AIBU?
WIBU to wash my friend's clothes?
CherryChasingDotMuncher · 30/06/2017 07:16
My friend asked me to water her plants while she went backpacking round Asia for 6 weeks. No problem, happy to do it, got her key off her.
First time I went to her flat (about 3 days after she left) she had a full load of washing sitting in her machine all wet! And a few dirty dishes in the sink. Nothing extreme, looks like she had a quick meal before she left for the airport and didn't have time to wash up.
Anyway I washed the dishes and popped them on the draining board, took the washing out (which stank of course) and popped it in a bin bag, took it to mine, re-washed the load and then put it through the tumble dryer (my friend doesn't have one).
Next time I went I put it all, folded, on her bed.
There's no way I was gonna let her ruin a full load, after 6 weeks the clothes would have been mouldy beyond repair! I did more plant watering after that and didn't interfere in any other way.
Anyway she came back early this morning and has sent me a text that basically says thanks for watering her plants but she's a bit annoyed that I 'took it upon myself' to 'clean her kitchen' and come in her bedroom, she feels a bit judged, she was in a rush when she left and she feels it was intrusive 
I thought I was being a good friend. AIBU or is she being precious?
SillyMoomin · 30/06/2017 07:20
She probably feels a bit embarrassed so is feeling defensive, but if you were my friend I'd be so grateful you'd spotted I'd left washing in the machine
My neighbour comes to check on post etc when DH and I are away and she often checks the fridge / sink and chucks out milk etc we forgot to throw before we left.
Leave it a few days for her to get over the hurt pride thing then just carry on as Normal
WonderLime · 30/06/2017 07:23
You was being a good friend, but I think she was a bit embarrassed by it. Maybe just apologise that you didn't mean to make her feel judged and that you just wanted to make it nice for when she came home (but don't feels obliged to go above and beyond for her again).
Funnily enough though, I remember seeing a post on her a week or two ago about a MiL who had taken some washing home and the OP was livid about it. Most MNs agreed it was an invasion of privacy (whereas I'd be thrilled if someone did my laundry!).
Nocabbageinmyeye · 30/06/2017 07:23
Normally I am in the "I would hate if anyone did my washing" camp but after 6 weeks they would have been ruined so yanbu, you did a nice thing. I also can't believe after watering her plants she had the brass neck to say anything either, talk about ungrateful!!
What did you say back to her op?
Jinglebells99 · 30/06/2017 07:25
Wow.. that's ungrateful. I wouldn't really want someone wandering around my house while I was away cos I'm untidy and I'd think they would judge but you saved her washing and washed up. Maybe it would have been better to have just done the washing and left it in the kitchen. I would write her a message explaining as your op but wouldn't go out of my way to help her again. Her washing would have stunk after 6 weeks away.
Rainbunny · 30/06/2017 07:25
I get that you meant it as a nice gesture but also... it's one of those tricky "boundaries" situations and I can see why she might feel judged by implication of you cleaning up after her.
Personally I hate anyone else doing my washing because I have many clothes that can all go in the same wash but must be dried in a specific manner (some items are ok in the tumble dryer but others must be air dried etc...). I'd just apologise and explain that you were really worried that her clothes would be lost for good if they were left for the six weeks.
Thinkingblonde · 30/06/2017 07:33
I've done the same for my friend and neighbour. I emptied the kitchen bin as she'd forgotten to do it and noticed washing still in the machine as I passed it on the way to outside bin. I took it home, rewashed and dried it, folded it all but left it on her table instead of going upstairs.
If I hadn't done it the clothes and machine would have been ruined.
emmyrose2000 · 30/06/2017 07:36
You did her a huge favour in washing the clothes. After 6 weeks they would've been too mouldy to salvage, and I dread to think what the smell would've been like. If someone did that for me, I'd be hugely grateful.
The only thing I might've done differently is to have left the clothes folded in a laundry basket and left in the laundry, rather than on the bed. But really, if it was a choice between mouldy clothes and clean clothes on my bed, the latter would definitely win out.
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