Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was my DH BU for making the neighbour wash his dog's piss off our car?

385 replies

Worriedaboutsmear · 02/07/2017 13:03

We have a neighbour about 4 doors away who has several dogs and is often seen walking past our house taking his dogs out. He's never spoken to us since we moved here 3 years ago, never smiled back, and if we are outside when he is walking past, he looks at the pavement. He does seem to talk to some of the other neighbours

A few weeks ago both DH and I were at home during the day, when said neighbour walked one of his dogs past. We just happened to be looking out the front window (as you do when you notice someone walking past), when we saw the dog lifting his leg and pissing against one of our rear car wheels and the bottom part of the bumper . The neighbour didn't seem to make any attempt to tug at his collar, he just carried on looking at the pavement, and so the dog carried on until he was finished. The neighbour then proceeded to carry on with his walk.

DH's instant reaction was to knock on the window to stop the neighbour from walking on, and gestured to him (like a "what are you doing" kind of gesture), he then went outside while I stayed inside.

I saw them have a few words, which was DH pointing at the car and not looking very happy, the neighbour appeared to be shrugging but apologising, and then went back to the direction of his house.

DH came back in and said that he politely asked him to make sure his dog doesn't do his business on our car again and that he wants it washing off. I'm not as assertive as DH so I told him that it wasn't necesssary to get him to wash it off, as long as he tries to not let his dog do it again, but DH's view was that if he was someone that actually acknowledged us from time to time rather than ignoring our existence then he would've taken that view, but why should we when he clearly doesn't like us etc etc

The neighbour appeared about 2 mins later just with his wife now and a bucket and brush.
Whilst washing it off they didn't look up.

Ever since then, the neighbour has gone from not much acknowledging us, to now grimacing at us, staring across at our house when he walks past, and furthermore, making a point of crossing the road just before he gets to our house and then crossing back to this side once past our house.

Could I kindly just ask for the general consensus of who WBU here, should my DH not have said anything and/or not asked him to wash it off? I said to my DH that maybe he felt humiliated but DH said that it's arrogant of him to think his dog can piss where ever he likes and not accept the consequences if it's against someone else's personal property.

OP posts:
AwaywiththePixies27 · 03/07/2017 19:26

You can tell who the dogowners are.

Ironically you can't. Given you know, I don't own one Hmm

AwaywiththePixies27 · 03/07/2017 19:32

So now I am picturing a very easily intimidated, shy person being forced to wash his dog's piss off in front of your "assertive" dh and yourself

Exactly.

All he had to do was acknowledge some random neighbour four doors down ans smile at him every now and then and then he wouldn't have gone totally OTT and batshit at the man.

I've lived here six years. I dont even talk to the man two doors down. Nor him to me. I mean literally hasn't, we had a power cut one night and all the neighbours were out talking to each other. He still never said a word. It's alright though. As long as I never cock my leg up his car and smile at him a couple of times it'll continue to be fine. Grin

Shewhomustgowithoutname · 03/07/2017 19:33

Strikealight - very true you would never know if a dog owner would do the decent thing and use some product designed to clean up dog pee on a car especially since they did not have the decency not to allow the dog to pee on the car in the first place.

umeraven85 · 03/07/2017 19:37

Selfish pet owners then?

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 03/07/2017 19:37

You can tell who the dog owners are.

Would you like to make a list for us to confirm? No? That's right, because you have no idea who the dog owners are.

OP, you and your husband both sound like dicks following your update. Who do you think you are to decide that everybody should want to talk to you? Confused Please don't get your "D"H to talk to the man: he obviously doesn't want the pleasure of your family's company. Hence the last three years.

Writermom22 · 03/07/2017 19:39

The main issue here is that the car was on the drive and so the dog was trespassing and his owner should have stopped that.

But come on, di you know how many dogs, cats, bugs and birds piss and shit all over your car when it's parked in a public place?

By all means, have a word about the dog coming onto your property, but as for getting the guy to wash it, that was a step too far.

waitforitfdear · 03/07/2017 19:42

Yeuk you both sound like bullies. It's dog wee not poo.

Your poor neighbour. If you bullied my dad that way you wouldn't get away with it. I expect if your neighbour had been younger and stronger your dh wouldn't be flexing his muscles?

gemma19846 · 03/07/2017 19:43

Its a car tyre ffs, the dog didnt piss on his leg. Ridiculous! I wouldnt of washed it off the car goes through dirty puddles and all sorts!!!! Probably runs over road kill and dog shit all the time with them tyres!!! DH isnt eating off them, whats the big deal with abit of dog piss!

AwaywiththePixies27 · 03/07/2017 19:47

Selfish pet owners then?

Still wouldn't work. I dont even own a goldfish.

I still think the DH is U.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 03/07/2017 19:51

But come on, di you know how many dogs, cats, bugs and birds piss and shit all over your car when it's parked in a public place?

Yes. My NDNs twatcat brazenly sleeps on my DCs trampoline in the sunshine. Then gets up, sprays all over it, and walks off.

Do I shoo him gently off? Of course. Does it piss me off? Of course. Do I go around to the Neighbour and demand they clean it off each time? No because I'm not an arrogant knob and I bet he's not the only cat that does this in pixies garden.

strikealight · 03/07/2017 19:51

You do know that dogs piss on your gate post too. That's also your property.

Baalam · 03/07/2017 19:54

I really hope he puts dog poo under your tyre in the night. Sorry but you and your dh sound delightful Hmm

ArchieStar · 03/07/2017 20:06

I really hope he puts dog poo under your tyre in the night. Sorry but you and your dh sound delightfulHmm

Some people may contemplate putting it under the door handles Grin

Writermom22 · 03/07/2017 20:08

@AwaywiththePixies27

Hilarious! I have a cat but he's an indoor cat, so he doesn't hurt anyone. But there is one (a cat) near our work car park which regularly sprays everyone's tyres!

strikealight · 03/07/2017 20:11

I wonder why he never smiles at you or dh.

MsJudgemental · 03/07/2017 20:16

We didn't know our 10-year-old neutered tom cat sprayed until there was an incident in our street and he marched up to a police car parked next to our house and pissed all over it.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 03/07/2017 20:19

But there is one (a cat) near our work car park which regularly sprays everyone's tyres!

The most hilarious thing about it is they used to go batshit at all the neighbours for their cats peeing in THEIR garden. They hated cats with a passion until they had a mouse problem they couldn't get rid of.

Let's hope your twatcat never comes within OPs DHs cars vicinity. It'll be the first time you've seen a cat with a bucket and brush in their hands/paws. Wink

LucieLucie · 03/07/2017 20:29

I'm in the your dh was being an abusive twat camp.

It's fucking dog wee not a acid!! If your in the uk it's very likely to be washed off naturally by rain soon!

Bumpers are made of plastic and tyres run over all sorts of yuk including faeces and roadkill you know.

Do you not think cats pee on cats or other property?!

Does your car overhang the pavement??

It sounds to me like you've got a chip on your shoulders about not being spoken to or welcomed by this man and gave jumped on an opportunity to berate him.

Have you ever stopped to think this man may have mental health issues?? Walks with his head down etc. He complied with the farcical instruction to was dog pee off your car fgs. You both come across like bullying snobs wrapped up in your in self importance tbh.

Have a bit of humility and see the poor man as a human being. You have no idea what is going on in people's lives.

You made him get down and scrub your car, shameless. Biscuit

NoBetterName · 03/07/2017 20:47

The irony of a cat owner claiming they they have to put up with dog wee. I wish the owner of the cat that keeps shitting in the bushes right by my front door would gain their moggy to go poo on their own property. What cat owners usually fail to realise is that cats poo and see on other people's properties when they are not being supervised by their owners because cats are free to roam.

That's also not to mention the danger cats pose to the bird population.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 03/07/2017 20:47

LucieLucie that was already suggested by pps and readily derided by the OP a few posts back.

Also OP. Your neighbour isn't 'passively aggressively walking on the other side'. He's doing what most sensible people do. Avoiding the OTT bloke at No5.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 03/07/2017 20:51

That's also not to mention the danger cats pose to the bird population.

Ha. I once saw a wood pigeon start eating his mates insides that had been attacked by a cat. (was in the middle or phoning RSPB). The man that came to collect the body said they do it regularly. Some birds are dangerous to birds too. Wink

MMMMMaria · 03/07/2017 20:52

Hummmm, difficult one. I would have addressed the nbr and expected them to stop the dog peeing on my car in the future. My husband would be really annoyed that he showed no sign of stopping the dog peeing on the car (which most reasonable dog owners would stop their dog from doing) and would have asked for it to be cleaned off. The car was not overhanging the pavement as the OP said it was quite far up the driveway. The only thing that stopped me supporting the OP's DH is the precious post saying that the nbr might have mental health issues. I'd ask the tithed nbrs and proceed according to that response.

strikealight · 03/07/2017 20:57

How do you make another adult come and wash your tyres without being an intimidating bully?

OCSockOrphanage · 03/07/2017 21:02

You are all completely bonkers to get so over-invested in anything so trivial.

Hepzibar · 03/07/2017 21:04

For the first time ever - I haven't read the whole thread but just came on to say Fucking too right. Good for your DH.

No problem with people having animals, as long as they shit and piss in their own backyard and not on anyone else's property or public areas.

The vociferous pro animal brigade get right up my nose.