To think it's no ones business where my money comes from?

[Temporaryname4958]

Hi, I've NC'd for this as I try to keep my finances off the net so would rather be as anonymous as possible. I enjoy a relatively nice lifestyle. I work (for myself) 3 days per month. Most of this is freelance work, relatively low paid I just want to keep up to date with my skills. I spend the rest of the time with my young child, experimenting with hobbies and interests and trying to have some kind of social life... I live my life for me and not for work. I am VERY lucky to be able to do so. I know this, I spent years living in poverty and I know how lucky I am and try to never make finances a subject of conversation or an importance socially as I'd really hate for anyone to be uncomfortable around me, anyhow. I have a new group of friends, in a new place that I live. I've been questioned quite intently about my finances as I do not have a partner (I have a husband but we are divorcing and don't live together) nor a "proper job". I never feel the need to disclose where I get my income, but some of these "friends" who probably don't deserve to be called that (and I'm one millimetre from cutting contact) have taken to calling me a "benefits scrounger" behind my back (FYI I've never claimed never intend to and I'm not eligible to either), other rumours include that im a drug dealer, a prostitute/some other fraudster. It's making me very upset.
One lady who isn't spreading these rumours that I know of but is in the group among where they're being spread has text me to say "perhaps if you actually come clean with how your money is made or how you live then all this will stop?" This has annoyed me for 2 reasons.

1. Coming clean infers I've lied/covered it up. I just try to avoid talking about it.
2. It's no ones business IMO.

I break no laws, Claim no tax payers money (although I feel this one is no ones business anyway as I'd never expect someone to tell me this!) and harm no one. Aibu to think it's no ones business and just cut these friends off? I like to spend time with them and it's nice to have people to talk to and go out with but this might just be a bit too far tbh.

I got to the part about how you earn your money.

You are pathetic OP.

Grow up.

Why on earth is the OP pathetic?

@QuackPorridgeBacon either I've totally missed something here or that is a very rude and unnecessary comment!

I think your savings must be approaching a million as interest is only 1% or so, so that gives you 100,000 before tax

Oops yes got that wrong. Should have been 10,000 - before tax.

OP had said something about a few other bits and bobs(like interest from savings, careful investments) but with interest so low you will need a lot of savings! So maybe should be 10 million

I think some people may disagree, but I find being so secretive for such a stupid reason quite pathetic. I just don't get it, I can't understand why you would be so secretive and for what? She gets rent money from a house and her soon to be ex husband supports her daughter well enough that they are ok.

What's the big deal? If my friends (if I had any lol) were so shady about how they were accessing money, I'd find it attention seeking and move on.

Totally agree Quack.

So do I.

Most people discuss how they earn or don't earn money Megan are you so special that you can just tell people ? I would think you were a drug dealer too probably as it's the bit telling

Just say I do XXX freelance and it pays enough that I don't have to work

It's normal and human to discuss how we out bread on the table

Yabu

Megan sorry

But yeah what quack said !

I thought the OP made it quite clear her upset was not so much about the nosiness but about the rumours being started?

I wonder whether they are genuinely malicious rumours or simple people taking the piss a bit tbh.

Probably taking the mick a bit. That would be my sense of humour.

I can somewhat understand being discreet. In an idle conversation with colleagues - about whether or not we could afford to be SAHM - I said that I probably could, if needed. The other two said that they couldn't. None of us had children at that point.

The same colleague then brought it up on a number of occasions that I was lucky, as I 'didn't have to work'. It got rather annoying!

This thread has proved it's human nature to want to know where the OP gets her income from. In a perfect world no one would care or ever deign to ask her, but it isn't a perfect world. Given the OP is an expat and that there are real life stories of some quite incredible fraudsters out there, plus people do want to protect themselves and their families I can understand her new found friends wanting to know more. I find the OP's stance quite disingenuous. Just tell them you made some money and decided to use it as a source of income so you could work only part time and spend more time with your child. Is that so difficult or problematic?

N been curious or suspicious how will that change your personal circumstances. Don't know how something or someone that doesn't affect me personally will get to me. Each to their own

Op you say you are single and work 3 days a month in a low paid job and you wonder why your "pals" insinuate that you're living off the proceeds of crime???!!!!!

I think you need to change the company you keep OP. Your friends are trying to make sense of what appears to them to be a discrepancy between your life style and how it is funded.

So they've filled in the gaps themselves. It speaks volumes that your friends are filling the gaps with nefarious activities. Probably because such activities are the only way, in their circle of experience, that such a lifestyle can be funded.

Perhaps to them they have never met someone who has a private income, only those employed, on benefits or criminals.

Amongst a different circle of people and experiences then the assumption of private income might have been made.

Deux you sound like an idiot.