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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was my DH BU for making the neighbour wash his dog's piss off our car?

385 replies

Worriedaboutsmear · 02/07/2017 13:03

We have a neighbour about 4 doors away who has several dogs and is often seen walking past our house taking his dogs out. He's never spoken to us since we moved here 3 years ago, never smiled back, and if we are outside when he is walking past, he looks at the pavement. He does seem to talk to some of the other neighbours

A few weeks ago both DH and I were at home during the day, when said neighbour walked one of his dogs past. We just happened to be looking out the front window (as you do when you notice someone walking past), when we saw the dog lifting his leg and pissing against one of our rear car wheels and the bottom part of the bumper . The neighbour didn't seem to make any attempt to tug at his collar, he just carried on looking at the pavement, and so the dog carried on until he was finished. The neighbour then proceeded to carry on with his walk.

DH's instant reaction was to knock on the window to stop the neighbour from walking on, and gestured to him (like a "what are you doing" kind of gesture), he then went outside while I stayed inside.

I saw them have a few words, which was DH pointing at the car and not looking very happy, the neighbour appeared to be shrugging but apologising, and then went back to the direction of his house.

DH came back in and said that he politely asked him to make sure his dog doesn't do his business on our car again and that he wants it washing off. I'm not as assertive as DH so I told him that it wasn't necesssary to get him to wash it off, as long as he tries to not let his dog do it again, but DH's view was that if he was someone that actually acknowledged us from time to time rather than ignoring our existence then he would've taken that view, but why should we when he clearly doesn't like us etc etc

The neighbour appeared about 2 mins later just with his wife now and a bucket and brush.
Whilst washing it off they didn't look up.

Ever since then, the neighbour has gone from not much acknowledging us, to now grimacing at us, staring across at our house when he walks past, and furthermore, making a point of crossing the road just before he gets to our house and then crossing back to this side once past our house.

Could I kindly just ask for the general consensus of who WBU here, should my DH not have said anything and/or not asked him to wash it off? I said to my DH that maybe he felt humiliated but DH said that it's arrogant of him to think his dog can piss where ever he likes and not accept the consequences if it's against someone else's personal property.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 02/07/2017 13:21

once again... I'm with the husband.. your neighbour can't let his dog PISS on peoples property... that's just rude

well done OP's hubby lol

BewareOfDragons · 02/07/2017 13:22

I'm with your DH. A good dog owner would let his/her dog spray wee all over someone else's car. Revolting.

I think you should be happy with the result. It's not like your neighbour liked you two anyway, so who cares what he thinks?

BeepBeepMOVE · 02/07/2017 13:22

Oh, slightly different option now you say it was on drive. I am very careful to not let my dog walk on others driveways. I'd have defo said something about him letting the dog piss on your actual property- assumed it was on the kerb. Still wouldn't have made him wash it though.

ArcturianMegaDonkey · 02/07/2017 13:23

Totally with DH on this one (though I wouldn't have dared myself). Public spaces are not one giant dog toilet, and letting your dog piss all over someone else's property is disgusting. People out-rank dogs - some dog owners seem to have problems with that concept.

WorraLiberty · 02/07/2017 13:25

Asking him to wash it off was OTT

Asking him to wash it off because the piss belonged to a dog whose owner doesn't talk to you or your DH, is just weird.

Sounds like your DH has more of a problem with the neighbour not liking him, than he does with dog's piss.

FrancisCrawford · 02/07/2017 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FoxSticks · 02/07/2017 13:27

Is it normal for dogs to piss on cars? I'm not a dog owner and if I saw one weeing on my car is be a bit Hmm I wouldn't ask them to clean it but I wouldn't be happy. I'm wondering if it's alright in dog owners eyes but a surprise to everyone else.

diddl · 02/07/2017 13:29

I don't let my dog go onto people's property-I think that that is what puts the dog owner thoroughly in the wrong in this case.

cansu · 02/07/2017 13:29

Your dh knows how not to make friends with a neighbour. Your car drives through mud and roadkill. It is rained on and pooed on by birds. Massive over reaction which will not help neighbourly relations.

FoxSticks · 02/07/2017 13:30

Just seen your update - I'd be even more annoyed on my drive. The dog shouldn't be on your property.

NoBetterName · 02/07/2017 13:31

I suspect that if a thread were started by the neighbour, he may have a slightly different version of events to tell. Often is the case in these things.

BadLad · 02/07/2017 13:31

If your car was some way into your drive, your DH is my hero.

ChicRock · 02/07/2017 13:33

Your DH was making a point because he doesn't like the neighbour, by his own admittance.

He sounds like a bit of a bullying twat.

Perhaps the water used to wash it off contained a concoction of the strongest chemicals they could find in their cupboards - look out for paint fade on the car in the next couple of weeks Grin a bit of dog piss won't seem so bad then.

redladybird · 02/07/2017 13:34

Good on him for pulling him up on it. Revolting. He won't let his dog do again! I came out of my house to a dog on a long lead pissing all over the pathway on my drive leading to my front door. Disgusting. I gave the owner what for of course, she messed with the wrong person that day!

winglesspegasus · 02/07/2017 13:37

dog piss is extremely caustic.ndn dog rotted my metal fence.
new ndn has a masty who leaves fly attracting piles on my lawn now.
but they do try to clean it up. so yes i think dh did right.
just plan rude to let your animal relieve itself on someone elses property.
if a human did it you would all be up in arms.

Benedikte2 · 02/07/2017 13:40

I don't think he was BU. The fact that the car might get dirty through other agencies in beside the point -- it was fouled up your own driveway by a dog (not under proper control) that trespassed onto your property. Most of us would probably not feel able to request that the owner washed the car so all credit to your DH for his reasonable request. The fact that the dog owner has never been a pleasant neighbour means you have not lost anything by this incident. As for "bullying" DH did not threaten the neighbour and I guess would not have gone knocking on their door if they had not appeared with a bucket.
It is natural for male dogs to cock their legs but the dog walker should be in control as to where the dog is permitted to do that.
Good luck to you both OP

IloveBanff · 02/07/2017 13:40

If the neighbour looks at the ground he probably hasn't seen you smiling at him, so obviously wouldn't smile back. It's entirely possible that the man is simply share or not sociable. That's allowed. I think it was a bit OTT to demand that he wash it off, but at least it will never happen again as he's giving your house a wide berth, so it's a result I suppose.

IloveBanff · 02/07/2017 13:41

I meant "shy" not "share" above.

theymademejoin · 02/07/2017 13:43

Dog walker was absolutely wrong to allow the dog go into your drive or to wee on the car. However, your dh was way OTT.

Asking the owner to ensure the dog didn't do it again was reasonable but telling him up clean it was not, particularly as he said he wouldn't have done so if the neighbour was friendly.

namechangefox · 02/07/2017 13:44

The neighbour was being unreasonable for letting his dog onto your driveway.

But insisting the piss is washed off? Barking.

toboldlygo · 02/07/2017 13:44

Neighbour should have prevented the dog from doing it in the first place but an apology and assurance it wouldn't happen again should have been sufficient. To make him come back and wash it off is the action of a controlling bully.

The neighbour was also under no obligation to smile or exchange pleasantries with you before and I certainly can't blame him for not wanting to now.

Chattymummyhere · 02/07/2017 13:44

Good on your dh. He let his dog wonder onto your property and then wee on your car damn right I would be having words and asking them to clean up. The dog shouldn't be on your drive in the first place to be able to wee on your car while the owner just ignores the situation.

stuntcamel · 02/07/2017 13:46

Yuk. Nobody wants dog piss on their car, good for your DH. A neighbour of mine used to let their dog 'use' a really lovely conifer in my garden where it bordered the footpath. Poor tree went all brown on one side, and died in the end.

pilates · 02/07/2017 13:52

On your drive YANBU

PocaMiseria · 02/07/2017 13:54

I wasn't too sure until you said the car was well up your drive. In that case the dog walker had absolutely no right to let it do what it did and you DP was perfectly entitled to ask him to wash it off.
One of the dog walkers from the local flats lets his beast piss on our front doors and doorsteps (town centre, no driveways) and got really bolshy with me when I pulled him up on it. "The rain will wash it off" - yeah, right, in the middle of a heatwave when it stinks to high heaven. Next time I'll be getting a bucket of soapy water out and washing my door before the dog has finished!