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To have dobbed my manager in...

167 replies

UndomesticBlonde · 29/06/2017 14:34

Bit of background - I've been diagnosed with stress-related eczema- so I've taken this week off work sick after finally getting a diagnosis from the consultant - and finding out that I'm otherwise very healthy.
I've been given a care plan after seeing the consultant - and writing this using dictation facility on my computer btw. She recommended I take a few days off to get my condition under control and then return to work next week.
Anyway I love my job but my commute is 3 hours total. I have quite a difficult boss - I know I'm good at my job - in fact I've had a few experiences recently where I was able to solve problems that no one else could. Including my manager who has been there longer than me.
However my manager has been on my back since I started this job - and I finally snapped and sent our head of department an email detailing the issues I had with her. Not least I was given the right to work a day from home but it being made so unbearable (and stressful) that I had no choice but to go back to working in the office.
I'm feeling really guilty but this person has made my work hell at times; having had counselling I've worked out my manager is pretty threatened by anyone around her who can do their job well; which is a shame because there are parts of her job she does very well - just not the managing bit. I'm sitting here wondering what shitstorm I've stirred up; by the way she has another team who report directly to her - and that team has one by one slowly left the company so she's struggling at the moment with a staffing crisis. So I feel bad for having sent our head (who is new to his job) this email...I think I may be sacked when I get back in the office...

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Ticketybootoo · 06/07/2017 07:03

I left a job after 3 years last year because I had to work with unreasonable people and it sucks . I wrote to HR and used the Exit interview document to give them examples of behaviour and sent photos of comments written on meeting boards about staff that were wholly unpleasant .
If you want to keep your job use the grievance procedure as they would rather you do this than ultimately than have you leave and do what I did !! Good Luck and make sure your sick note reflects the fact you have a stress related problem . They need to watch how they treat you .

Sconesnotscones · 06/07/2017 08:23

Svalberg -MyheartbelongstoG would have to live in the UK as she said: was sat at my desk Monday morning.

I don't think any other English speaking country uses the expression was sat and if MyheartbelongstoG said it in another English speaking country, she would probably only say it once.

LancelotLink · 06/07/2017 10:29

Don't ask if you can take the time off to settle DC in the first week of reception - just tell your boss that that is what you're going to do. That's surely one of the expected perks of being a management level professional.

I don't understand why you are willing to hand in your notice because of this (and other issues, admittedly) but not to risk a disciplinary process?

Your boss would struggle to terminate your contract for insisting on working from home temporarily, because she herself has created the precedent for managers to work at home for the very same reason.

greenritta · 06/07/2017 14:03

Wait op, you never answered (or maybe i didn't catch it):
Were you eating salmon naked at work??? Grin

UndomesticBlonde · 06/07/2017 14:09

Green it was warm at work that day, but not that warm!
Lance manager went into meeting with big manager about an hour ago - I'm starting to get worried again....

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BitOutOfPractice · 06/07/2017 14:32

Oh crikey! It's probably about something unrelated...

UndomesticBlonde · 06/07/2017 14:50

Not eczema related directly, but I have complained to the department manager, so would he have to speak to me - or could he just tell my manager I've complained about her? I may be a manager of other managers but I'm still a small fish in the organisation I work in... Thankfully the treatment is working on my hands so I'm trying not to get overly stressed...

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mikeyssister · 06/07/2017 19:34

You had good reason for sending your email, it wasn't done for nastiness, and you're only stressing because of waiting for a response not because you were unreasonable.

FeralBeryl · 07/07/2017 06:48

Was everything ok Blonde?
Hopefully meeting want regarding you. Also hope your poor hands are improving too Flowers

FeralBeryl · 07/07/2017 06:49

God that made no sense (am drugged in hospital Grin)!I meant to say hope the meeting wasn't about you whilst you were present and felt awkward.

0nTheEdge · 07/07/2017 08:27

OP you made a complaint where one need to be made, you've done nothing wrong! Please don't let this add to your stress. I hate confrontation and I stayed in a job I mostly loved with a horrible manager but we had no HR as it was a tiny company. I wish I could have gone to them with the nasty, bullying and illegal things they did and said. You have made valid points and you've had to do this because of her actions. If she gets cross, that's her fault not yours. Stay strong OP.

UndomesticBlonde · 07/07/2017 10:23

Feral - more to the point - are you okay?
As for meeting - when my manager came out of the meeting she was nicer to me than she's been for a while. I'm now thinking of re-training -as in moving away from my core skill set... Having some future plan - in case it does go wrong here, may help my stress.

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Zh101 · 07/07/2017 11:35

Take a look at the health and safety executives guidance on stress management. //Www.hse.gov.uk or google 'hsg 218 '
Have a read through and see if any of the things match up with your experience. You can use this guidance to pinpoint exactly what your boss -or the company- is doing to make your job stressful. Then you can take that to your HR dept or even your exit interview if you do decide to quit.
If the company chooses to do nothing about it, they are in breach of the health and safety at work act by jeopardising your mental health in exactly the same way they could be prosecuted for risking your physical safety.

UndomesticBlonde · 07/07/2017 11:51

thank you Zh I'm printing it out now!

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FeralBeryl · 07/07/2017 18:50

I'm fine now thank you darling!
Great news about manager Flowers and great idea for new direction but keeping up to speed with your particular skills as a back up plan. That will certainly help with your stress levels.
When in work - are you handwashing with aqueous cream / coconut oil rather than the soap dispenser? That helped one of my colleagues beyond belief.

Angelik · 07/07/2017 19:00

Sorry have read all but good option might be mediation with professionals. Strong likelihood it will help you understand each other better

UndomesticBlonde · 12/07/2017 15:44

Slight update - and Angelik it has gone beyond that - I asked yesterday about coming in later, going home later so I could go to my DCs sports day... She pushed back saying I would have to take annual leave. And today, today she's taken the afternoon off - (not off her annual leave) - my betting is she has gone to her DCs sports day - in fact we've all pretty much guessed that...And that is what makes me seethe. However I'm now writing everything down (and applying for another job)

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