friends.

He was being unreasonable. Why the hell should your son not have gone???

Silently if you want all inclusion, then that means pride having straight people at it.You can't pick and choose.

You're quite right, as part of the LGBTQ* community, I can't pick and choose, I only get one day a year to celebrate my difference. What I'd like is for heterosexuals to show a tiny bit of sensitivity and to exclude themselves.

@Toysarus...I get fed up to fuck with having to educate people about disability access all the time. It's tiring and frustrating.

This, this exactly. Straight folks turning up at Pride is the equlivant of showing my support for disabled access by parking in a blue badge space, imagining that it makes me anything but an entitled arsehole and expecting some kind of pat on the back.

We took our five year old to London Pride. He had a ball wearing a rainbow garland dancing with a drag queen on Archer Street (whose legs were taller than me), and the place was rammed with kids.

@SilentlyScreamingAgain

You want heteros to not attend 'PRIDE?' And it pisses you off that they do?

How dare you? Me, and 12 other people went to Birmingham pride in Birmingham, only 5 of them gay. It didn't bother them! Why should we stay away? Why??? You have no right demanding we don't come, and it's discrimination to say you don't want heteros there.

It's called PRIDE now, not GAY PRIDE.

Or did you not know that?

He was unreasonable to shut it down without discussion. His concerns may be legitimate, but there's no way to know.

Yes!!

DD has been going since she was a toddler, ours even has family areas.

Tell your DH to lighten up & take him to the Brighton one at the beginning of August

It's called PRIDE now, not GAY PRIDE.

It's called Pride now because sticking LGBTQ in front of it, is a bit of a tongue twister and no one is sure how to pronounce the little star, not because it's for straight people. If you actually imagine that you have more right to be there than a member of the LGBTQ community, then that's an amazing example of entitled behaviour.

@silentlyscreamingagain just to be clear you want no heterosexual at all at pride. No police, ambulances, fire brigade that are straight

Absolutely ridiculous, that's like me saying I don't want gay, trans or black people.

silentlyscreamingagain just to be clear you want no heterosexual at all at pride. No police, ambulances, fire brigade that are straight

No, what I've actually said is that I don't want so many straight people there that LGBTQ* people are excluded or the event is so diluted, as to become meaningless.

I'd also like straight people to appreciate, just for that day, that they are tourists and to behave with a little more respect and a little less entitlement.

I don't go to these sorts of events because I don't like crowds. Can someone explain the notion of there not being enough room for people to march? If it's due to some sort of limit being placed on the number of people permitted to march, it seems like the answer is to just allow more people to march.

A heterosexual wedding isn't like a pride event and vice versa. And a gay wedding isn't like a pride event either.

I think your dh was being unreasonable to say no without discussion but I think it is fair enough for your dh to have a view on this and to express it. It would have been better to discuss things.

Some aspects of the pride march may have been more appropriate than others, one lesbian friend was telling me about some fairly un-family friendly aspects and I also know a transsexual woman who says the events can be very 'sexualized' and she doesn't want to attend.

Camomila's description doesn't make it sound like her local one is very family friendly one....very loud, lots of drunk people, people doing legal highs..."

Agree with Lozzy5790 as a parent I would want to know why they wanted to attend, if they are gay or are feeling confused/exploring sexuality etc then your dh's reaction will make this very hard for him to do.

Hope all will be well.

Absolutely ridiculous, that's like me saying I don't want gay, trans or black people.

The other thing that I'd like is for people to appreciate that gay, trans and black (and disabled) people do spend a disproportionate amount of time being excluded. For gay people, Pride is the one day of the year when this doesn't happen, that having the experience of, for example, being able to kiss their partner without checking who is watching first, is still only possible in very limited circumstances and those situations need to be preserved.

Gay pubs in London are closing at an alarming rate, I think that there are now 50% less than there were 10 years ago because of property prices and business rates. We have less space than we had, not more.

That I'm even having to argue that Pride should be for, and about, the LGBTQ* community should be all the proof needed, that it's still required.

20 years ago my dd and I accidentally ended up in mtl during their pride parade.
it was totally inappropriate; oiled bodies, leather jock straps, randy behavior.
certainly not comparable to a wedding, the macy's thanksgiving parade or even a body building competition.

@SilentlyScreamingAgain I've heard your argument more recently. And I wonder if it's because times have changed so much. I went to Pride in London in the 1980s (invited by gay friends and I hosted the après Pride party) and it was seen as solidarity in the face of all the awful shit that was going on at the time. Pride, as well as being a laugh, was very political.

The last Pride I was at was last year, by accident, in Canada. I was at a conference and happened to be staying in a hotel on the march route. It did seen more like mardi gras. Lots of people waving flags and wearing rainbows, which is lovely but I do see your point. It seemed more like a fun day out than a political act.

But then, is that a good thing?

I am also a proud gay women Silently and to me Afraid is homophobic but she has been cordial and measured in her tone and to AS her and berate her on her own life is wrong. We will not change minds by attacking our adversaries and shouting them down . We need to give people the space to raise their concerns so we challenge and educate them in a positive and proactive way.

SilentlyScreamingAgain "What I'd like is for heterosexuals to show a tiny bit of sensitivity and to exclude themselves." That's a weird argument. I've never heard anyone say that before. How do you know who the straight ones are! Imagine if I made the same argument for an event.

How does having straight people there 'dilute' things? What if supposedly straight people (in heterosexual relationships) are actually bisexual?

Anyway, I've no trouble staying away from pride, I hate crowds, but I just have never heard this argument before. I had always felt straight people attending would be considered 'allies'.

@MrsTerryPratchet, Pride has always been lots of things to lots of people. The political aspect is important but it's also important to have a tiny bit of time for the gays to let their hair down in public.

I can promise you that still, on most night, in most of London, two men kissing has the potential to lead to a violent reaction. People are still beaten for their sexuality on a daily basis. The one day when you can openly hold your partner's hand, still really means something.

As you can see from the replies on this thread, a scantily dressed man, is still a cause for alarm for some, something that children should be hidden from but only in a homosexual context. We see heterosexuals celebrating their sexuality all the time, it's even used to sell us every conceivable type of consumer durable and no on bats an eyelid.

The fight for equality isn't over. Gay and trans teenagers are still killing themselves at an alarming rate. We still need the political aspect of Pride, just as much as we need a day when we can kiss in the street.

AFRAID
" I now have the difficult task of dealing with a preteen who thinks he's gay"
AND "My husband made a mistake" meaning having his son.....

Wow.... Just wow!!!

And as for asking straight people to exclude themselves - utter ridiculousness. What about all the people that come who are in the closet to get a chance to socialise with others and see it is perfectly normal? What should they do?

@KindleBueno, you have every right to fight your own battles in your own way but I'm not engaging with a woman who allows a child to be abused in her care without calling her out on her hypocrisy. I don't need or want the support of anyone like that.

I'm not gay or bi.But to me inclusion should mean that.Otherwise you excluding people cause they're straight is no different than them excluding you cause your gay.

If you're not willing to engage with people, how do you expect to change their minds?

The two previous posters who think that self exclusions is such a crazy ask, do you exclude yourself from blue badge parking spaces, accessible bathrooms or the seats nearest the doors on buses?

Why is it such a ridiculous idea to understand that some people have a greater need of a facility than others don't most decent people understand and respect that?