14 year old son wanted to go to a pride event today, DH says he was too young! Was he BU?

[ChangingThatName]

Is DH being unreasonable?

Our 14 year old asked me if we could go to a pride event today. My DH quickly interrupted with a 'definitely not' and tbh, I didn't see much of an issue with it, but then began to wonder. Is he a bit too young to go to a pride event? Was DH being unreasonable?

He almost an adult so time to start cutting him some slack and soak up experiences with you holding his hand. He may be trying to tell you something or just be curious. Telling him no is asking for an argument. I suspect your DH's response is just saying he's not ready for a gay child but that's your husband's problem.
I wish you well.

Davros yes DW reference. Same as yours

DH was born 1961.....he's an old fart

Why did he not want your DS to go? I took my ten year old and he had a marvellous time on the parade.

Is it about crowds and safety or what?

He is BVU for not even discussing. After that it depends on which event and whether he was going alone.

Some Pride events are very family friendly, others as PP have said, are more drinking affairs and may be less good experiences for younger attendees. Most IME are friendly - we went with kids to London Pride events when they were this age and they loved them

Lozzy- there's definitely all types of pride events out there. In my local major city, there might be a tent for small children but there would be a whole lot of other stuff going on too. A 14yo is highly unlikely to go to a pride event for the craft tent. You can't say if dh wbu because we don't know if the pride event was small, local and family friendly or a biggie in a major city where, unfortunately, just because it's a pride event doesn't mean all antisocial, criminal and undesirable behaviours (from a minority of the thousands who attend) are suspended for the day because Pride.

Too young? Our local Pride Procession is the first in the country in which every secondary school took part, it was brilliant.

We take our (primary age) children and they mainly scavenge free balloons, go on the funfair rides and get to pretend to drive a police car. We even take the dog, who gets a lot of attention.

I don't think that Pride will turn my children gay. The dog is pansexual so that ship's sailed.

If he wanted to go with mates & watch the parade then fine. It's a carnival & celebration of homosexuality, some tame some not. But he's probably seen worse on YouTube.

However 14 is too young for the 'after party' bit, whether it's the Brighton street party or in a club in London.

Your DH was BU however for not discussing it properly.

He's almost an adult!? What!? He's 14...? He's as close to being in primary school

Pride is full of children!

The OP said "he asked if we could go"...........

I took my 9mth old. He didn't catch gay. Or if he did he's not come out yet. Someone even gave him a rainbow flower garland.

And it's not a celebration of homosexuality. It's a protest against homophobia.

Your husband is being unreasonable.

Your DH not wanting his 14 year old child go to a busy parade without an adult isn't unreasonable as a premise.

However failing to have a reasonable conversation about why and when your DS will be allowed to attend an event that size is unreasonable behaviour that sounds an awful lot like homophobia rather than parental nervousness about large crowds and teenage immortality syndrome.

Gosh. Has she never been to a wedding? Or a ballet?

You don't usually see people in BDSM wear at weddings or ballets.

Not the weddings I attended, anyway. Not sure what a ballet has to do with heterosexuality.

Might depend on the kind of pride event; if it is one where everyone is asked to be fully clothed, but the photos I have seen at least show that this cannot be expected.

OP's husband was unreasonable for saying no without any explanation, but might have a point.

Depends on where he lives. If he's in Edinburgh and it's a 5 hour train journey alone then no. If it's a 10 minute bus rise with his friends and they promise to be home for dinner then wh not

Yes he was being unreasonable! Hell I started going to Notting hill carnival with my friends when I was about 14 and pride to me is like a gay carnival, its practically a huge street party and lots of fun. I hope your husband agrees to let him go next year!

Depends which one. My local Pride is very small, seriously rough and centred around getting pissed and/or half naked in public in the middle of the day. I used to work nearby so saw the chaos every year. Now I have the choice, I stay well away from town on Pride day but I've been to one of the big city parades and that was great.

I think the problem with your dh is that your ds wanted to go. Is he worried your ds is gay or curious.

DD went last year with several fellow yr9 kids (no adult chaperones). It never crossed my mind this could be remotely bad thing. She enjoyed the day very much. They finished about 3pm, shattered by then.

If it's because of the gay aspect he's unreasonable.

However, I've been to lots of Prides and there is a lot of drinking and rowdy crowds that I wouldn't be comfortable with an unstreetwise teen attending. A teen who is streetwise and trustworthy, maybe. But I've seen hordes of teens at a couple of Prides puking and lying on the ground. I saw one girl lying with shit all down her legs, out cold. That particular Pride tightened up their drinking & ticket entry policies the year after, but it's definitely a problem in some places.

So if it's because of that kind of thing, he's got a point.

If I'm totally honest I was a bit freaked when I went - I am in no way homophobic but there were too many people with dog masks on leads. I'm with your dh.

CadnoDrwg "Your DH not wanting his 14 year old child go to a busy parade without an adult isn't unreasonable as a premise."

The OP said "Our 14 year old asked me if we could go to a pride event today." How the hell does a 14 yr old asking his parents if we could go to a pride event = going without an adult?

It's an event celebrating sexuality, but he isn't old enough to be having legal sex. On that basis, I would say too young. I wouldn't let my daughter at 14 attend an event celebrating heterosexual sex. It's not appropriate for kids

Umm, no it's not. I do hope you are not sharing your misinformation.

And yes, someone mentioned weddings where, no matter what the attire, heterosexual sex is celebrated. Please tell me you'd keep your precious petal/s away from such craziness.

Good Lord, isn't it bad enough that Pride is riddled with heterosexuals without sending your children's along too?

I know it's not trendy to say mention that straight people get 364 days of the year but really, they do, show some small degree in sensitivity and leave Pride to the gays. Please.

Silently how do you know this 14 year old isn't gay?

I think there are things there children shouldn't see. I'm a bit annoyed it gets so much coverage when there are elements that are unsavoury. Not to mention as a Christian it goes against my values.

I'm sure this an effect on children thinking they are gay. Unsurprisingly today was the day DSS told me he thinks he's gay. He is only 12 and doesn't even look like he's pubescent