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AIBU?

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Original poster

Are weekday weddings a bit shit, for guests?

284 replies

OldSkoolRapFan · 01/07/2017 20:30

Hi there,

following on from another thread on here - it got me thinking about weekday weddings

I have been invited to a few but only ever attended one weekday wedding, which was a family member and even then a lot of people did not turn up

It seems a bit cheap to me, that the B&G are happy to inconvenience every single guest, as long as they can save a few quid?

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 01/07/2017 21:09

We went to a Thursday one & everyone raves about the venue but at the end of the day it was a barn conversion with rubbish food in the middle of nowhere.

Never again.

BigGlasses · 01/07/2017 21:10

My wedding was a Sunday. It was a tiny bit cheaper, but the main reason was that I wanted that venue and if I booked a sat it would have been about 3 years before I got a date. I would have preferred a sat but you can't have everything. Most guests came. I would go to a fri, sat sun, mon wedding. Mid week would just be too difficult as it would probably involve 3 days annual leave ( because of inevitable traveling)which is too much.

Xmasbaby11 · 01/07/2017 21:12

I've been to 3 Friday weddings. Two family members, one close friend. I did think it was cheap of the couple. It meant we both had to use annual leave annual leave and take dd out of school.

I'm glad we went though.

Smarshian · 01/07/2017 21:15

I would definitely have had a weekday wedding to save money. My thoughts are if you can't be arsed booking a day off work then I'm not that important to you and you don't need to come (I ended up having a Saturday wedding as my OH wanted to do it that way, but I reckon we could have saved 25% of our guests who we invited through obligation if we had chosen a Wednesday).
People either want to come or they don't. If they don't then that's fine, the wedding is not that important to them.

JojoLapin · 01/07/2017 21:15

Friday wedding here. Cost was never part of the reason. V rude & petty to label friends/family who invited you to their wedding as being cheap (people I'm sure the B&G would clearly rather not attend their wedding day anyway).

FinallyGotAnIPhone · 01/07/2017 21:17

I am going to a wedding on a Wednesday this year I think it's annoying as a guest. I've never even heard of someone getting married on a Wednesday and I've probably been to 20+ weddings over the years.
Presume they are doing it to save money. Fair enough it's their prerogative.
I'd take the "don't go" option, except it's someone in my DH's family and there's an expectation we go.
It's miles away so two days off work not just one.

Hortonlovesahoo · 01/07/2017 21:20

My best friend is getting married in a very rural location on a Thursday. It'll take us 2 days to get there with our toddler and she's already made it clear that our attendance is demanded at their "intimate" wedding.

CotswoldStrife · 01/07/2017 21:21

I've just remembered that I actually didn't go to one short-notice weekday wedding because I didn't have enough holidays left in work! DH had to go on his own!

Somersetlady · 01/07/2017 21:21

Weekday Wedding invitations arrive in the post to our house. We open it and think:

  1. How lovely to be invited.
  2. How shit it is on a weekday.

Having said that a Friday wedding isnt quite as bad a any other day of the week. The worst one we ever went to for atmosphere was on a bank holiday monday. Most people were leaving by 8pm.

TidyDancer · 01/07/2017 21:21

I'm going to my first Friday wedding later this month. It works okay for me because I can take annual leave but there are probably a number of people who won't be able to be there due to work commitments. As long as the bride and groom book the wedding and send out invitations accepting that, I don't see the problem.

That said, my cousin did get married on a Wednesday which did draw a few comments from people. That was done to save money as they aren't loaded but they did fully accept not everyone would be able to make it.

Groupie123 · 01/07/2017 21:22

Not really if you're close to the people getting married you'll make the effort and get time off. If not you'll rsvp your regrets.

bimbobaggins · 01/07/2017 21:22

I went to a Monday wedding, it was a public holiday but the Tuesday a normal working day. To be honest once the evening buffet was served the place nearly emptied with most people going home because they were working the next day. Also hardly anyone drinking.

Friday I'd have absolutely no problem with

Dewey595 · 01/07/2017 21:22

When I was researching venues for my wedding a weekday wasn't cheaper at all. I think wedding venues charge such extortionate rates that it doesn't save money to have a weekday anymore. Because of this I'd think they were having a weekday wedding for other reasons; i.e. to keep it low key. Not everyone works mon-fri these days anyway.

Autumnleaves105 · 01/07/2017 21:23

We had a weekday wedding, we couldn't afford it on the weekend and don't see why we should have compromised on the venue we wanted. It was a special place for the both of us.
All the people we wanted there were there so wasn't a problem. We gave plenty of notice too.

GreeboIsACutePussPuss · 01/07/2017 21:23

SIL&BIL had a weekday wedding and I was flamed on here a few name changes ago for not taking my DC out of school to go.

BuzzKillington · 01/07/2017 21:23

Yes a pita.

My cousin got married on a weekday and we had to both take 2 days off and arrange for help for various activities the dcs had plus they had to stay the night with GPs.

DCs were invited, but there was no way I was going to take them both out of school.

WizardOfToss · 01/07/2017 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 01/07/2017 21:27

Where I live (within the UK) Friday weddings are very much the norm, Saturday weddings are unusual.

It possibly stems in part from the tradition of having a second night (which is a much less formal affair) - and although that tradition isn't as popular as it once was, Friday is still the day of choice for a wedding.

I don't particularly enjoy weddings, so if someone chooses a date that makes it difficult for me to go, all the better! ;)

Original poster
OldSkoolRapFan · 01/07/2017 21:28

Fridays aren't so bad, it gives people a long weekend but a mid week one is a different kettle of fish

OP posts:
ShitStorm2017 · 01/07/2017 21:29

We're having a Friday wedding next year, if people don't come so be it.

All our guests are close family and if they can't take a day out of their AL then they obviously aren't as close as we thought.

expatinscotland · 01/07/2017 21:31

'I think the way people have their weddings will start changing as people's working lives change. '

I hope so, and where people can marry will change, too. A huge part of the problem is this whole licensing as to where you can marry, leading to these venues that just charge the Earth when you say 'wedding'. And the whole idea of getting married early in the day, then having a meal and then a separate do. It takes forever and means people have to take off whole days to attend. There's so much more flexibility to marrying later in the day and not having this whole 'breakfast' that isn't and identikit form to a wedding, and even more so if people are allowed to marry after bloody 6pm, which is ridiculous and a throwback to centuries ago.

Sadly, it appears a lot of people are suckered into this whole idea of the grand venue and big do or it's not a proper wedding, including quite a few guests.

There was a bride on here not long ago whose reception was an afternoon tea and there were some sneery folk declaring it wasn't a proper wedding and she needed to add a buffet and all these other meal options.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 01/07/2017 21:32

We got married on a Friday. The registry office was cheaper and we got a discount at the reception venue but I would have completely understood if people couldn't come. As it happens only one couple declined (at short notice which was a pain) as they had picked up their new puppy and couldn't leave it.

RooMama · 01/07/2017 21:33

I got married on the thursday before easter long weekend. Some guests travelled so I think they were happy they could use Easter as an excuse to get a few days away. Then we timed the wedding so it started at 5, hoping that the rest who weren't travelling would be able to make it by just taking an hour or two off work. In fact most people ended up taking the whole day, because it doesn't take much of an excuse to add a 5th day off to a 4 day long weekend. It was a fab day.

turbohamster · 01/07/2017 21:34

Best friend got married on a Thursday, it was a pain in the bum to be honest. I went because it was my best friend, but not only did I have the normal wedding expenses but I also lost two days work, I don't work I don't get paid.

Nonibaloni · 01/07/2017 21:37

I'm meant to be planning my wedding right now.

I met one wedding planner chappie at some venue who suggested week day wedding were great because then everyone gets a little holiday. I already can't be arsed with the wedding, can imagine the guests faces when inform them it's a wee holiday.

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