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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you tell your friend to get lost?

269 replies

user1498051868 · 30/06/2017 21:50

Me and 2 friends are going for a weekend away,staying in quite a nice hotel.
We are driving down in friends car.
I packed a small suitcase (the smallest size ) and 15 mins ago she texts saying "can't bring a case,boot has alcohol in etc so we are taking a small hold-all...I said I haven't got one and we are leaving at 7 am in the morning.
She replied use carrier bags?????
I said no.
Why tell me this late when there's nothing I can do
Would you be annoyed ?

OP posts:
Whowouldfardelsbear · 30/06/2017 23:55

OP - I am also certain that you will feel better if you do not go, cancel and enjoy some time with yourself this weekend instead. The feeling of self-respect you gain will be a good start to boosting your self-esteem and confidence.

I do know where you're coming from though - but really these friends are not good for you. You can make new friends - it is scary and will take a bit of time but you just have to put yourself out there. There have been countless threads on here with mners saying they feel lonely and have no friends so you know you are not the only one - and believe me - there will be people out there grateful that you have made the first move.

Start to take control this weekend.

Starsandwishes · 01/07/2017 00:00

Omg has op paid for the weekend away and the south called friends are paying her back? Or have I misunderstood? Anyway I agree with others. They are not your friends they are horrible people. If you have paid try and council it. If you can council still dont go. The money has gone weather you go or not. You have paid for the hotel and they are pulling the strings piss takers.

Are you scared of them op? You know they treat you bad but you don't step away and will still end up going anyway.

DarkDarkNight · 01/07/2017 00:05

If you still want to go just leave the house with the suitcase when they arrive to pick you up. If it's a small cabin sized suitcase it will fit behind the front seat. They sound underhand and sneaky, will they actually demand to your face you empty your things into carriers?

I really wouldn't go though. This school girl bitchiness really gets on my nerves. If they haven't paid you yet I would definitely cancel with the hotel. Don't let them humiliate you anymore.

CheshireChat · 01/07/2017 00:08

If they haven't paid and you can't get a refund, couldn't you go by yourself? I bet you would have more fun on your own and it's not like there's nothing to do in Manchester to keep you busy.

Travis1 · 01/07/2017 00:13

I wouldn't go or if you've paid for it and they haven't reimbursed you uninvite them, get the train and luxuriate in peace for the weekend

SweetLuck · 01/07/2017 00:43

They are getting a kick out of bullying you. Please stand up to them.

DAMNgina · 01/07/2017 00:52

Oh honey, big hugs. I feel like you're in the eye of the storm so can't see what's going on.

And that's because they have been emotionally manipulating you, and degrading you, I'll bet it started small and has gradually gradually become worse and worse.

As everyone else has said, they are not you're friends, they are actually quite evil and are using you for some sick twisted entertainment .

They are making you feel small so they can feel big - it's all they've got.

It's not a reflection on you, it's a reflection on them.

They are never going to reimburse you so ring the hotel and either cancel or explain and tell them not to let them check in - then go by yourself.

Manchester is so fab, I bet there are some great things to do there maybe there are Meet Up group events going on?

Then let them turn up at 7am, and not answer the door, sleep in, do what you had planned and catch the train, travel first class.

Breaks my heart that people can behave so cruelly, but some mean girls never grow up - they just grow old.

No-one deserves this.

ohfourfoxache · 01/07/2017 00:57

Please don't go. Phone and cancel as soon as you possibly can and leave these cows to it. They are not your friends.

agnes2016 · 01/07/2017 00:58

You know if you didn't go ... and accidentally lost your bank card- the hotel couldn't charge your card as the details will change so your "friends" would have to sort payment when they got there.

No way would I be going.

agnes2016 · 01/07/2017 01:00

Sorry thought hotel was taking payment when you checked in, just read some replies and have seen you've already paid 😩. Still wouldn't go though xx

BritInUS1 · 01/07/2017 01:01

Wow these women sound like bitches they're not your friends x

Cavender · 01/07/2017 01:05

Turning up to a "nice" hotel (or any hotel) with carrier bags and crates of beer. ShockShockShock

Genuinely, I'd rather not go.

DAMNgina · 01/07/2017 01:05

Oh, I didn't know you could do that with the bank card - yes, do that, ring up and report it lost, now or as soon as you can.

Then ghost the fuckers.

These people are not friends, they are your frenemies.

This weekend, do something that you've always wanted to do instead.

Would you tell your friend to get lost?
Catinthecorner · 01/07/2017 01:06

Where are you? It's not likely to be near me (not in the uk) but if it is I will happily pop over tomorrow (with a fuck off big bottle of wine), give them what for, then enjoy an evening of wine and snacks with you

DAMNgina · 01/07/2017 01:12

Sorry didn't RTFT - still, the hotel is a sunk cost - you'll spend more if you go and for what - to be humiliated further?

Are you going to pay for all the petrol too?

I'm betting they're even gonna get a kick out of walking in with their holdalls and you with a bag for life.

Please don't go... my earlier post still stands, ghost them, be your own best friend.

indigox · 01/07/2017 01:14

It just feels like they think they can say whatever to me and il just do it...

Because you let them, and going ahead with the trip at this point is them just once again demanding/thinking what they want and you doing it. The only person that can break the cycle is you.

DAMNgina · 01/07/2017 01:15

Catinthecorner I'll join you and OP too.

JustDontGetItAtAll · 01/07/2017 01:24

They don't want you to go..... They're shit friends. You (more so these girls you speak of) sound quite young?

Please don't go OP. Have some self respect.

JustDontGetItAtAll · 01/07/2017 01:28

Don't go and cancel the hotel without telling them! That'll teach them to be such controlling, manipulative bullies!! (Plus if you cancel before midday you'll get a refund!) x

Deemail · 01/07/2017 01:34

Don't go, when they arrive at the earlier time tell them it doesn't suit and they should've checked with you first. Cancel the card asap.

Marmalady75 · 01/07/2017 01:35

This ^ is spot on!

WetsTheFinger · 01/07/2017 01:42

I'd be annoyed OP

kali110 · 01/07/2017 01:53

Op aRe these the friends who have put this all on your card so it will be £500 if you cancel?
These people are not your friends.
One was a long time ago, but she's changed.
You deserve better.

dirtywindows · 01/07/2017 06:44

Op you've had some good advice. Come back and tell us what you decided and how it went down.

StealthPolarBear · 01/07/2017 06:48

Op what have you decided to do?