Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12

Original poster

Are weekday weddings a bit shit, for guests?

284 replies

OldSkoolRapFan · 01/07/2017 20:30

Hi there,

following on from another thread on here - it got me thinking about weekday weddings

I have been invited to a few but only ever attended one weekday wedding, which was a family member and even then a lot of people did not turn up

It seems a bit cheap to me, that the B&G are happy to inconvenience every single guest, as long as they can save a few quid?

OP posts:

asparagusnextleft · 01/07/2017 21:40

Yes friends getting married on a Friday in the autumn and completely refusing to accept that as a teacher I couldn't "just get the day off". Even worse, ther're insisting on me being their witness "darling we won't take no for an answer" etc. Very awkward and I'm embarrassed at being put in this position. Apparently they're quite miffed that other people aren't attending either.

sparechange · 01/07/2017 21:41

Depends on your circle of friends

I was invited to one earlier this year, and it was a mild pain for me, because I work mon-friday and therefore needed to take a day's leave

But the bride and groom, and most of the guests, work in the arts, and weekends are their busiest time
So it was better for the majority of guests that it wasn't a saturday

But with a few exceptions for religious reasons, I think the vast majority of weekday weddings are planned that way soley to save the bride and groom money

Dippysnowoman · 01/07/2017 21:41

I work shifts as does my dp so any day would require us having to use leave unless it fell on an 'off shift ' day. That said if I was close to the B or G I would take the required days as leave.

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 01/07/2017 21:43

They are good if you want a child-free wedding but you also run the risk of it being a guest-free wedding.

Not everyone can/wants to take a day of annual leave (assuming they are employed) and, unless it's a Friday, it means you can't really let loose with the booze. That might be a good thing as it reduces the risk of drunken guests causing a kerfuffle.

Liiinoo · 01/07/2017 21:45

We opted for a Friday wedding because we had our pick of venues/caterers etc AND it meant only people who really wanted to be there would come. This was an important consideration as DH has over 100 first cousins and we couldn't afford to host them all. This way family honour was satisfied because we asked them and the one he barely knew had a perfect excuse for declining.
It had the added advantages that those people who had to travel to get there were able to fly midweek and then had a full weekend in our home city to spend visiting family or tourist sights as they chose.

Liiinoo · 01/07/2017 21:46

The ONES he barely knew!!

RudeDog · 01/07/2017 21:46

DHs cousin got married on a Wednesday - I can only assume to stop people going as...
They have a lot of money
The venue was the chapel/hall he was the part time minister for - a very small congregation and not somewhere you would choose to get married unless you were associated with it

The spent a fortune as well - no idea how many people went as we didn't.
It would have ended up being 4 days holiday for us in the end as we would have been pressured to stay at PIL until weekend.

We got A LOT of grief from family members when invites came out as we were clear from start we weren't going (I've never even met them) - in the end - none of them went - I think the reality of it hit when they were told it was also a dry wedding!

EccentricPickle · 01/07/2017 21:49

Yes.

Especially if they're not on a Friday because it means one day off work for the actual wedding and then either a day off work for the next day or watching what you drink/leaving early if you do have work the next day.

Coldilox · 01/07/2017 21:51

Depends. I do shift work, so if it fell on one of my weekdays off it would be fine for me, but having been to a few they tend to be fairly quiet, finishich earlier than Saturday ones.

The other side is that when I have had a lot of weddings I have resented having to use annual leave for them, I'd book the Saturday and Sunday off especially if travelling, weekend shifts are 10 hours so that's 20 hours annual leave. On particularly wedding heavy years I have turned some down to save my leave, and in a few cases I haven't been able to take the leave due to staffing levels.

But, that's my issue. Most people have weekends off, so weekend weddings suit the majority.

Robinkitty · 01/07/2017 21:54

last weekday wedding I went to was a pain in the arse, both dh and I had to book a days holiday, we couldn't spare the day after so didn't drink to avoid having to go to work with a hangover.
I had to take the kids out of school which caused a fair amount of problems and given the choice I wouldn't have brought them but everyone who could have watched them was at work.
So it was pretty crap, both dh and I love a wedding but not during the week!

lalalalyra · 01/07/2017 21:54

I think the annoying part is no different to a wedding that's child free/expensive to get too/short notice/too far away - it's only annoying if the couple don't anticipate and accept that there may be people who can't make it.

Forgetting that you are inviting someone when you send an invitation, not confirming your assumption that they'll be there is the only annoying thing I find about weddings.

We have an issue atm where we're in the bad books for not going to a child-free wedding. I have NO family. DH's family are all invited. The bride is related to my friend. I have no childcare so I can't go. I'm not saying "invite my children" I'm just saying "I'm very sorry, I can't come" and you'd think I'd suggested I turn up and spit in the bride's dinner.

TheLionQueen1 · 01/07/2017 21:55

Rubbish!! We had our wedding on a Wednesday because it was also my 30th birthday and as far as I was concerned it was about what made us happy!! People were given a years notice, out of 92 guests we had 2 people unable to come (was during summer holidays as mum works in a school).

Ultimately you want to make your guests happy but you're wedding is about you not them! Our wedding cost us less than half price (vital as we were paying with no support!) being a Wednesday and everyone ate and drank for free all day...didn't hear much whinging at all about that!!

If people are worried about wasting a 'precious' holiday day on that they I would question how close they are to you and whether it matters if they are there or not! If someone important to me got married on a week day I would be happy to use a day's holiday to join in a celebration, hardly a waste!

ExConstance · 01/07/2017 21:57

It depends what the guests do for a living. My family are mainly farmers and most of the rest are self employed so our Friday wedding was well attended.

applecatchers36 · 01/07/2017 21:59

Yes completely

slothqueen · 01/07/2017 22:01

As pp have said it depends what your friends do for a living. As a shift working nurse there's a better chance more of my friends could get a Tuesday off work than a Saturday.
My sister on the other hand is a teacher who could never attend a week day wedding and neither could most of her friends.
If I got married it would be midweek. If she did it would more than likely be a weekend.

gttia · 01/07/2017 22:01

We are getting married on a Thursday, purely to fit around children, our work and getting a honeymoon on our own.
Only a few invited all day, if the rest can't make the evening that's fine, no expectation by us, we know it is akward but it suits our set up and we will catch up with people later.

But most have accepted

P1nkSparkles · 01/07/2017 22:01

We had our wedding on a Wednesday - but we gave people a years notice and we had it the week between Christmas and new year.

Most people were already off work- everyone we invited came and most stayed for a few days either side, so it turned the whole festive period into a massive family party.

It wasn't any cheaper. So I think it depends when... because we have a Friday wedding this year and it has been a pain getting time off to go.

BroomstickOfLove · 01/07/2017 22:03

I worked in retail in my late twenties, and I spent huge chunks of my annual leave on Saturday weddings. I would have loved a bit of variety in the hope that some of them might have been in one of my days off.

SisterA · 01/07/2017 22:09

Sad to see so much negativity on this post! We are getting married on a Wednesday next month but we're aware it might be an inconvenience to some guests so have tried to make it as stress free for them as poss... guests can stay at the venue if they wish otherwise we have are paying for transport for those who require it. We are also doing it in the summer holidays so kids/teachers can come.

But the venue was £7.5k cheaper to do it on a Wednesday... does that just make me cheap? £7.5k extra just for a Saturday seemed bizarre to us! Doing it on a Saturday would have meant we couldn't provide transport to the venue for guests (about 1hr drive) or have as good entertainment for people... the list goes on!

So far the only people who have declined have been overseas/those we kind of expected to say no (distant relatives) but now just wondering if even those who have accepted have done so begrudgingly

namechange20050 · 01/07/2017 22:13

I got married on a Friday. Everyone came. I have been to weddings on Thursdays and Friday; never bothered me.

RudeDog · 01/07/2017 22:13

Midweek is much worse if there is travelling involved - a whole days holiday just to get home !

Owl1011 · 01/07/2017 22:13

We had a Friday wedding during half term, only one couple couldn't attend the day but that wasn't for work reasons as they are teachers anyway. Everyone came, we had a massive party and the best day ever. Been to Thursday, Sunday and b/h Monday weddings. Two Friday weddings next year which will need to book annual leave for but I don't mind as they are for close friends and family. I've declined mid week wedding invitations myself (Wednesdays) as wasn't practical to attend with work and they were more acquaintances than friends anyway

Jamhandprints · 01/07/2017 22:18

I think its often done to cut down the guest list without having to exclude people. B&G know less people will be able to make it so they can invite everyone but not have to pay for everyone's food :-)

redphonebox · 01/07/2017 22:20

Yes!!! I also find it a bit irritating that the thing the bride and groom have decided to compromise on is the thing that will massively inconvenience lots of guests. A cousin of mine openly said the only way she could have the "wedding of her dreams" was to have it on a Wednesday. Well, good for you love but I had to give up three days of annual leave for that!

Liara · 01/07/2017 22:20

This thread has made me realise I have absolutely no clue what day of the week my wedding was .

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12

Swipe left for the next trending thread