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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are weekday weddings a bit shit, for guests?

284 replies

OldSkoolRapFan · 01/07/2017 20:30

Hi there,

following on from another thread on here - it got me thinking about weekday weddings

I have been invited to a few but only ever attended one weekday wedding, which was a family member and even then a lot of people did not turn up

It seems a bit cheap to me, that the B&G are happy to inconvenience every single guest, as long as they can save a few quid?

OP posts:
Mamabear14 · 01/07/2017 20:42

I'm getting married on a Thursday. In half term though as there are more kids than adults coming!
We wanted to elope. DP's mum guilt tripped me about how he is her only son and how her and his sisters would be upset if they didn't see him marry.
So we are having parents, siblings, and the kids. Late ceremony and a meal, the kids can put iPod music on and they are all very free to bugger off by 10!

WhenLoveAndCakeCollide · 01/07/2017 20:44

It's a bit harsh to label a couples cheap, just because they want to save a bit of money. With the sky high weekend prices, it's hard to blame those who do opt for a weekday wedding.

My friend and her husband had a weekday wedding, expecting (and dare I say, hoping!) a good percentage of those invited would decline, and indeed that was the case. It saved them even more money!

As for inconveniencing guests, well no-one has to go do they? As I've seen people on here say, it's an invitation, not a summons.

Luckyyem · 01/07/2017 20:46

We got married in the week, we had originally booked it because we were going to grab two witnesses and tell everyone after. Then I felt guilty and asked people.

Everyone we invited came and it was a lovely relaxed day and everyone was gone by late evening - we had a BBQ in our garden as our reception.

We gave our guests plenty of notice, it was in the school holidays and a lot of our guests had children.

We did only invite family and very close friends.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 01/07/2017 20:47

It would have to be immediate family to warrant a days annual leave for a wedding for us.

Loopyloppy · 01/07/2017 20:51

My sil insisted on a Wednesday wedding as it was the cheapest. Over half the people were invited didn't go (most had to travel a fair way too) and she spent months bitching about people letting her down on Facebook and knowing who her true friends were.

bilbobaggi · 01/07/2017 20:52

Ah yes because everyone works mon- fri and has weekends free! I think the way people have their weddings will start changing as people's working lives change. I work in retail so if someone is getting married on a Saturday I have to book the day off. My best friend is getting married on a Friday next year and a large proportion of guests work on the weekend so would have to take time off work regardless. If I care about the person I take time off, otherwise you just say no!

ethelfleda · 01/07/2017 20:52

We got married on a Thursday before August bank holiday (so half term) we only invited close friends and family and had a local wedding in case people just wanted to come over on the evening for a short while.
I don't THINK anyone felt inconvenienced and I certainly didn't give it a thought. I think every wedding I have been to has been a weekday and have also had to take a few days off to fly overseas for one. But I didn't HAVE to go so I didn't mind.

OCSockOrphanage · 01/07/2017 20:53

Loopy, she probably did end up knowing the difference between friends and acquaintances.

Rarotonga · 01/07/2017 20:53

It can be annoying if you have to travel a fair distance and it is midweek. I went to a wedding on a Wednesday and because of the location, had to take the Tuesday and Thursday off work too. Three days annual leave for a wedding was annoying, but I still went.

EyeDrops · 01/07/2017 20:55

We had a Wednesday wedding, for no reason to do with money at all - the reductions came as a nice surprise once we started planning!

It was the summer holidays though. And we were also young (only just out of uni) so a lot of friends weren't in full time work yet, and most family local.

Only a very few weren't able to come, and everyone had a great time! I'd think twice now though, I reckon, but it wasn't a problem then.

Dullboringusername · 01/07/2017 20:55

Erm, you do realise a lot of people don't work Monday-Friday don't you? I'm not planning on getting married, but if I were a high percentage of my family and friends work weekends so a weekday wedding would actually be more convenient for them. There might be an issue in ensuring that they were all free on the same weekday, but certainly easier than them all getting a Saturday off

Redken24 · 01/07/2017 20:55

Haha we were married on a Monday - and it was purely for the date no other reason. This thread has made me laugh - I genuinely didn't think about people not being able to come along when organising the date. I just wanted to marry my dh.

Katiepoes · 01/07/2017 20:58

All you snarky sods with your 'cheaper, only think of themselves' shite can feck right off. We got married on a weekday - 1 - we had a civil ceremony and in Ireland only weekdays are possible, or were at least when we were married - and 2- we only had about 60 guests and it was impossible to find anywhere we liked that did not have minimum numbers starting at 90 and 3 - we did not plan a date 2 years in advance so choices were limited even more. NOTHING was cheaper - there was a better choice of suppliers yes, but no special rates. And everyone we invited attended - including the evening guests.

So if you don't like them don't have one or don't go - but try thinking before writing people off as 'selfish'.

luckylucky24 · 01/07/2017 21:00

I think it is very inconvenient to some but their choice whether they attend. I have family that live a four hour drive away. They took a day off work to travel up for my wedding which was a Saturday and then drive home the Sunday. Had it been a weekday they and many other guests would have had to take 3 days annual leave to attend.
Unless there are reason that don't relate to finances, I think it is a little selfish to expect people to attend. But then I feel the same about weddings abroad so I don't attend!

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 01/07/2017 21:00

I don't like turning down wedding invitations... In fact, I've never turned one down because I am always so pleased to be invited! But if everyone had a week day wedding it would be a bit of a nightmare! I have to use up a certain number of holiday days covering childcare, so I don't get left with much!

witsender · 01/07/2017 21:00

We had a Friday wedding, which was the same price as a weekend in the venue we went for. But we have a lot of friends who work in unusual jobs so it made little difference to them, and we stayed local so everyone could travel easily really.

JaneEyre70 · 01/07/2017 21:01

We went to a family wedding once on a Sunday and it was awful, the evening especially just didn't get going. No one was really drinking as they had work in the morning, and a lot of guests didn't turn up. It was a damp squib tbh, and even the bride admitted they got it badly wrong. I felt so sorry for them, but you do take a chance if you don't get married on a friday or saturday.

meowmeowmeow · 01/07/2017 21:03

Is the wedding for the guests or for the people actually getting married? It's not about you, the guest, so not for you to moan about. If you can't make it you politely decline but you do not complain that someone else's special day is inconvenient for you.

user1486076969 · 01/07/2017 21:05

Never been invited to one, but I do think a Friday wedding is OK if you are close enough to travel on the day.......gives one longer to 'recover' on the Saturday and then a day at home on Sunday Grin

x2boys · 01/07/2017 21:05

I got married on a friday it was only a very small wedding plus we got married very quickly six months after we met everybody came, lots of people said it wouldnt last but here we are `12 yrs later anyway, i digress it was much cheaper to marry on a friday.

pocketsaviour · 01/07/2017 21:05

@Rioja123
Not as simple as saying don't go - there are certain weddings you are expected to attend

Yeah obviously you need to attend your own, but everything else is optional.

NotTheFordType · 01/07/2017 21:06

Look the whole point is to prevent people from coming. I wish I'd have fucking thought of it when I got married.

CotswoldStrife · 01/07/2017 21:07

One wedding I attended was on a Sunday - the bride worked in retail so had it then although IIRC it was also a Bank Holiday Weekend so there was a recovery day built in there!

I've also been to a wedding on a Friday - meant time off work, it was a right pain as it was a short-notice wedding. Cheaper for the happy couple yes, not for the rest of the guests though Hmm

Rioja123 · 01/07/2017 21:07

No I mean close family! Of course you'd attend but would resent having to take annual leave. I am getting married in September and have thought about guests every step of the way.

krustykittens · 01/07/2017 21:08

As others have pointed out, it works fine if not all your friends and family work Monday to Friday or if you simply want it to be a small do with just very close friends and immediate family. If it suits you and the majority of people you want to have there, then do it, and bugger what so-called wedding etiquette says! However, don't do what one couple we know did - tell people with only a month to go when your wedding day is ("Sorry, we didn't get organised with the invites!"), have it on a Thursday and tell people it is a child-free wedding (VERY hard to organise babysitters for mid-week). THEN moan that you have wasted loads of money hiring a big venue and catering when only half your guests RSVP.