MIL is demanding DS has his hair cut

[Amee1992x]

My 5 year old son requested at Christmas time he could have longer hair, it's not long long perhaps keeps it at a young mason disick length.

My MIL has said he better have had a haircut before a family party later and she sick of him looking like a girl.

He has his ends trimmed every 6 weeks, hair isn't straggy or messy.

The deal was he can have his hair long as long as he takes care of it burshing it, having it out his face or up at school.

MIL has basically said not to bother coming when I told her DS isn't due a haircut for about 4 weeks.

So I think we just won't bother going AIBU?

He looks like a girl?WTF? Does long hair make your penis fall off?
BTW. Like a girl in this house means clever and kick ass and awesome!
Don't go.
Don't let her round your child if she can't refrain from making such comments.

She sounds unhinged. Yanbu. Enjoy your evening with lovely, long haired DS .

Just make sure you get in touch with whoever is hosting the party first so MIL doesn't play dumb when you're not there and pretends you just didn't show

Crikey she would hate my eldest who has a mass of thick dark brunette curls half way down his back.

Fortunately the very conservative business area where he makes a ridiculous salary for his age, cares more about his brain than his hairstyle.

More seriously if she is imposing stereotypes like this on a 5yr old over something so trivial I'd watch out for other attitudes. Telling him he looks like a girl is calculated nastiness.

Is this just a once off where you can agree to differ and move on, or part of a pattern? It makes quite a difference to how to treat it.

I'm very fortunate to own my own salon. And having let's say an alternative appearance doesn't effect us, id never want my son to feel self councious his looks!

Um bollocks can a secondary school insist on a boy with long hair getting it cut. They may insist on it being tied back.

My son loved his long blonde hair which he had until he was about seven and other children took the piss out of him for being a girl.

Sod the mother in law. Sounds like a good reason not to spend time with her.

Please don't teach him that 'old people are odd' Amee. That's just encouraging ageism. I'm 18 months off my 70th birthday, I'm very liberal in my attitudes and do not judge people. I would never in a million years say the sort of thing your MIL has said.

Some old people are odd and some aren't same as young people.

Your MIL is just nasty and probably always has been. People don't just become nasty because they get old, they're usually just pretty awful people their whole lives.

Being old may make nastiness a bit more obvious in as some people but being old doesn't turn all the nice people nasty or odd.

Yanbu, and I wouldn't be happy about making unwelcome comments about his appearance in front of him either. If she doesn't like it or can't think of anything nice to say, she should not say anything.

His hair sounds so cute! My nephew is that age and I want to eat him with his hair long. What a nasty woman. I'd just say to her "oh right well he'll be devastated to miss your pal's retirement party" with total disdain, like scathing laughter, in your voice. Make her feel five centimetres tall.

ds have always had long long hair when it reaches their waist they cut a foot off and donate to "locks fo love"
usa+ canadian -they make wigs for children with cancer and alopecia
my boys are in 30s and have been donating theirs since 1997
have put up with creeps like your mil all their lives.
and dont give a damn.

like others have said dont let him be alone with her.

YANBU - she sounds hideous.

if its not your MIL party tell her to do one and still go, at the end of the day its your child not hers and if she doesnt like it tell her not to go. im sick of the type of people who think only girls can only have long hair, girls can only play with dolls and boys play with cars etc kids are kids if they are happy then thats the main thing. if that was me and depending on if its someones party or if its just a party as in all the family will be there that are coming from far out etc i would just text them all saying im really sorry we cant make it due to my sons long hair and being advised not to come i hope you all have a great time. will catch up at a later date. but when sending it make sure you send it to your MIL too. i would even go the point i bought pink hair clip or bobbles or something for when shes visiting and pop them in his hair just to annoy her more haha!

My 15 year old has waist length hair, nothing would make him cut it. He ties it back for school on my insistence not schools. School have never mentioned it. He got quite a bit of grief from other kids in the early years but not anymore. I'm very proud he is secure enough to be himself and stuff anyone else.

Oh and you mil is a twat!

I wouldn't wanna say she was being nasty or judgemental though. So I thought saying sometimes old people are odd was better 🤷🏻‍♀️. Not to offend anyone.

He won't be round her house again till she says sorry to him, and my DH is going to go round tomorrow.

She has always made sly remarks or been fussy but not to the point where we weren't welcome at a party.

I'd have thought her friends would be more offended by my appearance than his hair 😂.

Oh wow, he wears his hair in a little man-bun? (Boy-bun?)
That rocks!
Tell him from me, I think he's ace (from a girl who "looks like a boy" with a half-shaved head).

Toastyfingers I also have an undercut 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wow what a peach of a MIL you have! Glad to hear your dh is wise to her though.

I got it OP, I can see her problem
Older people's party, she wanted to show ds off. Like her she thinks her guests may agree with her stupid opinion, so wanted his hair cut.

I would be tempted to turn up with card/present for retiring person, leaving ds and dh at home, or ds with your mum if dh is working.
Pop round and drop card off, apologise for not bringing ds but he didn't fit with the strict dress code expected by your dmil.

Your mother in law is not being reasonable at all! I can't believe she wouldn't want him there no matter what.

I wouldn't be cutting a kid's hair to please mil.
But I wouldn't be pandering to the style demands of 5yos either.

I don't pander to his style demands, he asked if he could have longer hair the answer was yes if he looked after it and tied it up for school, he does so there isn't an issue 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Woo-hoo! Cool haired ladies unite! If your username is the year you were born, we're pretty much the same age too.

DD tells anyone who'll listen that she's going to have pink hair when she's a grown up, I may get her some pink clip-ins for the summer holidays. My MIL will probably gripe about it but I just smile and nod. Yours seems a special brand of crazy though.

Tell her to fuck off and mind her own business.
I'd go to the party and let him wear his hair down just to aggravate her.