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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have the most unfortunately named love rival?

302 replies

RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 00:36

I'm only just back with my dh after we split for a time and suddenly I find Jolene is back in our county and wants to get back in touch with him?

Every time I sound off about the fact they got history and she's always fancied him people start singing fucking Dolly Parton!

Last time I got really torn up over it and confidied in my dsis and BIL he put the damn song on and laughed for a whole few minutes and I forgave him because everyone was a bit drunk and stoned but them
Mary Anne never lets me forget either and she's meant to be close family Angry

Just to clarify he'd never cheat on me and never has.

OP posts:
BabsGanoush · 02/07/2017 09:34

Jolene...the moustache bleach?

Bluntness100 · 02/07/2017 09:36

Is her beauty beyond compare? Does he talk about her in his sleep? Inquiring minds need to know?

Summerswallow · 02/07/2017 09:37

No-one is a 'perfect dad and husband' because everyone is real and flawed, you just are telling yourself to paper over the cracks (of your shared alcohol and his cannabis habit). You probably told your therapist he was a perfect dad as well.

It just isn't real, and it will collapse again. Good luck, I don't think Jolene is the problem here.

hollyisalovelyname · 02/07/2017 09:38

So long Marianne Mary Anne

DistanceCall · 02/07/2017 10:19

he's turned himself around and is being a perfect dad and husband

Oh good. He's stopped drinking and smoking weed? He no longer keeps a stash of skunk in the home where your daughter can find it? He does't get drunk when he takes your daughter to the park? Your daughter doesn't stink of weed anymore? Can you bring children over? Your daugher doesn't swear any more? He doesn't threaten you and punch near your head when he gets angry? He doesn't get drunk any more (only you)?

No? So why did your therapist kick you out? What didn't you tell her?

dontbesillyhenry · 02/07/2017 10:28

You both sound like losers in life. Your poor child. Where was she last night incidentally when you were getting pissed and stoned? If I knew you professionally or personally I would be on to SS until they intervened.

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 10:36

Since when was getting drunk on a Saturday night a problem with alcohol?!

Because of health reasons I barely touched a drop this year till resently.

Ok he's not perfect because no one is. He still drinks and smokes weed daily but very moderately and there's zero aggression.

Daytime is family time and he does not smoke spliffs and drink in playgrounds anymore ever. In fact we're off to the playground in a minute.

She doesn't swear anymore, we have play dates and life is good.

As for Jolene I'm so embarrassed I started this thread and he's never cheated on me EVER Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 10:37

And were not losers. He works full time and we have a nice full life.

OP posts:
DistanceCall · 02/07/2017 10:40

Nobody gives a shit whether he cheats on you or not.

We care about your daughter. The one you have your head so stuck up your own selfish bottom that you can't see how having a druggie drunk as a father (and, it seems, a drunk mother) is damaging her.

You don't deserve your child. I hope SS get her off your hands asap, I really do.

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 10:45

That's really harsh distance I know we're good parents and everyone around us knows we're good parents.

OP posts:
stitchglitched · 02/07/2017 10:47

This is the guy who throttled you with your child nearby, and who blew so much money on drugs that you couldn't buy your child a winter coat? Yeah great Dad and partner. The fact that you are more concerned about him cheating that the fact that your 3 year old needed input for anger issues says it all about where your priorities lie.

Mumofazoo · 02/07/2017 10:48

I have to say I completely agree with DistanceCall how can someone be a good parent when they smoke weed around their child.

AmysTiara · 02/07/2017 10:49

Your poor poor daughter. You really need to consider her in this car crash of a relationship.

stitchglitched · 02/07/2017 10:50

Your family think you are good parents because you lie to them about everything so they don't think badly of your husband. The professional therapist, who got the tiniest glimpse of the truth, ditched you because you are refusing to engage and believes SS should be involved. I hope to God someone calls them soon.

DistanceCall · 02/07/2017 10:50

everyone around us knows we're good parents

Yeah, your family. Those who are happy to drink themselves into unconsciousness and smoke weed in front of children.

Had any children over at home to play with your daughter recently?

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 10:51

Eesh!! I talking about the cheating (or lack of) because that's what this thread was started on.

If i was starting an update on my family I'd say her anger is much better as is his. That she's doing brilliantly at nursery and is happy and content. That I do anything for her and that she's the love of my life.

We have money to meet all her needs plus more on top for treats.

People can change FFS!!!

OP posts:
BeepBeepMOVE · 02/07/2017 10:52

White stripes cover version is awesome!

Also drug addict and great father do not go together. You sound deluded!

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 10:52

Yes we have play dates all the time

OP posts:
stitchglitched · 02/07/2017 10:52

Does he still drink and take drugs?

DistanceCall · 02/07/2017 10:52

Look, I get it. For whatever fucked-up reason, you are IN LUUUUUUURVE with this man and won't split up with him because it's "fate" (fate doesn't exist, by the way. What you do with your life is your own responsibility).

As I said, you're completely free to fuck up your life in any way you see fit. But do the right thing by your daughter and give her up. You are not fit parents, neither one of you.

DistanceCall · 02/07/2017 10:53

At home? With the weed-smoking dad around?

Nah, sorry, don't buy it.

DistanceCall · 02/07/2017 10:54

I talking about the cheating (or lack of) because that's what this thread was started on

Yes, and we are saying that we don't give a shit about the cheating because some of us have followed your thread and couldn't care less about that. We care about your daughter.

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 10:56

He doesn't smoke till the evening now. So plenty of time for nice play dates.

You seem determined to see our life as worse than it is.

OP posts:
MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 02/07/2017 10:57

Does he still drink and take drugs?

On a daily basis according to OP just not in the daytime (presumably because he's working full time?).

DistanceCall · 02/07/2017 10:57

He smokes every single day in your home. You probably don't realise any more, but your home stinks.

Again, why did your therapist kick you out?

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