Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you tell your friend to get lost?

269 replies

user1498051868 · 30/06/2017 21:50

Me and 2 friends are going for a weekend away,staying in quite a nice hotel.
We are driving down in friends car.
I packed a small suitcase (the smallest size ) and 15 mins ago she texts saying "can't bring a case,boot has alcohol in etc so we are taking a small hold-all...I said I haven't got one and we are leaving at 7 am in the morning.
She replied use carrier bags?????
I said no.
Why tell me this late when there's nothing I can do
Would you be annoyed ?

OP posts:
OliviaStabler · 01/07/2017 06:52

Cut these so called friends out of your life. They look down on you and humiliate you. You don't need that in your life.

MoodyOne · 01/07/2017 06:57

What are you going to do? I would take my case on my lap. They have obviously done it so you look bad (as they have bought new bags).
I would go and have a lovely time then NC them... they sound very immature and you deserve better x

WillowWeeping · 01/07/2017 06:57

Am I right that you've paid for it all and haven't received anything from them at all.

Cancel the whole thing - the money is gone regardless and you'll be better off not suffering the weekend.

RedHelenB · 01/07/2017 07:02

Oh yes if you have booked the hotel and they 've not paid ring up and cancel the toons.

pudcat · 01/07/2017 07:14

Why did you not do what we all suggested in your previous posts? I told you to report your card as being used fraudulently by your so called friend. Just think about how you are being used and how you could have been killed by travelling in the boot if the car had been shunted.

Original poster
user1498051868 · 01/07/2017 07:14

Hi everyone ..thank you for all your comments.
I live in north.....Scotland.
So train fares would be crazy expensive.
We are staying in the Lowry hotel.
I've managed to get a holdall from my dad so I will use that.
I've been looking forward to going for ages and thought I might as well go.
I hope you don't think bad of me for going,I do deep down realise they try and humiliate me,I'm going to try and stand up more for myself

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 01/07/2017 07:16

Good luck op

pudcat · 01/07/2017 07:23

So you are going in the friend's car - the one who drives too fast. You cannot take a case. You have to sit between 2 car seats. You have used your card to pay for all and hope you get your money back. How are you going to stop them adding other drinks etc onto your card? Well it will all end in tears.

CashelGirl · 01/07/2017 07:23

Enjoy your weekend and keep your wits about you. If they are being mean and horrible, it is more about them than you. It is hard to change the dynamics of a group - sometimes your only alternative is to remove yourself entirely. They won't like it - it is a bonding thing for them to gang up on you. However, it is not good for you to be treated this way. It messes with your head.

FunkyFantasticFudgeball · 01/07/2017 07:24

Insist on her removing one of the car seats then, no way you should have to sit squashed between two car seats from the north of Scotland to Manchester. Stay staffing up for yourself today or you'll never do it

rightwhine · 01/07/2017 07:27

Oh op, they will only treat you how you let them. Stop it right now.

If they haven't paid you for the tickets cancel if you can. If they have paid you, let them go without you! They are getting kicks our of humiliating you. If they were genuine then a good friend would have rung you to see if you needed a holdall too. Anyway you can fit you're case in half in the footwell and half on the car seat.

You say you can stand up for yourself but it isn't working is it? They are probably enjoying your protests then ignoring them anyway.

Please stop it now.

ElspethFlashman · 01/07/2017 07:27

Oh my god this is the Manchester trip!

Best of luck OP. Keep your wits about you, take ZERO bullshit and let us know how it's going.

Loopytiles · 01/07/2017 07:27

Don't pay for stuff for them again! And risk not getting paid back.

If they are shit to you go off and do things in salford/manchester alone, loads to see and do!

Crunchymum · 01/07/2017 07:30

OP now is the time to stand up for yourself and take some control back.

These friends have no respect for you. In fact they sound like bullying cunts. Don't allow them to do it to you any longer?

Be brave and don't go. Cancel and show them that you are done being treated like crap. You don't have to settle for people like them.

You have the chance to make a positive change here. Take back some power.

DAMNgina · 01/07/2017 07:30

Ah, ok good luck.

Remember bullies pick on strong people to get a rise out of them.

You have stood up for your self before and it hasn't worked - for you, but seems to exactly what they want.

Stop doing the thing that doesn't work.

Try 'grey rocking' them - ie just being really boring an vague and non-committal.

luckyottershaven.com/2016/07/06/grey-rocking-if-you-cant-go-no-contact/

"talk about something boring, like the weather, or how much your car needs an oil change, or how expensive milk is these days. Change whatever sensitive or personal subject they bring up to something unrelated, impersonal, and dull"

elfies · 01/07/2017 07:34

Good Luck and big hugs , you're worth more than these so called friends .
Since you've paid for the hotel , and still intend to go ,you may as well enjoy it, even if you take off on your own instead of joining these inebriated 'friends'
Do give them a piece of your mind and cut them out of your life once the weekend is over though .
I must admit I'd be cancelling....the trip and the hotel

Phoebefromfriends · 01/07/2017 07:40

OP you sound young and 'friends' sound absolutely vile. I would cancel the booking and tell them to piss off. Getting in the boot of a car and being driven is dangerous and illegal. These so called friends don't respect your safety so why on earth would you go away with them?

Turning up to a nice hotel with a crate of beer sounds ridiculous, it's not Glastonbury FGS.

Now is the time to put some boundaries in and stand firm.

eternalopt · 01/07/2017 07:55

Lowry hotel looks lovely. Go. Enjoy yourself. Do what you want to do. Use the time to consider whether you really do want to be friends with these people. Be nowhere near them when they carry 3 crates of beer through that lovely lobby!

Chrys2017 · 01/07/2017 07:57

Sounds like they're taking the p* TBH. If it were me I'd find some nicer friends.

Ashamed123 · 01/07/2017 08:11

Oh fuck that! There's no way I'd be going, I'd be cancelling everything and ghosting them. No way would I be going anywhere with this pair of bitches, they're trying to humiliate you

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/07/2017 08:12

When you turn away from these "friends", you will turn toward other possibilities and friendships. You may not instantly find new friends. However, you will have the space in your life and the energy required to be receptive to like minded people. As long as you look to friendships with these women, you are turning your back on these possibilities and friendships.

Brittbugs80 · 01/07/2017 08:14

If the hotel has your card, be careful they don't use it to empty out the mini bar, trash the room or anything else that could be charged back to your card.

I'm genuinely baffled as to why you're going. Surely it can't even be an appealing trip, knowing what the pair of "friends" are like. It's not just intimate/personal relationships that can be abusive.

I've got a feeling that losing the £500 from hotel deposits would have been the cheaper option once this weekend is over. I hope I'm wrong.

Writerwannabe83 · 01/07/2017 08:17

Oh OP

After reading your updates since my initial reply I have changed my stance.

There's only one reason these people want you in their life and that is to make them feel better about their own. They are classic bullies and you deserve better. I doubt standing up for yourself will change anything to be honest as it's clear where they think you stand in the pecking order.

When you get back from this trip distance yourself from these two women because their reasons for being your 'friends' are not nice ones.

mrsBeverleygoldberg · 01/07/2017 08:19

It's a nice hotel, but after all that beer and drinks after, they'll be puking in the reception of the hotel on the way back to the room. Having to have your wits about you and grey rock doesn't sound fun to me. They bully you to make themselves feel better. Why on earth would you put yourself through this?

Caulkheadupnorf · 01/07/2017 08:20

Think of an adult who would stand up for themselves and try and think what would XXX do. Might help you to.not just accept things? I often think about what my therapist would do, because she's ace and fiery

Swipe left for the next trending thread