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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have the most unfortunately named love rival?

302 replies

RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 00:36

I'm only just back with my dh after we split for a time and suddenly I find Jolene is back in our county and wants to get back in touch with him?

Every time I sound off about the fact they got history and she's always fancied him people start singing fucking Dolly Parton!

Last time I got really torn up over it and confidied in my dsis and BIL he put the damn song on and laughed for a whole few minutes and I forgave him because everyone was a bit drunk and stoned but them
Mary Anne never lets me forget either and she's meant to be close family Angry

Just to clarify he'd never cheat on me and never has.

OP posts:
runningintothelight · 02/07/2017 01:22

I hope she doesn't have flaming locks of auburn hair ....

Sorry.

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 01:22

She's got gorgeous bleach blond beach hair Sad

OP posts:
ExplodedCloud · 02/07/2017 01:26

Sorry but if you won't talk honestly to the therapist then you are wasting both your time :(
I wish you'd consider why so many people with no axe to grind think he's not good for you and dd. It doesn't impact our lives. Why on earth does anybody here remember you? :(

DAMNgina · 02/07/2017 01:27

That's a horrible thing of your BIL to do, not funny at all.

I'm one of those who dives for the radio off switch if I hear that bloody Archers theme tune so I don't think you're missing much, although I accept that is against MN mantra.

Maybe another therapist would be a good idea? many people go through a lot of therapists before they find the right fit.

A lot depends on the type of therapy they offer too.

Maybe it would be a good idea to get this thread moved to Relationships?

DAMNgina · 02/07/2017 01:27

That's a horrible thing of your BIL to do, not funny at all.

I'm one of those who dives for the radio off switch if I hear that bloody Archers theme tune so I don't think you're missing much, although I accept that is against MN mantra.

Maybe another therapist would be a good idea? many people go through a lot of therapists before they find the right fit.

A lot depends on the type of therapy they offer too.

Maybe it would be a good idea to get this thread moved to Relationships?

FellOutOfBed2wice · 02/07/2017 01:27

You don't live on the London/Essex borders do you OP? Just I know a Jolene and I can't believe there's another as she's the only one I've ever met!

Trollspoopglitter · 02/07/2017 01:28

Everyone was a bit drunk and stoned? I hope your ex therapist makes good on her promise and reports this to SS, as she warned you she would.

DAMNgina · 02/07/2017 01:30

Just off-topic, but I also knew a Jolene (not a blonde, not in London/Essex/NE), she hated her name for the same reason.

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 01:30

cloud that's why she dumped me and told me to find another therapist. Because she said she couldn't help me if I was going to obviously hide stuff from her.

fell a little bit north east from there Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 01:32

trolls she never did in the end but gave me lots of 'your dds growing up and it will come out in her words and pictures at schoolM stuff that made me scared. I know we've failed her but she's got gray life now

OP posts:
Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 01:33

'Great life now'Shit I really shouldn't have posted on a late Saturday night Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 01:34

Bedtime

OP posts:
Oswin · 02/07/2017 01:34

It won't last red and you know it. At some point you are going to be asking dd not to tell anyone what she sees.

He's an abuser. He has manipulated you into taking the blame.

Dewey595 · 02/07/2017 01:38

Agree with Oswin.

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 02/07/2017 01:40

Sounds like you both have issues with drink and weed. Not a great environment in which to raise a young child.

DAMNgina · 02/07/2017 01:41

I think you know what Oswin is saying is true - I do.

Pint of water and sleep now.

It will help thinking about it easier tomorrow.

DistanceCall · 02/07/2017 01:43

I said it in one of your previous threads, and I'll say it again.

You're damaging your daughter. YOU are.

You're free to fuck up your life as much as you like. But at least give your daughter the kindness of giving her a fighting chance. Which means living with a family who care about her. Not about fucking Jolene.

Christ.

DistanceCall · 02/07/2017 01:45

Oh, and I really, really hope your ex therapists reports you to SS, for your daughter's sake.

You're not a sweetheart. You're someone who's placing a dickhead and her own selfish, co-dependent needs above her own child.

IStoleDipsysHat · 02/07/2017 01:46

If it's so right and great why do you feel the need to hide it?
He's hoovered you back in and handed you the rose tinted glasses and you've bit his hand off and believed his lies. It never lasts, this woman is just the first crack. If you can't take this first crack and I can see why, her unfortunate name may detract from the seriousness. Then at least at the very first instance of old behaviour, no matter how minor, no matter the excuse, sling him out of the door because it will only get worse. This time don't take him back.

alltoomuchrightnow · 02/07/2017 01:46

I don't understand any of this.
What does 'gray life' mean?

IStoleDipsysHat · 02/07/2017 01:47

A typo of great life alltoo

IStoleDipsysHat · 02/07/2017 01:52

OP has posted in the past about shitty abusive husband. Got out, got back etc. Got a therapist and took him back and refused to accept she's like a moth to flame where he's concerned. Therapist dumped OP because she wasn't being honest about the situation and now her husbands bit on the side he had when they were split has shown up and wants to re-engage but no one is taking the op's frustration seriously because the other woman is named after a country song. People who have been on her previous threads are saying she needs to think of her child and sling him out because it's just the roundabout starting on another cycle. OP refuses to believe this alltoo

SparklyMagpie · 02/07/2017 08:56

Oh goodness i knew it was you as soon as i started reading.

I can't believe, although can't say i'm surprised, that you're back with him!

You know it'll go tits up again and it'll be your daughter suffering. I feel for her i really do

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 02/07/2017 09:13

Urgh! Embarrassed, sore head. Why did I post this!

On the subject of dh, he's turned himself around and is being a perfect dad and husband. People can change and he has. Dd has never been so content. I haven't been this happy in a long time.
If life was like mumsnet no one would ever get second chances and everyone would be going against love and fate and it would eat you up inside.

OP posts:
ladystarkers · 02/07/2017 09:18

Jolenes a needy twat. Enjoy, it sounds great.