14 year old son wanted to go to a pride event today, DH says he was too young! Was he BU?

[ChangingThatName]

Is DH being unreasonable?

Our 14 year old asked me if we could go to a pride event today. My DH quickly interrupted with a 'definitely not' and tbh, I didn't see much of an issue with it, but then began to wonder. Is he a bit too young to go to a pride event? Was DH being unreasonable?

Afriad there shouldn't be people like you in the world. Why do people think it's fine for boys and girls to have a crush but all of a sudden if the same ages child says they think they're gay, they all of a sudden are too young to know.

I thought Pride incorporated much more than The Gays?? In any case, there were plenty of gay parents there with their children.

TOTALLY agree TheBeast

I think it's acceptable for the children of gay or trans parents to go to Pride with their parents, but not unaccompanied 14 year olds.

But to answer your question I don't think your DH was BU. I'll be in the minirity I know.

I think 14 years old is too young to go to this event. I am not sure exactly what happens during this event and would hesitate to let a child of 14 go to an event which focuses on sexuality.

I thought Pride incorporated much more than The Gays??

Yes, to the point where there isn't enough room or time for trans and gay people to actually march. We've been pushed out of our own parade by those who imagine they have more right to be there than we have.

Right you seriously think having a different opinion to you means I shouldn't exist?!

And a crush is different from deciding on your sexuality at such a young age.

Not to mention as a Christian it goes against my values.

I thought "Love thy neighbour" was a Christian value? I don't remember reading the caveat "Love thy neighbour unless they love a bit of bumsex".

I think there are things there children shouldn't see.

Yeah see I'm not comfortable with the idea of my daughter walking into a building and seeing a giant effigy of a half-naked bloke nailed through the hands to a cross. You're right, there are some things kids just shouldn't see.

Afraid, of course you should have the right to exist but many Christian views are unsavoury and Christians do have an awful habit of pushing those views onto young children before they are old enough to make up their minds for themselves.

It's find to be Christian but keep it away from the kiddies.

If you are worried about nudity I'm really unsure how you can defend Pride where you see people in many different states of dress/undress. Regardless I'm not going to argue about it. I know Christianity isn't much loved here. I don't think you have to be Christian to not want your impressionable child going to an event all about sexuality right? I now have the difficult task of dealing with a preteen who thinks he's gay.

Silently, I'm curious about how you feel pushed out. Could you explain? You don't have to. I'm not asking in a judgemental way.

Many events are family friendly, parades are great etc . However there is an element that isn't appropriate for children. Last year a mother was posting pictures of her dd (maybe about 8 our 9 years old) at our local pride event. Most pictures were lovely but there were a few of her dd posing with various people (mostly men) in full on bondage wear. We're talking full on Gimp suit with gag and similar. It really wasn't appropriate.

So I'd say it's fine as long as a responsible adult goes with him.

Afraid so what if your preteen is gay. He's still the same person.

afraid, my mum had your attitude. It did untold damage to me and to our relationship. We barely speak now.

Oh, plus I'm in a heterosexual marriage and can't end that without destroying a family...and my lovely dh who doesn't deserve it. And I've lost the chance to ever have a full and proper relationship, I will never fully live.

Wake up, do you really want to do this to your dss?

It's not a different opinion, it's prejudice and emotional abuse.

@twelly At most Pride events the LGBTQ+ community usually focus on being proud of who they are and celebrate themselves and their community rather than focus on actual sex.
These events are more about love and acceptance, and if anything they often welcome younger people to join in the celebration with them. The younger generations are usually more accepting and more open to listen to their message of love and wanting to be treated like any other member of society.

I understand you would not be aware of this as you say you've never been to such an event, but perhaps next time attend a pride celebration most local to you before you make assumptions on what they are about.

Oh, I'm a Christian by the way.

It is an interesting discussion that is going on in this thread over who has the right to their views , the answer is both. We live in a world where people can express their views and a civilised society where we should be able to express these views and coexist. Stating that people shouldn't exist is intolerant.

My ds 15 went up to London today with his friend to go to pride, he had a great time and it was important for him to fell able to go.

However he goes to London regularly with friends and is nearing 6ft, built like a brick shithouse and very street smart.

If he was happy for you guts to be with him (if you didn't want him to go alone) I see no issue.
Maybe look for local pride events.

If you are worried about nudity I'm really unsure how you can defend Pride where you see people in many different states of dress/undress.

Because those people won't teach her to be intolerant and homophobic :) hope that helps.

I don't think you have to be Christian to not want your impressionable child going to an event all about sexuality right?

When you take your children to straight weddings, do you have a good long chat about the sexual nature of the vows beforehand or do you think that relationships are about a bit more than sexuality? If it's the latter, why do you think that gay relationships are any different? Can you see why your attitude would be offensive to a gay person? Do you feel that you're a bigot?

i understand the being usurped by non gays part.but if heteros arent a part how do you fight homophobia?
first nation practices(pow wows for one) have been usurped by everyone so i get it.
but if we dont try to educate ,we lose too.

i think a 14 yr old should have an older person with him.not just for safety sake but in case he/she is overwhelmed by it all.

allow Im sorry to hear that. Is there anything your mum could have said or done to make the relationship better even if she couldn't change her views?

I'm interested because I do love DSS and want him to have a good relationship with us. But I can't just change my views.

I now have the difficult task of dealing with a preteen who thinks he's gay.

My mum has one bi kid, one gay (well it's more complicated but let's stick at gay for the purposes of the thread) kid and one straight kid. She seems to have coped with relative ease.

It's only difficult if you make it difficult.

twelly - so a poster said there shouldn't be intolerant people, but you say it's wrong to say that because that's intolerant.

I'm scratching my head a little here.