MIL is demanding DS has his hair cut

[Amee1992x]

My 5 year old son requested at Christmas time he could have longer hair, it's not long long perhaps keeps it at a young mason disick length.

My MIL has said he better have had a haircut before a family party later and she sick of him looking like a girl.

He has his ends trimmed every 6 weeks, hair isn't straggy or messy.

The deal was he can have his hair long as long as he takes care of it burshing it, having it out his face or up at school.

MIL has basically said not to bother coming when I told her DS isn't due a haircut for about 4 weeks.

So I think we just won't bother going AIBU?

Yanbu. But hey at least you now know that her love is conditional.

Is mil hostingnthe party and can dictate the guest list? If so, yep, don't go. Definitely don't get it cut short because she's trying to dictate.

Of course YANBU - she's being ridiculous.

What an awful relative!

Don't go.

Sounds tedious.

Who TF imposes a dress code on a 5 year old??

DS had long hair until he was 12. Then he donated it to The Princes Trust.

Please don't let her have him unsupervised before either party. . .
Or you will be back on here. .
'mil has cut ds hair'!!

Yep I'd not bother going. I'd also decide on a style I'd like her to have and tell her I don't want to see her until she's got it sorted.

If MIL is hosting the party, then you have one of two choices. Either your whole family (you, DC, DH) don't go , or you show up anyway, and see if she dares to send you away with the rest of the family watching. I'd personally go for the second option.

If MIL is not hosting, then it's none of her business whether you go or not.

She sounds a bit unhinged , tbh.

oh man, she's batshit. She'd love my kid. He looks feral with his curls.
Don't bother going. It's pretty sad that she'd rather not see her grandchild to make a point about his hair.

YANBU. Clearly.

Hair length is something personal and which can be easily changed, therefore it's one of the things children absolutely should be allowed to make their own decisions about and have those decisions respected (within parameters obviously, as in your case - as long as they can look after their chosen style, it won't get them suspended from school, they don't have potentially offensive patterns shaved in, cool down period between asking for a drastic change and having it cut to minimise potential for regret etc).

Elfears yes! OP please do demand that your MIL changes her hair style to please you!

I would say to her "so can I clarify, dgs wants long hair, (not me, him) and you are saying if he doesn't have it cut before your party he can't attend?" If she says yes I would say; "what a shame he won't be attending then, because as I just told you he doesn't want his hair cut and as long as it's clean and regularly trimmed, I support his decision". End of conversation.

If I was feeling brave I would add, "Shame though as I'm not sure he would have necessarily chosen your hairstyle for you, but he wouldn't think to ask you to change it... "

Oh yes and as Justhadmyhaircut says be careful - she will cut it/ get it cut if you leave DS with her at any point.

Wtf. I wonder what she'd think of my DS's long, blue hair.

Tell her that she won't be seeing him anyway, if she is going to judge him on a hairstyle.

Wow. What an enormous bitch. If she's not in control of the party, then go. If she is, keep your whole family away, but do not give in to her insane demands. If you do she'll wield her power over you forever. What a horrible woman.

'Looks like a girl'. DD with a blonde shoulder length bob and clearly, I think, a girl got mistaken for a boy recently because she was wearing board shorts. Tell your MIL that "clothes maketh the man".

There are no words for how batshit crazy she is

Both my ds have long hair, it's their hair not mine, they run a brush through when I ask them to, but if anyone dis invited them from anything because of their hair I would be

Ask mil when she's getting her green Mohawk done?

Tell her that either you all come, with DS and hair, or none of you do. Her choice.

I would contact the party host and tell them that MIL has uninvited you due to your son's hair .

DS will only come to your party if you dye your hair pink and aqua so you look like a magical unicorn.
No?
Oh dear, we won't be coming then.

Yay! Have a mini Mexican wave for not having to go

I LOVE it when batshit controlling people get their comeuppance- can you give her a MASSIVE grin and say 'oh such a shame' in the sarkiest voice

Don't go then in a few days invite her to yours and say if she doesn't do to her hair then the invitation's rescinded.

Or go, but with him in a dress.
Really rile her up

I would still go to the party.

Oh, please do what a PP said and insist MIL gets a bob/dyes her hair/shaves her hair off etc. and let her know you won't be seeing her until it's done. Pleeeeease, OP.