WIBU to wash my friend's clothes?

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

My friend asked me to water her plants while she went backpacking round Asia for 6 weeks. No problem, happy to do it, got her key off her.

First time I went to her flat (about 3 days after she left) she had a full load of washing sitting in her machine all wet! And a few dirty dishes in the sink. Nothing extreme, looks like she had a quick meal before she left for the airport and didn't have time to wash up.

Anyway I washed the dishes and popped them on the draining board, took the washing out (which stank of course) and popped it in a bin bag, took it to mine, re-washed the load and then put it through the tumble dryer (my friend doesn't have one).

Next time I went I put it all, folded, on her bed.

There's no way I was gonna let her ruin a full load, after 6 weeks the clothes would have been mouldy beyond repair! I did more plant watering after that and didn't interfere in any other way.

Anyway she came back early this morning and has sent me a text that basically says thanks for watering her plants but she's a bit annoyed that I 'took it upon myself' to 'clean her kitchen' and come in her bedroom, she feels a bit judged, she was in a rush when she left and she feels it was intrusive

I thought I was being a good friend. AIBU or is she being precious?

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

Thanks all.

I think she knows she left washing in the machine as she said she left everything that way because she was in an unexpected rush.

I haven't replied yet, might do it tonight when the waters are a bit calmer.

I literally only went in her bedroom for 10 seconds to pop the load on her bed as I didn't know where else to put it, she has a small bedroom so only got about 3ft in and didn't look around or anything!

[implantsandaDyson]

I wouldn't have went into her bedroom, I'd have rinsed the dishes, done the washing and just left it on her sofa, work surface. I'm not sure why you went into her bedroom.

[Ilovecoleslaw]

Op that's a really kind thing you did, she's probably just feeling a bit embarrassed.

[MsJolly]

Just text her and say you thought you were being helpful. The clothes were wet and stinking and going mouldy so you washed them rather than they be ruined and stinking the whole house out. But message received and you won't help again.

[TooGood2BeFalse]

That's a shame OP, considering you were trying to be kind
I would have been delighted!Although some people are really funny about underwear I find - when my babies were newborn, if any of my family offered to do a load of washing for me I would quickly remove all bras etc. Daft, but maybe it's a similar situation with your friend. A pant-exposing-phobia, if you will

[SleightOfHand]

I'd have done all that apart from going into the bedroom. But I wouldn't moan if my friend had done that, I'd have been grateful the clothes/washer hadn't been ruined.
Was her bedroom door shut?

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

I think it was ajar!

[DearMrDilkington]

I accidently left a top in my washing machine before going on holiday for two weeks. It hadn't even been washed, it was put in there to be washed but I forgot about it.
When I came back it had mould on, so i dread to think what state her clothes would have been in if you hadn't sorted it out..

Yanbu. I'd be really grateful if you did that for me.

[caffeinestream]

I think she was embarrassed.

[rightwhine]

You should have left the folded clothes on top of the washing machine - not on her bed.

[paddypants13]

I think I would just send a text saying something along the lines of you were worried her clothes would be ruined after 6 weeks and trying to be helpful and it was not your intention to upset her.

I was once looking after sil's cat and I liked to hang around for a while to keep him company. I was at a loose end and had time so I washed up. I explained why I'd done it when they got back and they were pleased.

[user1495484765]

You did a good thing. She is ungrateful and graceless.

[blueskyinmarch]

She is being ungrateful. I would send a light breezy text back along the lines of ‘sorry, I wasn’t judging you, just didn’t want your clothes to be ruined or your kitchen to smell bad when you got home. Just doing what friends do. Won’t do it again.’

[LaContessaDiPlump]

I'd point out that if you had left the dishes alone, the kitchen would have smelled and you'd have had to put up with it every time you visited....

As for the clothes, I'd apologise for going in her room and ask how she'd like you to proceed next time in such a situation (if you can phrase this without sounding pissy - not sure I could)!

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I'd say something simple like. "I'm sorry you feel judged. That was not my intention. You are my friend and I didn't want you to come home to mouldy, ruined clothes and dishes."

She sounds very prickly.

[YellowLawn]

hmm on the fence here.
I think I would have done a rinse&spin and put them on an airer so they don't get manky.

[Silverdream]

I'd reply just saying - I only dried your clothes because I was worried they would be ruined and I washed your plate up so you didn't come home to a chore. I hadn't intended to interfere.
I'd leave it at that.
She sounds a bit precious tbh or she had an initial grump when she saw it and text you before thinking it through.

[Sparkletastic]

She's either somewhat disorganised or a dirty skank. Either way the only appropriate response from her was 'thank you so much for doing my washing'.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

God you did her a huge favour the clothes would have been ruined and the dishes would have attracted flies at worst and been a caked on impossible to clean mouldy mess at best. I'd have done it too.the only thing id have done differently is I'd not have gone in the bedroom.

[Moanyoldcow]

She's being hideously ungrateful.

I'd actually text her and tell her to recognise a kind act by a friend for exactly that or fuck off.

[flumpybear]

I'd tell her -
I'm really sorry I was t sure what
To do with the washing because it was soaking wet and would have probably ruined both the clothes and maybe even rotted the washing machines rubber bits ... apologies if I did the wrong thing

Plates were a bit in the way so unjust rinsed them and put them on the side - again sorry hope this doesn't affect our friendship

[TeachesOfPeaches]

I would die of shame if someone went into my bedroom and I had left it a state. She's just embarrassed

[Anditstartsagain]

I would text her saying 'everything would have gone mouldy I didn't want the place to smell when I came to do your plantsyou ungreatful cow'

[PurpleMinionMummy]

I would apologise for upsetting her and say you were worried the clothes would be ruined and you wanted to help. I think going in her bedroom might have crossed the boundary so for that reason alone I would suck it up. I think it was a lovely thing to do though.