To think this is not a picture you would post on Facebook

[Nowaynowjose]

SIL posts regularly about various problems, usually the half info type post which has lots of ppl sympathising and asking after more detail. Her young child recently had an issue which required hospitalisation, and was put on a ventilator for a day, fluid drained etc. Luckily, treatment has been positive and the worst is over. She will need to stay in for a few more days for observation.
The first we knew about it was from a post on FB, on entry to the hospital, although it wasn't clear which child was involved, or what the problem was. Subsequent updates have included photos of child with various tubes etc, which has been distressing for some family members to see (for various reasons). I understand FB is a fast way to update everyone at once, but AIBU to think posting the pics is a bit unnecessary? The poor child is ill, surely they deserve a bit more privacy than having these pics plastered on social media?

Your post says it all Rawhh

No it doesn't.
It says 'I didn't want my pictures on FB so my parents didn't do it'

It says that parents tend to know their kids a hell of a lot better than judgemental know it alls on the internet do.
It says parents tend to listen to what their children want.

There is a post about a teenager upthread who doesn't mind having his photos put up. Why doesn't that 'say it all'?

Please read her post properly- she says her parents would never have felt it appropriate and that's why they didn't and she's glad. It's a different matter if parents have a teenager's permission but young children are a different matter.

Many posters on here are seeing it from the view of the parent not the child.

All her post is one persons view. It is no more valid than the view of the poster earlier who said her teenage relative chose to share pictures.

There is no right or wrong. It is what is right for the people involved at the time.

There is no need to judge and Bitch about how people decide to deal with a shit, scary time. Actually to do so is pretty low IMO.

This is supposed to be a debate, just because people with a different view to your own does not mean they are "bitching".

I read the post which is why my post referred to it

Her parents didn't post. She was glad.
Parents tend to understand their children better than strangers do.

What about that response makes you think I didn't read her post?

just because people with a different view to your own does not mean they are "bitching

You are absolutely right. Having a different view is not what makes a post 'bitching'. Using judgemental language and making blanket assumptions about people in difficult situations might though.

You quoted her as saying It says 'I didn't want my pictures on FB so my parents didn't do it' which is not what she said at all. They decided themselves it wasn't appropriate.

This isn't about not posting anything at all, this is about posting photos specifically. Yes of course you're going to reach out for support but there is a reasonable ethical question about whether a child's photo should be used when they are not old enough or well enough to give informed consent.

I responded to the op's example but of course every situation is different and different people have different motives. However I have been on both sides of this situation and strongly feel that publishing photos of this nature is not appropriate. We can agree to disagree.

Trixie the reason why many see it from the view of the parent and not the child is because in many sad cases, that child will never grow up to give their view.

Also, I was that child and I feel very traumatised about my missing childhood; the photos that were never taken, the spaces in the photo albums, the milestones that were missed. Perhaps you won't like my view but not knowing what happened to me was very, very scary. I feel like something was robbed and stolen from me. For closure, I needed this. I don't have it, I won't have it.

I'm sick of people passing judgment of the family of unwell people. If you've been there, then you should know better - everyone reacts differently to trauma. If you haven't been there, then your opinion is based on nothing but supposition. "Oh I'd never do this" until it's you or your child. You have no idea if you haven't been there.

OP you are snippy and rude to parents of sick children responding on this thread because you don't like your SIL and you don't want anyone else to like her either.
Mrsdv I have not been snippy and rude, apart from to the pp who called me a judgemental cowbag. I have also said how sorry I am for pp in the situation of having a sick child, on more than one occasion. I do not hate my sil. I asked whether ppl would post that type of pic, I didn't ask if she would to do so. I understand her reasons (as explained by others). You are one entitled to your own opinion, but the judgement you made above came from a position of ignorance, as you obv are assuming things which are simply not true, even only going on what I have posted.

I'll also add that this thread is so far from the OP as to be a different thread altogether. And as such, I'll be getting it deleted.
Just for the record, in case you missed it Mrsdv et al, I'm not on FB, I was told about the photos by a family member who was very distressed by them. A text only update would not have had the same effect. Neither would a photo taken shortly afterwards in which said child had tubes etc removed.
Again, sorry to those with ill children in hospital - this was a one off situation which is not comparable to your circumstances, but has all seemed to be classed as the same by certain posters.
Thanks to those who replied to the stand alone Q I posted (whichever way you thought) without turning it into the unpleasant thread it is now.

I'm with you MrsDV. Why these snarky sneering fuckers have FB is beyond me. All they ever do is moan about it.

I don't 'have Facebook'. I had it for years, and got rid of it a few months ago. I'm still allowed to have an opinion on it.

I think some posters on this thread are ignoring the fact that the OP was not about chronically ill children, which several of us have said is a very different situation.

Cross-posted with the OP!

Yes, it a form of bullying in a way to take an OP and then twist it and exaggerate it into something it never was just to make a point. It's really not fair on the OP.

It was still a critically ill child though. Whether it was a one off or not is irrelevant. To judge the way a parent who is sat next to the bed of their seriously ill child is coping is horrible.

Yes, a critically ill child at the point the picture was taken, who at the point the picture was posted was no longer critically ill. Was making a fast recovery. So if the motivation in posting the photo was to show how ill they had been at their worst, fine. She's entitled to do so. It upset other people, which is the bit I was wondering about, when text or later photo would have been more representative of the situation at the time of update.

I wouldn't put any pic of my children on Feb or any social media. I use WhatsApp for family members, friends and if people close to me want to know about my kids lives and vice versa we keep in touch that way. I don't agree with kids lives being lived through social media yet they are given no choice and are too young to choose anyhow.

On fb

Attention seeking Twattery of the highest level. There are plenty of quick ways to inform those WHO NEED TO KNOW without the whole check in on FB with a photo.

I think some posters on this thread are ignoring the fact that the OP was not about chronically ill children

As always the thread was not just about the OP as soon as posters started generalising about the subject and claiming there is never justification for posting photos of sick children and that all photos are attention seeking

Noway can you get threads deleted now because they gone slightly off topic?

maddie why is this just about letting people know a child is in hospital?
A lot of the time it is just sharing a part of a child's life. The way those lucky enough to have healthy kids do all the time.

You are right that there are ways of letting people know but I would argue that none are as quick and as stress free for the parents as posting on FB.

Zzzz I don't have an aversion to be seen on social media unless well presented and posed. Please don't put words into my mouth. If you can't think of a reasoned response just don't reply.