To think this is not a picture you would post on Facebook

[Nowaynowjose]

SIL posts regularly about various problems, usually the half info type post which has lots of ppl sympathising and asking after more detail. Her young child recently had an issue which required hospitalisation, and was put on a ventilator for a day, fluid drained etc. Luckily, treatment has been positive and the worst is over. She will need to stay in for a few more days for observation.
The first we knew about it was from a post on FB, on entry to the hospital, although it wasn't clear which child was involved, or what the problem was. Subsequent updates have included photos of child with various tubes etc, which has been distressing for some family members to see (for various reasons). I understand FB is a fast way to update everyone at once, but AIBU to think posting the pics is a bit unnecessary? The poor child is ill, surely they deserve a bit more privacy than having these pics plastered on social media?

[Lonelymummyof1]

Children that are suffering ??

Ok so my sister can share her moments of her dd but I can not mine because mine happens to be hospital.
My daughters tubes are apart of her and I will never teach her to hide them away.
Also public ?
This all depends on who you accept on facebook surely ?
Friends and family ?
I am sure they appreciated all being able to see my daughter take her first steps with a hospital back drop when we were miles away from home.

[TheFirstMrsDV]

there is absolutely no justification whatsoevr for putting photos of children who are suffering or vulnerable into a public forum to be commented on

Justifications
Look at Johnny smiling, isn't he cute?
This is a snapshot of Alice's day
Carol's first steps
Happy Birthday Dontay!
Christmas day fun

Just off the top of my head. I am sure people can come up with more.

[TheFirstMrsDV]

Cross post with Lonely

[ethelfleda]

YANBU

[Sirzy]

Ds first photo of his smiling is beautiful. He also has oxygen nasal specs in - should that not have been shared? Given a few days before we didn't think he would live let alone smile it's a pretty important picture in his life journey!

[Trixiebelle16]

Sirzy you have missed my point entirely.

[TheFirstMrsDV]

My FB feed is full of these exploitative, gross, attention seeking photos.
They often make me smile and they sometimes make me very sad.
I feel privileged to be allowed to share in their lives.
But I don't add randoms to my FB
I suggest if people don't want to see photos of stranger's kids they don't either.

[BeyondDrinksAndKnowsThings]

^ that.

[LaurieMarlow]

I think it comes down to people not wanting to confront harsh realities of life. That children get sick and sometimes won't get better. It's easier for us to brush that aside and pretend it's not so.

So, (mostly unconsciously) it's policed. Dressed up, in this case as concern at 'exploitative' behaviour.

But there's nothing exploitative about a mother wanting to cherish/share moments with her child with a group of family and friends. If it helps her deal with her feelings, who are you to admonish?

[CookingDinner]

Seems like every person's idea of what FB is supposed to be used for, is different. I recently hated all the mean political stuff circulating before the election. Other people were called it 'political debate' (no, really, some of it was just mean). Some people show you every little bit of their lives. I wonder if they feel isolated or lonely. Perhaps they don't live close to family and its a way of feeling connected and sharing news. For some people I think it helps them deal with mental strife, improve self-image or seek the attention they crave.

FB really annoys me. Wish I could leave it, but I live far from family and its away for them to see pics of the kids.

[TheFirstMrsDV]

That is exactly it Cooking, a way for family and friends to see pics of the kids.

I don't know why some posters on this thread do not consider that as the main reason these photos are shared. They are determined to attach horrible motivations. Motivations THEY would never, ever have.

[CrazyExIngenue]

When DS broke his leg I thought nothing of posting photos of the whole process on Facebook. Part of the reason was we live far away from all our family (who I had called immediately to let them know what had happened before any social media posts) so they could see how well he was doing with the whole scary thing.
Part of it was to distract myself from how scary it was.

[FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers]

I have lots of pictures of my ds and my dd in various stages of life and death in hospitals.

Facebook wasn't really around then but if it was i may well have posted the pictures.

Even now I couldn't properly put into words what i was going through back then.

Even if it is for attention, what's wrong with that. Should we all suffer alone instead of reaching out for a bit of support during the hardest times of our lives? Surely that's part of what social media is for?

[Trixiebelle16]

I find it deeply disturbing that you feel that children are "hidden away" if they're not plastered all over Facebook thefirstmrsdv

[TheFirstMrsDV]

FB wasn't a thing when my DD was ill either Fish
I know I would have been posting on it if I was though.
Months and months away from my other kids and my friends.
Stuck in a hospital room
DD away from her mates and her normal life.
Just about everyone else posts about their life on FB, why wouldn't we have?

I don't post pictures of my dinner on FB but loads of people do. I assume they like food and want to share it. I don't automatically leap to the conclusion that they have a nasty hidden agenda

[Sirzy]

Hospitals are like some sort of never ending day. It's bizzare a day feels like a week, or if your in an ITU type situation more like a year.

You often can't do anything for your child other than sit by their bedside. For hours on end. Days turns into night at some point but the routine doesn't change.

It's draining and often very lonely.

If reaching out via social media helps someone through that then brilliant.

[TheFirstMrsDV]

I find your posts full of hyperbole trixie
'deeply disturbing'
'plastered all over'
really?

[TheFirstMrsDV]

Sirzy yes!
Nothing to do but sit.
Doesn't stop those who have never done it commenting with 'well if that was ME in hospital with MY sick child I would have a lot better things to do than post on FB!'

Like what I would like to know.

[FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers]

No, no TheFirstMrsDV people should sit alone in a solitary world with their ill children so they don't upset others with perfectly healthy children.

Between predicting exactly what they would do in any given scenario and judging others who are actually living it I'm surprised some people get anything done irl.

[Vanillaisboring666]

My dd has been on itu this week and there are laminated posters stating it's an offence according to hospital policy to take pictures or videos whilst children are ventilated or on wards . It's awful that she plastered it all over fb. Very crass and attention seeking behaviour

[Sirzy]

It was the hospital staff who actively encouraged me to take pictures. I thought they where mad at the time but in hindsight I am pleased they did.

[Vanillaisboring666]

It's onitu and we are now on a ward