To think this is not a picture you would post on Facebook

[Nowaynowjose]

SIL posts regularly about various problems, usually the half info type post which has lots of ppl sympathising and asking after more detail. Her young child recently had an issue which required hospitalisation, and was put on a ventilator for a day, fluid drained etc. Luckily, treatment has been positive and the worst is over. She will need to stay in for a few more days for observation.
The first we knew about it was from a post on FB, on entry to the hospital, although it wasn't clear which child was involved, or what the problem was. Subsequent updates have included photos of child with various tubes etc, which has been distressing for some family members to see (for various reasons). I understand FB is a fast way to update everyone at once, but AIBU to think posting the pics is a bit unnecessary? The poor child is ill, surely they deserve a bit more privacy than having these pics plastered on social media?

Now you're really going off on a tangent. The initial OP was asking whether ppl thought it necessary to post pics of other ppl at their medical worst, rather than just a text update. No more, no less. Stop trying to make it into something else! The sooner this is deleted the better, as some ppl are determined to put words into mine and others mouths, which is getting ridiculous. I know AIBU has a certain reputation for blunt responses and there's nothing wrong with that, but some ppl seem to be deliberately arguing over a different issue! Ridiculous.

No my objection is to putting photos of children who are suffering or distressed on social media. It's about the child's right to privacy. I had a friend actually post a photo of her son crying. It's not fair on the child. Obviously I don't mean chronically ill children should mever be shown on Fb - just let the children have some privacy and dignity when they're having difficult times. Parents can reach out for support without publicising photos. People talk about Fb as if it's an essential part of life - you are not hiding something or denying it's happening just because you don't put it on FB.

Mrsdv I imagine you can get threads deleted for a lot of reasons. Mine is primarily not because it has gone off topic, but that those who are taking it off topic are deliberately being rude and twisting other ppls words. I did think it was getting a bit much. Especially if someone in a situation such as lonely were to come along and be affected by it, as a pp pointed out. It seems impossible for some to discuss on the OP situation alone.

I guess people have different coping strategies. Maybe they're seeking support and reassurance. I wouldn't want to say it's right or wrong, just done people do and done people don't and it's a personal choice. I posted s pic of my dd when 5 weeks old in hospital, not at her worst because it was upsetting to see, but as she was recovering. I was proud of my little fighter. It also meant I didn't have to spend time sending numerous texts or making phonecalls beyond our closest family. We had a lot of people praying for us who would appreciate updates. The picture showed how much progress she had made.
My point being, everyone has their reasons.... But you're allowed to disagree with them.

Well Mrsdv and friends, just been informed that this thread is staying up, so carry on twisting ppls words and arguing about a separate issue to that posted in the OP. I'll leave you to it.

Of course its staying up, You don't get to stamp your foot and get a thread removed because people don't agree with you.

Exactly Alex
Its fine to disagree.
There is no need to call scared parents attention seeking and exploitative because you wouldn't do the same.

Can't help yourselves can you Mrsdv, zzz. If you actually read what I posted and replied to that instead of making assumptions about my motivations and what I think, you wouldn't actually have anything to say. I'm not stamping my feet, just pointing out that this thread has gotten quite unpleasant since you weighed in with your accusatory and presumptuous comments. If you could actually read and take that on board you would see that I have been fine with pp who disagreed with me. It's ppl like you, who deliberately post derogatory comments while accusing others of being judgemental, who have made this a rather unpleasant thread. You should be ashamed of yourselves for twisting a simple question into this. I'm not engaging with you any longer. If you would like to add any further comments about what you assume I think, that will be more of a reflection on yourself than me. Any explanation I have given has been thoroughly ignored and deliberately misunderstood.

OP
Totally agree
It's gone nuts here

Thanks prima. I've never experienced such deliberately ignorant and inflammatory comments on here before. Shame.

I am quite surprised too Noway.
Hitting a raw nerve springs to mind.

Righto, off to take some pics (my bad)

When my DS was born we posted a picture of the SCBU set up, and DS on his machines, it was a way of politely showing people it wasn't a good time for lots of visitors and flowers!

It was always going to be an unpleasant thread. Surely that was your intention when you started it.

rose hope everything is all ok now. I wouldn't have had a second thought about you posting that pic.

Social media is part of modern day-to-day life, whether you like it or not. Facebook sneering on MN is a little bit ironic because you're on social media, slagging off other people's use of social media. Also, it's probably worth considering that many people aren't able to speak to people in real life; it's hard, it's painful, repeating things over and over is shit or maybe they don't have any real friends but do want support from acquaintances.

FWIW, posting photos and detailed information on mine/my children's health is not what I would do but I would never judge anyone who does because I don't know what's going on in their heads when they've been through trauma. Medical trauma is a very interesting topic and there's lots unknown, except on MN when some people seem to know exactly what they'd do when faced with their worst ever nightmare.

Criticising a parent/family member who has been through the worst type of trauma is pretty low. I don't care if the photo is posted afterwards because often, that's when the emotional pain hits the hardest. In hospital, you live hour to hour. You survive. When they're home, you're fucking terrified and horrified and cannot believe what you've been through. If you cannot "seek attention" at this point in your life, then when?! Why is needing attention so bad? We are human and we often crave other humans even if it's superficial.

For all of you who don't really understand social media and why people post there, I urge you to read this.

medium.com/matter/selfie-fe945dcba6b0

I apologise in advance because firstly it's very fucking long and secondly it doesn't directly address the issue being debated on this thread. However, if you have the time, it's very insightful around why this culture has taken off and also why certain people feel threatened by it.

It is a shame that by expressing a view on something and giving reasonable arguments and experiences that you get accused of sneering, bitching or slagging people off.

That's a very interesting link Laurie, thanks :)

What do you mean 'I can't help myself?'
I can't help defending parents having a crap time? Hands up.

Trixie no one expressing an opinion has been accused of sneering.Its comments like It's attention seeking and exploitative not to mention intrusive that have been called unpleasant and judgemental.

Because they are.

Well this is a shitstorm thread isn't it!

This is one of those subjects that comes up perennially, and it never goes well.

I don't understand why people have to be so judgemental about what other people post on Facebook and how they deal with stuff like this. If people don't do things the way that you would do them, that doesn't make them wrong, just different.

It was always going to be an unpleasant thread. Surely that was your intention when you started it.
Really? Now I'm being accused of deliberately starting a thread with the intention of it turning nasty? At no point did I accuse anyone of being attention seeking, or anything else. I asked if I wbu to think graphic medical pics were a bit unnecessary in an update on a child, on FB. When the child at this point has had equipment removed ie pic was taken at the worst point, not a current pic. Because I like to keep things a bit more private. Sorry for asking others opinions!!

Noway have you even listened to the people who've said that after is when it often the most traumatic time and when you need the most support? I'm in agreement that I wouldn't post photos or probably not even updates, yet you seem unable to listen.