Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to wash my friend's clothes?

238 replies

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 30/06/2017 07:16

My friend asked me to water her plants while she went backpacking round Asia for 6 weeks. No problem, happy to do it, got her key off her.

First time I went to her flat (about 3 days after she left) she had a full load of washing sitting in her machine all wet! And a few dirty dishes in the sink. Nothing extreme, looks like she had a quick meal before she left for the airport and didn't have time to wash up.

Anyway I washed the dishes and popped them on the draining board, took the washing out (which stank of course) and popped it in a bin bag, took it to mine, re-washed the load and then put it through the tumble dryer (my friend doesn't have one).

Next time I went I put it all, folded, on her bed.

There's no way I was gonna let her ruin a full load, after 6 weeks the clothes would have been mouldy beyond repair! I did more plant watering after that and didn't interfere in any other way.

Anyway she came back early this morning and has sent me a text that basically says thanks for watering her plants but she's a bit annoyed that I 'took it upon myself' to 'clean her kitchen' and come in her bedroom, she feels a bit judged, she was in a rush when she left and she feels it was intrusive Shock

I thought I was being a good friend. AIBU or is she being precious?

OP posts:
Original poster
CherryChasingDotMuncher · 30/06/2017 12:21

Hmm. How did you know the clothes were in the machine unless you were nosing about?

I could see them, her washing machine is in her kitchen where I had to water plants. You couldn't miss it, the door was all steamed up!

Thanks for your replies I think I'm gonna go along the lines of Watcha's response, but tonight as she may have calmed down by then (or furious and think I'm ignoring her Confused)

OP posts:
Original poster
CherryChasingDotMuncher · 30/06/2017 12:23

Also I didn't text her as wasn't even sure if her phone was on or available when she was travelling! I honestly didn't think she'd mind she's usually very laid back I'm quite shocked by her message

OP posts:
SleightOfHand · 30/06/2017 12:35

Maybe the holiday was shit.

livefornaps · 30/06/2017 12:36

Haha @sleight, yes maybe text that "soz the holiday was shit, ungrateful swine!"

EvansOvalPies · 30/06/2017 12:37

I think you did a kind thing, OP. I've gone on holiday before and forgotten a load of wet washing in our machine. I had to throw it all away, as the mould was indescribable. I'd have been very grateful if one of our neighbours (who come in to feed the animals) had spotted and rescued it all.

We've also gone away having loaded the dishwasher and, waiting for that last empty coffee cup, which never makes its way into the machine, the machine doesn't get switched on. It was completely minging by the time we got back.

I suppose you could have left the folded washing on the dining-room table, or stacked on the sofa. But I still agree you were being very kind and considerate. Once you explain to your friend, she will appreciate your thoughtful actions, I'm sure.

greendale17 · 30/06/2017 12:37

YANBU- your friend sounds rude and ungrateful. She needs to chill out

isthatmorelego · 30/06/2017 12:38

I would tell her your welcome don't bother asking me to do anything for you again you ungrateful bitch . Nice you can afford to leave clothes in the machine to go mouldy !!

EezerGoode · 30/06/2017 12:41

That was kind of you...I would of loved a friend to help me like that x

isthatmorelego · 30/06/2017 12:42

Surely the smell of clothes left in the machine would have been obvious for the op and dishes In the sink would have been seen whilst getting water t
For plants although I think I would have left the clothes on the table or on the sofa .

NKFell · 30/06/2017 12:59

YANBU.

She's an ungrateful knob.

SapphireStrange · 30/06/2017 12:59

I'd be really grateful and I think YANBU and she's being touchy.

Rescuing wet clothes from a machine before they go mouldy isn't the same as a MIL just taking it upon herself to take washing home for no particular reason.

honeyroar · 30/06/2017 13:53

She's probably tired from the journey home and embarrassed, she may well feel bad for sending that text later!

I would just reply "your clothes were stinking of damp in the machine and I didn't want them or the crockery going mouldy, that's all - I thought I was doing you a favour. Sorry."

To be fair, I'd have squirmed at the thought of someone folding my old scruffy underwear! I wouldn't have said anything though.

llhj · 30/06/2017 14:00

She's bloody ungrateful considering you've been in watering her plants. Astonished at someone sending a text like that. I'd be fuming if I were you. Sooo unnecessary.

WithCheesePlease · 30/06/2017 14:02

Oh my god, so she wanted mouldy sticking clothes and mouldy sticking dishes? Fair enough! Confused

AllGoingPearShaped · 30/06/2017 14:12

Christ, it's not like you rummaged through her knicker drawer or anything! Confused

I think she sounds very ungrateful and has handled it very badly. If it had been a jokey "felt a bit weird that you went into my bedroom!" or something like that then fair enough and you would have got the message just as well without the sniping.

I would not be bothering to do her any more favours.

TeacherPresent · 30/06/2017 16:09

She sounds bonkers!

Yukbuck · 30/06/2017 16:28

Please let us know the outcome op!

Original poster
CherryChasingDotMuncher · 30/06/2017 16:34

Ok, here's what I'm sending, why do folks think? -

Hi, I'm so sorry you feel like I judged you, that's honestly not my intention. The washing was in the machine when i came round the first time and I knew it would be covered in mould after six weeks so ran it through again. I should have put it on the sofa though and not gone in your bedroom, sorry I wasn't thinking. Hope you're not mad at me and that you had a great time is Asia can't wait to hear about it!

OP posts:
SleightOfHand · 30/06/2017 16:42

That's great. I'd give her this last chance, if she comes back acting off again, I'd just leave her to it and not bother with her again.

Bloosh · 30/06/2017 16:43

that's way too apologetic - at least cut the first and last sentences if you must apologise.

WifeyFish · 30/06/2017 16:50

YANBU, I've done similar in your shoes and was given a bottle of wine and some flowers to say thanks. No excuse but maybe she was just tired and a bit jet lagged after her trip.

Katedotness1963 · 30/06/2017 16:53

I knew someone who got a friend to pop in and look after their cats while they were away for the weekend. They got back to find not only had she looked after the cats, she'd cleaned the entire house from top to bottom, cleared out the fridge and freezer, rearranged all their drawers including the bedroom drawers and wardrobes. I'm still shocked over that one!

I think you were a good friend for doing what you did. Hopefully she's jet lagged and will realise she's bit a bit of a cow and apologise to you.

SapphireStrange · 30/06/2017 16:54

Too nice!

'I didn't like the idea of you coming back to dishes that would have been well off by then. And the washing was in the machine when I came round the first time and I knew it would be covered in mould after six weeks so ran it through again. I can see maybe I should have put it on the sofa though and not gone in your bedroom. Hope you had a great time in Asia.'

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 30/06/2017 17:03

I think you should add in 'wet' before washing so she realises it was already washed/wet when you saw it!

JacquesHammer · 30/06/2017 17:07

I wouldn't be sending any text other than "in that case I will no longer be watering your plants".

I cannot stand people who somehow manage to twist even the nicest of things into something offensive.

Swipe left for the next trending thread