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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let DD jack in her summer job?

201 replies

fjieopwfjqer · 05/07/2017 20:48

DD (21) says she hates her summer job and wants to quit. Thinks her co-workers are rude to her and the work is dull. She's only been there a month! I told her she's lazy and has terrible work ethic, to which the waterworks came out. Hmm Tbf she's been working since 16, but she's moaned about every single job she's ever had (supermarkets/coffee shops) and I'm bloody tired of it. DD is medicated for depression but I think she's trying to pull on my conscience by saying work makes her miserable, etc. Think she's also moody because her mates are jaunting round Europe and bf is off in the US. She's a hard worker academically (doing a masters in sept) but she's so flipping lazy otherwise. AIBU to not let her laze around all summer? Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
fjieopwfjqer · 05/07/2017 21:06

SlothMama This is what i think... granted she hasn't given up on a job yet but it's the moaning i cant deal with! she's very introverted and shy so my guess would be she hates the fact she has to deal with people all day

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 05/07/2017 21:07

People moan about work. That's just normal life isn't it?

FleetwoodMacDonalds · 05/07/2017 21:07

I agree Sad but to be honest so many students were so much savvier than me at finding cheap trips abroad! Flights for a tenner, hostels for £15. I was always impressed Grin

FleetwoodMacDonalds · 05/07/2017 21:08

That was to islands by the way Grin

Original poster
fjieopwfjqer · 05/07/2017 21:10

I just find her very unlike DH and I... we've always been hard workers, none of this depression nonsense like all young people seem to have these days. DD is a very emotional person when she's around us (seems fine around her mates tho!). Don't really know how to deal with her and she never seems to want to talk to me anyway.

OP posts:
Guepe · 05/07/2017 21:10

YABVU.

You say she studies hard and that she's worked since she was 16. So what if she's moaned about previous jobs, people moan about their work, that's normal. She is suffering from and being treated for depression.

She's not enjoying her current job and she'll be moving away in one month anyway. I don't see the point in her being miserable for one month, particularly as she has savings, eBay income and the inheritance if needed.

Your comments towards her sound inaccurate, unsupportive and mean-spirited.

LondonBees · 05/07/2017 21:10

we would never again have the same freedom to travel for months (at least until retirement)

Such bullshit.

Nothing stopping a 30+ year old travelling for months on end. It's not just for young students.

ScoobyDoosTinklyLaugh · 05/07/2017 21:11

If she was my daughter I'd tell her to tell her boss to shove it and book some plane tickets somewhere exciting.

Christ, I regret not travelling when I could.

ilovesooty · 05/07/2017 21:12

depression nonsenseAngry

I'm not surprised she doesn't want to talk to you.

ScoobyDoosTinklyLaugh · 05/07/2017 21:13

Crosspost. You're a horrible shit OP.

PurpleDaisies · 05/07/2017 21:13

I just find her very unlike DH and I... we've always been hard workers, none of this depression nonsense like all young people seem to have these days.
Are you deliberately trying to get inflammatory or are you just an ignorant arse? Depression nonsense? Biscuit

peachgreen · 05/07/2017 21:13

*this depression nonsense
*
Well, this explains a lot. Your poor daughter. No wonder she doesn't talk to you.

rollonthesummer · 05/07/2017 21:13

She's worked since she was 16 and presumably has GCSEs, A levels and a degree if she is going to be starting a masters? She doesn't sound very lazy to me! I cannot imagine talking about my children the way you just have.

Jejemere · 05/07/2017 21:13

none of this depression nonsense like all young people seem to have these days
horrible way to talk about mental health.
I'd suggest she gets away from you and goes travelling until she moves in with her boyfriend, has some fun.

FleetwoodMacDonalds · 05/07/2017 21:14

LondonBees I agree that many people may be able to take such extended trips later in life, but for many others life gets in the way (family, lack of holidays from work and savings, etc.) Sorry if I'm wording my posts badly Blush but I think the general point he was making is that it is easier to make such travels with the lack of commitments that typically come with youth

RebelRogue · 05/07/2017 21:14

none of this depression nonsense like all young people seem to have these days

How's the weather under the bridge OP?

No one can really be that thick when it comes to their own child. Well my mum can but she wouldn't use mumsnet.

TroubleinDaFamily · 05/07/2017 21:14

Total thread hijack...

My DS 16 is becoming more and more entitled... Sad

I organised his Y10 work experience, he thinks/thought this was great......... he is going to be working at the lumber yard arm of our business and from what I can gather from the sawmills manager today, most of the time he will be pulling nails out of wood so we can sell them as reclaimed.

I have high hopes for Y11, his four days work experience should focus him nicely. Grin

Purplemac · 05/07/2017 21:14

Shit. If you were my mum I wouldn't want to talk to you either. Try a bit of fucking empathy for your daughter who has an illness for fucks sake.

Original poster
fjieopwfjqer · 05/07/2017 21:15

Perhaps 'depression nonsense' was the wrong way to put it (although DH firmly believes it's a phenomenon of the snowflake generation), but I don't remember any of my age group being depressed at 21!

OP posts:
crazycatgal · 05/07/2017 21:15

*None of this depression nonsense
*
You are a class A arsehole. I've struggled with anxiety and depression for years, and I feel incredibly sorry that your daughter has a mother with such disgusting views rather than one who would support her.

KatherinaMinola · 05/07/2017 21:16

You sound really unsupportive. I'm not surprised she's depressed!

So she's been slogging away at school and then university, done well enough in her degree to do a master's and during all this time has held down part-time NMW jobs? And now, having finished her degree and gone straight onto another NMW job, she'd quite like a break and a holiday somewhere before starting her second degree? All sounds entirely reasonable to me.

Is she the first person in your family to go on to higher education? I ask because you don't seem to appreciate her hard work to get this far.

peachgreen · 05/07/2017 21:16

You and your DH are both unkind, unreasonable and very, very wrong.

Guepe · 05/07/2017 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PurpleDaisies · 05/07/2017 21:17

Bloody hell op, when you're in a hole, stop digging.
Just because you don't remember people being depressed doesn't for a minute mean that they weren't.

RebelRogue · 05/07/2017 21:17

And why exactly do you get a say in how she spends her inheritance? It's her money and she's an adult.

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