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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was my DH BU for making the neighbour wash his dog's piss off our car?

385 replies

Worriedaboutsmear · 02/07/2017 13:03

We have a neighbour about 4 doors away who has several dogs and is often seen walking past our house taking his dogs out. He's never spoken to us since we moved here 3 years ago, never smiled back, and if we are outside when he is walking past, he looks at the pavement. He does seem to talk to some of the other neighbours

A few weeks ago both DH and I were at home during the day, when said neighbour walked one of his dogs past. We just happened to be looking out the front window (as you do when you notice someone walking past), when we saw the dog lifting his leg and pissing against one of our rear car wheels and the bottom part of the bumper . The neighbour didn't seem to make any attempt to tug at his collar, he just carried on looking at the pavement, and so the dog carried on until he was finished. The neighbour then proceeded to carry on with his walk.

DH's instant reaction was to knock on the window to stop the neighbour from walking on, and gestured to him (like a "what are you doing" kind of gesture), he then went outside while I stayed inside.

I saw them have a few words, which was DH pointing at the car and not looking very happy, the neighbour appeared to be shrugging but apologising, and then went back to the direction of his house.

DH came back in and said that he politely asked him to make sure his dog doesn't do his business on our car again and that he wants it washing off. I'm not as assertive as DH so I told him that it wasn't necesssary to get him to wash it off, as long as he tries to not let his dog do it again, but DH's view was that if he was someone that actually acknowledged us from time to time rather than ignoring our existence then he would've taken that view, but why should we when he clearly doesn't like us etc etc

The neighbour appeared about 2 mins later just with his wife now and a bucket and brush.
Whilst washing it off they didn't look up.

Ever since then, the neighbour has gone from not much acknowledging us, to now grimacing at us, staring across at our house when he walks past, and furthermore, making a point of crossing the road just before he gets to our house and then crossing back to this side once past our house.

Could I kindly just ask for the general consensus of who WBU here, should my DH not have said anything and/or not asked him to wash it off? I said to my DH that maybe he felt humiliated but DH said that it's arrogant of him to think his dog can piss where ever he likes and not accept the consequences if it's against someone else's personal property.

OP posts:
TeachesOfPeaches · 04/07/2017 08:06

I was very uncomfortable reading that post OP. You DH comes across as a bully who wanted to teach the rude neighbour a lesson.

Coffeetasteslikeshit · 04/07/2017 08:35

If your DH had asked me to wash off his car tyre I would have laughed as I would assume he was joking as no-one is that anal about car tyres.

Although apparently they are, who knew? You learn something new every day.

I also think your DH is a bully, for all the reasons stated by pp, and I would also be crossing the road to avoid your house.

I don't think there's any point in trying to be friends with them now, as someone else said, that ship has truly sailed.

morningconstitutional2017 · 04/07/2017 08:38

I don't think your DH was BU about this, after all the neighbour only lives about four doors down and therefore easy enough to fetch a bucket or watering can and rinse the car down.

We can't be sure of the actual words your DH used. Perhaps your neighbour lacks social skills and is extremely shy about talking to people he doesn't know very well. But now he'll never make the effort.

DixieNormas · 04/07/2017 08:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Summerof85 · 04/07/2017 08:57

I've only read the first page but wanted to comment. You said your car was parked on your driveway and quite far up your drive. So the neighbour allowed his dog to walk on your property then urinate on your car, I would have been livid. This was a reason we put gates up, happens all the time here- people, kids and dogs walking across gardens and driveways. So I think your husband was NOT being unreasonable!

monkeymamma · 04/07/2017 09:03

'Perhaps the neighbour has anxiety', 'perhaps he's very shy' WTF imagination running wild on here! No, the guy is a pisstaker who lets his dog urinate on other people's things. I can't believe the DH in this story is supposed to just sit there smiling benignly.

Summerof85 · 04/07/2017 09:06

Also it's not just the fact of the urinating on the car, it's the complete lack of respect for your property.

KoalaDownUnder · 04/07/2017 09:11

I can't believe the DH in this story is supposed to just sit there smiling benignly.

TBF, there's a lot of middle ground between that and demanding your neighbour wash the tyre.

How about asking him not to do it again, then taking 30 seconds to spray the tyre off with your own hose, if you're that bothered. Like a normal person.

waitforitfdear · 04/07/2017 09:23

You can always tell the knobs and saddos in the street. They are the Sunday car washes and usually think having a big clean car makes their knobs bigger.

So glad I am not married to a nasty bully. Hopefully op one day your dh will pick on the wrong older person thinking they are easy prey and he gets his just deserts.

Babbitywabbit · 04/07/2017 09:26

Social anxiety is no excuse for being disrespectful to others' property.

And while I don't for a minute think washing my car makes my Dhs knob bigger or my tits bigger (bizarre fantasies some posters are living out here Grin ) I still don't want other people's dogs pissing up our cars.
Simple.

bimbobaggins · 04/07/2017 09:29

You can always tell the pushovers in the street, happy to sit back and let people walk all over them , I mean You only need to read the threads on mumsnet, peepholes through fences, accompanying you and your child to an activity because they can't say no, and many many more but when someone politely asks someone whose dog pissed on their car they a a controlling, bully

Mrstiggywink49 · 04/07/2017 09:55

Some of you are soooo uptight and angry.......a dog cocked his leg up a car, the rain will wash it off, the sun will dry it.....have a gin & tonic and stop making mountains out of molehills!

Coffeetasteslikeshit · 04/07/2017 10:15

Exactly MrsTiggy. The things people get het up over Shock

Baalam · 04/07/2017 10:17

Yes I'm truly amazed that people don't have anything more to get worked up about. Stop obsessing over your neighbours and get out more?

squishysquirmy · 04/07/2017 10:18

"Social anxiety is no excuse for being disrespectful to others' property."

Of course not.
But it does seem to be why the dh went so far, when he admitted that if it was anyone else on the street he would not have gone so far.

I don't think there is anyone on this thread saying the dh was wrong to have a word with the guy, but ordering him to scrub his car wheel? And admitting that part of the the reason was not just the dog piss, but because the guy stares at the pavement a lot? Makes me feel really uncomfortable imagining that scene.

ChangelingToday · 04/07/2017 10:27

There really was no need to make the man wash the pee off, that was just over the top completely. What's wrong with him not wanting to socialise with the neighbours, so what if he keeps to himself?! That's his prerogative! Your husband sounds like he was just lashing out.

The neighbor should not have allowed him on the property however.

bluediamonds · 04/07/2017 11:16

I don't even let my dog piss up peoples walls/bins etc let alone piss on the car!

YDHWNBU!

AwaywiththePixies27 · 04/07/2017 11:54

but now he'll never make the effort

So now the DH has had 'polite words' with him. Newsflash. Polite words never make people go inside and get a brush and bucket so I don't believe that for a second.

Dogwalker has to make the effort with arrogant DH? Hmm

Yeah you can jog right on with that.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 04/07/2017 11:56

I've only read the first page but wanted to comment.

Then maybe try reading the rest?

The OP said their DH wouldn't have made him wash it off if he'd acknowledged them once or twice.

haveacupoftea · 04/07/2017 11:59

Forcing him to clean it was humiliating and unnecessary. Your husband sounds like a horrible man.

Once a dog starts pissing it's not really as simple as tugging it away. You can't really interrupt them mid piss as understandably they are reluctant to move and dragging a dog by a collar can damage its windpipe.

NellieBuff · 04/07/2017 12:09

AwaywiththePixies27 = yep you found him Grin

Funny how the OP never came back - probably terrorising some other poor neighbour for some other minor infringements of her rights and property

waitforitfdear · 04/07/2017 16:28

Vile behaviour from them both. Hope the neighbour has a younger family member who can confront the bullies.

waitforitfdear · 04/07/2017 18:32

bimbobaggins

Clearly you have different ideas on what constitutes a push over, a decent person and a bully.

Shame

NoBetterName · 04/07/2017 19:44

Saw this cartoon and it made me think of this thread Grin

Was my DH BU for making the neighbour wash his dog's piss off our car?