To think this is not a picture you would post on Facebook

[Nowaynowjose]

SIL posts regularly about various problems, usually the half info type post which has lots of ppl sympathising and asking after more detail. Her young child recently had an issue which required hospitalisation, and was put on a ventilator for a day, fluid drained etc. Luckily, treatment has been positive and the worst is over. She will need to stay in for a few more days for observation.
The first we knew about it was from a post on FB, on entry to the hospital, although it wasn't clear which child was involved, or what the problem was. Subsequent updates have included photos of child with various tubes etc, which has been distressing for some family members to see (for various reasons). I understand FB is a fast way to update everyone at once, but AIBU to think posting the pics is a bit unnecessary? The poor child is ill, surely they deserve a bit more privacy than having these pics plastered on social media?

[Sirzy]

Why be "friends" with people you care so little about? Why not just delete them?

[GreeboIsACutePussPuss]

I think it depends on the age of the child. My teenage sister has been in and out of hospital since October last year, multiple operations, there was a coma, the priest was called in to give her last rites, twice. It's all been pretty dramatic. She has put up loads of photos, we even had a few days where she took close ups of random objects in the ward and asked her facebook friends to guess what they were. DD(8) found this great fun and when she was in hospital recently she insisted i took photos too.

[Nowaynowjose]

If you hate somebody on your friends list enough that you are judging them badly for what they do for support when they have a seriously ill child, then can I suggest maybe you take them off your list?! And have some words with yourself about being an unpleasant, judgemental person while you're at it, and hope you never have to walk in their shoes.
Sorry you have experienced this sort of thing, but some massive overreactions and assumptions are being made. This bears little relation to the actual OP I posted.
Firstly, I haven't been on FB myself for quite some time. I was notified by another family member who was very distressed by the picture. Yes, an update is welcome, but the pic was distressing. And I understand sil posts it as she's in a dark place and wants support, possibly also to take her mind off it.
Just because I have a different opinion on what is relevant to share on social media about another person, doesn't make me a judgement cowbag. If it did, most of us on here would be judgemental cowbags. Yourself included.

[Changesorter]

People deal with things thier own way. How they use thier social media is no business of yours. Use the unfollow option, take off your judgy pants and put away your gavel. Get on with your own life.

[Rhinosaur]

It does not bother me and if I didn't like it I wouldn't look or comment.
I've done it and would do it again - it was much easier to post a photo of my baby poorly to everyone than having to reply to each message individually. Putting a photo on grabbed the attention of people rather than just scrolling past a text only status.
Personally I couldn't deal with the texts asking how he was and with it being on Facebook I could switch off from it.
As other have said if you don't like it unfollow them!

[Nowaynowjose]

Well change, guess you haven't read my posts properly.

[ChilliMary]

Why does a persons whole life have to be played out on social media e.g FB?? Why such attention seeking? If you do have to constantly post every aspect of your life, don't put your kids photos on there, especially if they are in hospital!! They don't even have a choice, why invade their privacy like this?! This narcissism.

[KERALA1]

I don't "judge", hope I am not a "cowbag" and I certainly "get on with my own life". The fact people get so angry about this proves to me that actually, deep down you know its not right.

I cannot budge in my opinion that posting pictures of ill children on the internet is wrong. Sorry but there it is.

[SlothMama]

I think doing this is just attention seeking, fair enough if your child is in hospital long term and just want to do updates. But other than that I feel like the child has a right to privacy!
I wouldn't be happy with my Mum putting photos of me on FB when I was in hospital.

[Louiselouie0890]

It's not something I'd do but it's her business. Her child her Facebook etc.

[glitterlips1]

I've had two people now document their parents fading from and illness of which then knew they were dying from. It was horrible. I don't understand why people would do this. I don't put up very personal details about my life on facebook I thought most people have cottoned onto the fact it just isn't cool to put all their business on facebook anymore hence why it's mostly adverts and suggested pages nowadays!

[LaurieMarlow]

People cope with things on different ways. It clearly helps some people to do this.

If you don't like it, block them or come off Facebook entirely - it's not compulsory.

[Peaches44]

"There's a huge difference between posting a photo of a child who is stable, for example a picture of a child smiling with a bandage on their thumb, to say they are fine now and doing well and posting a photo of a hysterically crying child covered in blood with doctors swarming over them."

Couldn't agree more!

[TheFirstMrsDV]

There are a lot of clueless posters on this thread.
Lucky, lucky them.

OP you are snippy and rude to parents of sick children responding on this thread because you don't like your SIL and you don't want anyone else to like her either.

These kids are going to be older/adults one day
Are they?
A lot of them aren't and if their parents didn't share their 'gross' 'attention seeking' photographs no-one would ever see their children.

As always people dress up their discomfort about childhood illness and death as 'concern for the child'

This thread is about a dislike of an adult and not wanting to be reminded that kids get sick.

If you don't like it, don't look.

[KoalaDownUnder]

There are a lot of clueless posters on this thread.

They are just people with a different opinion to you.

You really have no way of knowing whether they are 'lucky, lucky' people or not.

[TheFirstMrsDV]

You know what?
I don't care if they are lucky or not.
I am sick of these snarky, unpleasant threads.
Every couple of months its the same judgemental shite.

Kids get sick and families deal with it in the best way they can.
There may be some attention seekers among them but the vast majority are just getting by.

There is absolutely nothing parenting related that someone won't sneer at. Even parents coping with seriously ill children are not exempt from the 'I would do that SO much better' fantasists.

These threads UPSET people. They are mean and small minded.

I spend my days supporting parents with sick kids and I lived that particular nightmare myself.

So I will continue to comment and challenge on these nasty little threads and if you don't like it Koala...well right back at ya.


And yes, anyone who is so sure the kids are all going to get older/become adults one day is indeed living in a lucky, lucky little world.

[Trixiebelle16]

It's attention seeking and exploitative not to mention intrusive. The boundaries between private and public have become too blurred and people now live their lives on social media and feel like they own the right to publish photos of other people because they only see other people in terms of their own narrative and image.

[Sirzy]

Well said mrsdv

It's also worth people remembering that just because it's not how you would cope, or how you think You would cope, doesn't mean it is the wrong way for people to cope.

[TheFirstMrsDV]

And still it continues.
Blah blah blah blah.

Not you Sirzy

'Exploitative' putting a photo of your child on your FB? Get a grip.

[Onhold]

I'm with you MrsDV. Why these snarky sneering fuckers have FB is beyond me. All they ever do is moan about it.

[Trixiebelle16]

Yes exploitative to use someone else's suffering in that way. Let them have some dignity there is absolutely no justification whatsoevr for putting photos of children who are suffering or vulnerable into a public forum to be commented on.

[Sirzy]

I assume those who are against it as it invades privacy or whatever never post any pictures of their children on fb? Even that of course is a personal choice and doesn't mean you can judge others for making another choice.

[LaurieMarlow]

there's a certain cohort, well represented on mumsnet who don't seem to get social media.

People can get a lot of comfort from documenting the bad times as well as the good, getting support from their wilder networks, knowing that they and their family matter to others. I know someone with a very ill little boy. She posts about him frequently. The likes, the comments, the acknowledgements give her a certain strength.

Just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean it's wrong.

People often do live their lives on social median now. It's time to get used to it. If you don't like it, you can always turn off the feed.

[TheFirstMrsDV]

Yes exploitative to use someone else's suffering in that way

So you think parents of sick kids shouldn't be allowed to show off pictures of their children?

What are the rules? On diagnosis the child is placed in purdah and no images may be shared until a cure is achieved?
Guess its tough on those with life limiting and terminal conditions then.
All those kids on 3-4 year cancer treatment, with CF, congenital conditions, complex medical issues etc.
They just have to be hidden away so their suffering is not exploited.
Or their presence doesn't jolt someone scrolling through their FB feed and ruins five minutes of their day