Found a positive pregnancy test in DSDs bedroom. DH will want her out. What the fuck do I do.

[K1092902]

I'm in actual genuine shock.

This isn't one of those "my teenage child is better behaved than your teenage child" because it isnt. She is far from perfect but She knows she can tell me anything and I will 100% support her decision on things.

Anyway- on to the topic.

DSD has been working hard all week and took DD out today as I was feeling unwell. She usually does her own laundry and ironing so I decided to do it for her today. Went to put some t shirts away in her drawers and found a positive pregnancy test. Thinking about it (and I know this sounds odd in a way) but I haven't cleaned out any sanitary products from her bathroom bin in the last 2 or 3 months. I know she has been sleeping with someone and she insisted she was taking precautions but as we all know accidents can happen. I assumed she was on the pill as my periods stopped when I was on it a couple of years ago

I was out when she came back with DD and she is now at work until half 12. I'm going to sit and have a chat with her and I know she is either going to be really upset because she doesn't know what to do or angry because she feels I have invaded her personal space- I genuinely didn't go looking for it. I opened the drawer and saw the end peaking out of a pair of slipper socks and knew straight away what it was.

DH is going to be fuming and will probably want to kick her out (can say this with 90% certainty). I will support her decision 100%.

She is 18 (just)

Well if he kicks out his daughter for being pregnant I hope you'll kick him out for being a shit.

And I'm very sorry for your difficulties conceiving, but your relationship cannot be based on what your adult daughter/stepdaughter does with her own life.

massive kudos to you op, thank god there are folk like you still in this world

You sound like a lovely Step Mum. She's lucky she has you.

You sound great op. Maybe your DH will change his tune if he's ever faced with the reality of her being pregnant, but as other have said, there are a few possible scenarios where this might not happen. If he can actually bring himself to throw her out while she's pregnant, then I'm not surprised you think that will cause a rift in your relationship with him. That would be a deplorable thing to do. I don't think I could be with someone who could do that to his own child and grandchild.

I think your idea of chatting to her outside the house is a good one. Hope it goes ok .

I just want to emphasise that you are lovely, OP.

I think everyone needs to calm down a bit!
The op doesn't know for sure that the dsd is pregnant yet, it could be how the test looks after a while, it could even belong to one of her friends.
Op your first step is talk to dsd & find out what's going on & if she is pregnant what she wants to do.

If she is pregnant & keeping the baby then you have to deal with your DH - he might surprise you, it's easy to say you will do something in a hypothetical situation, when it's real reactions change.
If it turns out he is the kind of man to throw his daughter out then yes, personally I would leave him - but that's a way down the line at this point

You sound really lovely OP, poor girl, at present, she must be in turmoil.
I'm so glad that you are going to stand by and protect her.💐
She's a very lucky girl.

She's a lucky young lady to have you K109 Don't let him throw her out if she is pregnant, make him leave if someone needs to go. She needs you.

Talk to her asap. Don't say anything to your husband. Support her decision.

Good luck.

Oh and please don't have another child with this tosser.

Your DP's preferences over what DSD does with her own body are a moot point. The deed is done. The only issue now is what does DSD want to do and how can you and DP best support her? If he wants to tantrum over it because he is unable to control what another adult human does with their own body, he needs a reality check.

Surely no parent is that horrible.

My 'D'M absolutely would have thrown me or my sister out if we'd got pregnant whilst at home. Not even gonna hijack this thread with how she behaved when my sister did get pregnant at 18 whilst living away from home. She was truly vile.

In her mums absence he really needs to step up and be a real dad

'D' H is a dick, if he tried to kick her out, he would be out.

I would absolutely arrange to meet her after work op, i hope she is ok . The fact that she has just left it in her drawer instead of throwing it out in secret securely, suggests that maybe she was crying out for help?

Quitelikely your comments are a bit silly. Why wouldn't an 18 year old do her own laundry. And why is living with father indicative of issues?

Good luck op, I hope your dsd is able to talk to you and your 'd'h doesn't follow through on his threats

I hope your chat goes well and its good she has someone on her side.

Just wanted to say you sound like an amazing step mum to have. She is a lucky girl

You sound lovely OP, and I think your idea of picking her up from work and taking her to MacDonalds is brilliant.

I really hope (as a couple of posters upthread have mentioned re. their dads) that it's a "his bark's worse than his bite" situation. But if he really did go through with chucking her out, I'd be dumping the bastard onto the street and inviting DSD back into the house.

I'd talk to her first without telling her dad anything and go from there.

It's all very well saying LTB or kick him out but that doesn't really stack up financially for most of us. And certainly not for OP and a DSD. Better she establishes what's what as PPs have said - preferably outside the home - and goes from there without telling DH at first.

Good luck OP

I am a bit surprised at this thread as I have read countless mn threads on teen pg where the consensus is that a teen mum needs to be responsible for her baby, use a mother and baby unit, cannot expect her parents to raise her child for her etc.

I think he should support her but if he doesn't want a baby living there that is his right.

I would allow her to stay, btw.

I hope your DH is supportive. There will always be an initial shock but hopefully once it calms down he will come around.

I just wanted to say it sounds like your DSD is very lucky to have you, you sound amazingly supportive

do you think he actually would kick her out though i can understand him not being overjoyed by the situation but kicking her out?