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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to wash my friend's clothes?

238 replies

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 30/06/2017 07:16

My friend asked me to water her plants while she went backpacking round Asia for 6 weeks. No problem, happy to do it, got her key off her.

First time I went to her flat (about 3 days after she left) she had a full load of washing sitting in her machine all wet! And a few dirty dishes in the sink. Nothing extreme, looks like she had a quick meal before she left for the airport and didn't have time to wash up.

Anyway I washed the dishes and popped them on the draining board, took the washing out (which stank of course) and popped it in a bin bag, took it to mine, re-washed the load and then put it through the tumble dryer (my friend doesn't have one).

Next time I went I put it all, folded, on her bed.

There's no way I was gonna let her ruin a full load, after 6 weeks the clothes would have been mouldy beyond repair! I did more plant watering after that and didn't interfere in any other way.

Anyway she came back early this morning and has sent me a text that basically says thanks for watering her plants but she's a bit annoyed that I 'took it upon myself' to 'clean her kitchen' and come in her bedroom, she feels a bit judged, she was in a rush when she left and she feels it was intrusive Shock

I thought I was being a good friend. AIBU or is she being precious?

OP posts:
SleightOfHand · 01/07/2017 11:45

A good ending.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/07/2017 11:51

Great, good result!

RiversrunWoodville · 01/07/2017 14:19

Oh good a nice outfit Grin

RiversrunWoodville · 01/07/2017 14:19

Outcome ffs

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 01/07/2017 17:29

I knew she'd forgotten the washing was wet in the machine. That's different from selecting a load to wash. Glad she was just being grumpy and isn't a meanie :)

Cocobing29 · 01/07/2017 18:21

Probably just feels abit intruded i would of washed etc put probs left on table or sofa etc so wasnt going upstairs although if you are close and youve been upstairs and in her room before then no i wouldn't see a problem with it. A friend of mine used to be rather messy actually unclean i.e bathroom toilet etc so if i was round and she was cleaning up id join in to help her out loved getting stuck into bathroom only to see it wrecked again within a few weeks but she was always thankful and i did in a polite way i don't personally think you have stepped out of line x

PratStick · 01/07/2017 18:27

Maybe she meant the dishes, I doubt she realises that she left the washing in.

Normally I am in the "I would hate if anyone did my washing" camp but after 6 weeks they would have been ruined so yanbu, you did a nice thing. I also can't believe after watering her plants she had the brass neck to say anything either, talk about ungrateful!!

That^

GreenTulips · 01/07/2017 18:36

Personally I would've hated this!!

Had a friend stay over with her brood - we live by the sea and they don't - anyway first morning I have to work (3 hours) am done extend them to explore the area - they had a car

Come home lunchtime and he's been through my wardrobe and in our enauite and not only done a load of washing but also gone out and brought a washing line (I didn't want one - so didn't have one) !!!!

Some people are rude - some people don't 'get it'

Minaktinga · 01/07/2017 19:02

Any friend I trust enough with my house key has probably already done my housework before!

Lovingit81 · 01/07/2017 19:05

What a cow 🐮! You sound lovely. I'd promptly be dumping her!!

Lovingit81 · 01/07/2017 19:07

Sorry op missed your update. Promptly un dump her! Wink

FlamingoPrincess1212 · 01/07/2017 20:10

Good update 💕

hks · 01/07/2017 20:54

it will just go mouldy of its left in machine i remember my mum did that when we went on holiday for 2wks our clothes had black dots on it and stinking when she opened the machine on our return needless to say clothes etc were all binned

masterchef98 · 01/07/2017 23:34

Didn't rtft but do check for op updates :-) I think what you sent was perfect you haven't done anything wrong but she was in a bad place when she first got home and I can understand her reaction as we often have family visiting who then start cleaning things and I do feel judged but know they are doing it with the best intentions. Bedrooms are a personal space but you just naturally put clean washing in the most suitable place. Glad all is good and ahe apologised, not worth losing a friendship over :-)

nzborn · 02/07/2017 00:08

Your a nice practical person and the word needs more of them.

bluebell34567 · 02/07/2017 00:26

I wish I had a friend like you :)

Mrstiggywink49 · 02/07/2017 07:55

I would have done the same. How ungrateful of her.

Rachel0Greep · 02/07/2017 08:55

Nice happy ending, OP.

pollymere · 02/07/2017 10:17

I wouldn't have gone in her bedroom but just say you realised there was a wash going mouldy in her washing machine so you rewashed it and dried it.

VerbenaGirl · 02/07/2017 11:08

I'd be really touched if a friend did that for me, her reaction does seem a bit precious and ungrateful. If you give someone a key, you have to accept that they will then use their judgement to use it in the most appropriate way - and get over it if that's a bit different to what they thought.

IloveBanff · 02/07/2017 11:39

GreenTulips are you saying that the OP was wrong to do what she did and should have left the washing in the machine?

GreenTulips · 02/07/2017 11:40

No - but I would've liked it!

I wouldn't ask them again either

HappyFlappy · 02/07/2017 11:50

I would have been really pleased if a friend had done that for me!

So would I!

I can think of few things more horrible than coming home to a house reeking of mould, and pile of unwearable mildewed clothes and a kitchen full of flies because they'd been feasting on my cornflake bowl!

It would take days to air the house and replacing the clothes would be expensive.

The only think that I can see might have miffed her was you going into her bedroom. In retrospect, it might have been more politic to leave her (clean, dry, folded) clothes on the settee or something - but hindsight is always 20/20, and you were trying to make her home welcoming when she came back, and ensure that she hadn't got a load of housework to return to when she stepped through the door.

Tell her this (perhaps apologise for entering her bedroom, but don't apologise for the rest of what you did), and let her take whatever stance she likes.

(I have a machine full of wet washing sitting here idle, if you aren't busy at the moment . . . Grin).

HappyFlappy · 02/07/2017 11:52

Sorry - I hadn't read the lost and I should have. Glad all is well.

PuffinProdr · 02/07/2017 18:05

i think it was lovely you did that, the bedroom bit is maybe a bit iffy, but on a first offence I'd write it off ;)