To think this is not a picture you would post on Facebook

[Nowaynowjose]

SIL posts regularly about various problems, usually the half info type post which has lots of ppl sympathising and asking after more detail. Her young child recently had an issue which required hospitalisation, and was put on a ventilator for a day, fluid drained etc. Luckily, treatment has been positive and the worst is over. She will need to stay in for a few more days for observation.
The first we knew about it was from a post on FB, on entry to the hospital, although it wasn't clear which child was involved, or what the problem was. Subsequent updates have included photos of child with various tubes etc, which has been distressing for some family members to see (for various reasons). I understand FB is a fast way to update everyone at once, but AIBU to think posting the pics is a bit unnecessary? The poor child is ill, surely they deserve a bit more privacy than having these pics plastered on social media?

[SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning]

Trixie ah yes because calling this "attention seeking twattery" when a parent has experienced a critically ill child is oh so much better?! I cba to scroll up on my glitchy app to highlight other comments made about about parents of critically ill children.

[Trixiebelle16]

I have never said that phrase please don't imply that I have.

[Littlelondoner]

There was a study done on kids who have grown up in the digital age. They saw a correlation between low self esteme and this sort of thing. It takes away the childs privicy and right to choose what they share. The majority of kids said they had felt embaressed or hurt by something a parent had shared on social media about them.

I will try and find the study. It was interesting to say the least.

I personally would hate someone to post photo pf me whilst ill so would not tale the right of a child away for having same level of privicy.

[MayJuneJuly]

I'm not keen on how people use facebook to reach out for emotional support or attention to be honest.

My DD was in hospital a while back and one of the school mums said afterwards that I obviously wasn't that bothered by the whole thing because I hadn't even posted on facebook or told anyone...

I had told close friends and family and I resent the implication that I didn't care because I wanted to deal with it privately.

[Whoopwhoopwooo]

Not even on FB, properly the only person in the world. Can't be dealing with other people's Im having this for breakfast, look at the shit I just had ect ect..... have to admit always the last to know everything though. Don't agree with posting things that should be private like a child in hospital.

[Perfectly1mperfect]

I haven't read the whole thread, I hope the child is recovering well.💐

I do know someone who has a close relative, not a child, who is in and out of hospital. They post photos of the ambulance outside their house, the signs on the hospital corridors etc.

I really don't get it. I think it's attention seeking tbh, waiting for comments from people. Some 'friends' then 'like' the photos. It's madness. Like I say, I really don't get it!

[flowergrrl77]

I hope the child is recovering. I hope the family have support.
I don't really care what anyone thinks of anyone either.

[SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning]

Trixie I didn't imply that you did and sorry if you took it that way. For clarity, I know you didn't. Other people certainly did make disgusting comments and I won't let that slide. You did not. I do, respectfully, disagree with your view point though. You said "It is a shame that by expressing a view on something and giving reasonable arguments and experiences that you get accused of sneering, bitching or slagging people off." when many of us were directly replying to the comments that did call parents of critically ill children "attention seeking".

[TheMysteriousJackelope]

With older children it depends on what the child wants. DD has had some fairly serious surgeries and been in the PICU for two days. She would hate for me to photograph her and stick the pictures on Facebook. So I don't.

She Facetimed DSIL and DSIL cried and cried afterwards because she was so upset by how DD looked. That can be another consequence, making friends and relatives very upset when there is absolutely nothing they can do about the situation due to being so far away. DD is recovering nicely now and the surgery appears to have gone well.

[Picoloangel]

I don't understand the need to post pictures of DC in hospital. To me it seems like a twisted form of attention seeking. Text your family, don't post pictures of ill children and I am speaking as someone who has had a number of blue light situations with DD.

[PurplePeppers]

As usual, you have very different needs form diffent people.
The needs of the child and their right to privacy
The needs of the parent who is posting and would like some support or full on attention with plenty of 'likes'
The needs of the family/friends who will see the photos and might be very distressedlooking at it.

I'm still not sure why on earth the needs of one person (eg the parent) should trump the need of the other (the reader or the child).

I also don't think it's as easy as saying 'just unfollow them'. Can you imagine if you start unfollowing family member because you find their photos distressing?

[PurplePeppers]

And obvioulsy, there is also the issue of whether the photos are private, how many people are 'friends' with the Im etc etc
In effect, someone posting a photos of their child who is ill to 10 family members whilst having a very private profile is very different than someone who is posting the same photo for 300 people to see with a public profile....

[TheFirstMrsDV]

Can you imagine if you start unfollowing family member because you find their photos distressing?

If you were the sort of person to be so nasty minded about the motivations of your nearest and dearest cos strikeouts don't make something less nasty why would the idea of unfriending them on FB be so unimaginable?

[mumto2two]

I also think this is strange. Our child has been hospitalised about 30 times now, and sometimes we are so immersed in our own concern, that even our close family don't even realise where we are.
So yes it does sound a little like attention seeking to me. When your child is seriously ill, why on earth would you be thinking of Facebook?! I'm sure if we asked our child would they want their lowest points broadcast on social media, the answer would be a resounding no!

[LaurieMarlow]

Look, I don't think there's any point arguing with people over this.

There's a certain type of person who doesn't understand social media, who doesn't get that it facilitates an entirely new way of communicating, that hasn't realised the comfort and solidarity people get from it and particularly doesn't understand how young people use it and get validation from it.

They're determined to judge because they can't compute.

However it's not going away, so I suggest they come to terms with it, even if they never fully get it.

[TheMysteriousJackelope]

Wow Laurie what a patronizing post.

I understand social media and so does my DD. She understands enough to know that she doesn't want photos of her post surgery slapped on the internet to pop up unexpectedly in the future, and I know enough to respect her right to privacy. I know enough to know that my ex-boss's widow, a few colleagues from 30 years ago, and that lady I met at the Thai restaurant that time don't need to see photos of her attached to IVs, monitors, and a catheter no matter how much support I may want.

I suggest you read Blind Faith by Ben Elton.

[LaurieMarlow]

No ones suggesting you should document on social media if you don't want to. But to call parents who do 'attention seeking' is to misunderstand both them and the medium.

[KoalaDownUnder]

No, Laurie, we understand social media perfectly well. We just have a different opinion to you. One that's shared by plenty of professionals (like my own psychologist).

It has nothing to do with not being able to 'compute'.

How very presumptuous and weird.

[Lovelymess]

They do it for attention. Like the people who have to "check in" to hospital on Facebook. Gross

[Onhold]

Your post is gross, And who are 'they' people who ill children?

[Ruth2009]

Someone on my Facebook has posted a photo of a dirty nappy asking if this "is normal?"....
It was horrendous..... Why feel the need to do this?

[fussychildeater]

I've done it with DD posted a pic once because after a god awful 24 hours of worry and distress i was beyond relieved that my child was alive and stable and i normally share pictures of good moments on fb and that was the best moment of a bad situation.