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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

14 year old son wanted to go to a pride event today, DH says he was too young! Was he BU?

235 replies

ChangingThatName · 08/07/2017 22:08

Is DH being unreasonable?

Our 14 year old asked me if we could go to a pride event today. My DH quickly interrupted with a 'definitely not' and tbh, I didn't see much of an issue with it, but then began to wonder. Is he a bit too young to go to a pride event? Was DH being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Dee2B · 14/06/2019 23:30

Marriage is not just about sex, it's a commitment! However, a sexual relationship is not necessarily a lifelong commitment. So for those who don't want to expose their young teens to the latter at that age, are making a fair choice !

FrancisCrawford · 14/06/2019 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklesocks · 15/06/2019 00:01

Dee2B thanks for resurrecting a 2 year old thread just to preach your outdated ideas about sex ✌🏻

Whatsername7 · 15/06/2019 03:25

HWBU. But, im head of yr 11 and last year several of my pupils went to pride (majoritively as 'straight allies') and got stupidly drunk. So if your dh was worried about the 'party' atmosphere and your son being a teenager who might over indulge, it is understandable. If he has an issue with pride itself then that is idiotic. If he means 'too young' because pride celebrates people are LGBTQ then id be really pissed off.

AlliKaneErikson · 15/06/2019 04:03

I’d absolutely take my 9 and 11 year old if it was close and we didn’t have anything else on. The local Beaver and Cub groups went to Cardiff last year to take part in Pride, which I thought was great.

AlliKaneErikson · 15/06/2019 04:03

Sorry- didn’t realise it was a zombie thread...

Hollanda40 · 15/06/2019 07:42

As a BI CURIOUS Mum of 2 in a heterosexual and happy marriage, I love Pride. Our city event is kiddo friendly and fun and yes I absolutely would take my kids to see the march. My eldest doesn't want to (fine) but if and when he chose to in the future is also fine.

It's not about celebrating "gayness", but about acceptance that we are lucky enough in this country to have the choice who we fall in love with. In several countries, homosexuality is still illegal or at least not tolerated. I care not a jot if either of our kids ended up being gay/trans etc. I'd worry how hard life might be for them but they're our kids and when WE chose to have them, it wasn't on the condition that they would be straight!!

Sure there are parts of Pride NOT kid friendly and we do keep well away from those areas of questionable behaviour but on the whole it's not about that. You're as likely to get ill behaved drunks on our St Paddy's March as you are on Pride. Or St George's Day you get racist idiots. You get morons anywhere and surely parenting is gently explaining to your kids that yes, sometimes grown ups get silly/drink too much silly juice and make bad choices as a result! Then move on with life.

Pride events absolutely should be family friendly for the most part...those wanting "other elements" usually wait until the evening parties in our city. I took DS7 for 4 years and then he chose not to go. So DH takes him golfing or something instead. This year I may take DD2 but may not. I haven't planned anything yet but that's because we go away 2 days later and we'll be busy packing probably.

The Christian aspect of gay love, I struggle with. Christians want people to love one another yet remain steadfast that loving someone who happens to be the "wrong" sex is wrong?

So yes. To everyone else I'm a straight Mummy of 2 going for the "free festival" but those who know me - really know me - know why I go and if anyone judges me on what they see, so be it. I prefer to answer questions my kids will doubtless have, in an honest and non judgemental manner and keep communication open. And just hope we are raising tolerant kids with a healthy attitude towards love, relationships, themselves and others.

agentwrap · 16/06/2019 20:51

@AfraidOfMyShadow

I feel sorry for your step son, I really do.

Meccacos · 17/06/2019 05:10

I’m going to go against the grain and side with your husband.

Whether or not he raised a moral objection or a safety objection to the request is not the point.

The point is, your child is still a child. He has plenty of time to grow up, while he is a child it is your responsibility to set boundaries. This is just another boundary.

We weren’t even allowed to watch the prose parade on tv. Years later (only as an adult) did I realise why.

My parents didn’t want me to grow up before my time and be exposed to gratuitous displays of sex.

Yes, pride can be fun - but it’s also about sex. Massive phallic symbols and people displaying their kink. It’s not just about pride and acceptance.

Your husband has raised an objection and it’s not unreasonable in the circumstances wherein your son is still only a child.

Meccacos · 17/06/2019 05:10

*pride parade

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