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To have dobbed my manager in...

167 replies

UndomesticBlonde · 29/06/2017 14:34

Bit of background - I've been diagnosed with stress-related eczema- so I've taken this week off work sick after finally getting a diagnosis from the consultant - and finding out that I'm otherwise very healthy.
I've been given a care plan after seeing the consultant - and writing this using dictation facility on my computer btw. She recommended I take a few days off to get my condition under control and then return to work next week.
Anyway I love my job but my commute is 3 hours total. I have quite a difficult boss - I know I'm good at my job - in fact I've had a few experiences recently where I was able to solve problems that no one else could. Including my manager who has been there longer than me.
However my manager has been on my back since I started this job - and I finally snapped and sent our head of department an email detailing the issues I had with her. Not least I was given the right to work a day from home but it being made so unbearable (and stressful) that I had no choice but to go back to working in the office.
I'm feeling really guilty but this person has made my work hell at times; having had counselling I've worked out my manager is pretty threatened by anyone around her who can do their job well; which is a shame because there are parts of her job she does very well - just not the managing bit. I'm sitting here wondering what shitstorm I've stirred up; by the way she has another team who report directly to her - and that team has one by one slowly left the company so she's struggling at the moment with a staffing crisis. So I feel bad for having sent our head (who is new to his job) this email...I think I may be sacked when I get back in the office...

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TheSparrowhawk · 29/06/2017 14:47

You won't be sacked. But you may get a response saying you need to go through the grievance procedure - which probably says you have to address these issues with your immediate boss first. Have you tried talking directly to her?

Greyponcho · 29/06/2017 15:11

Sounds like it's long overdue and you're the only one who has had the balls to say/do anything about it.
Work shouldn't be making you ill - don't less this be a stress for you when you've been signed off to reduce stress on you Flowers

UndomesticBlonde · 29/06/2017 15:24

Yes - many times. Don't want to go through a grievance procedure though.

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UndomesticBlonde · 29/06/2017 15:25

Thanks Grey I needed to hear that! x

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UndomesticBlonde · 29/06/2017 15:27

I've decided I'm going to hand in my notice and say why, but because I'm a senior manager myself (I have several managers reporting to me) I can give notice up to the end of August. So I can work until then and then help my youngest DC settle into full time school (reception) as this boss wasn't going to let me work from home to allow for the first week of half days the schools do now to settle them in. She took those days from home herself last year when her youngest DC started school - and even galling wa she was needed in the office to help us launch a new website!

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coconutpie · 29/06/2017 15:31

Why are you handing in your notice?! Just wait and discuss your issues with the Head. To say that your manager has managed to drive a lot of people to resignation says a lot so they won't take your complaint lightly. Don't feel bad about it either. It's not your fault your manager is a horrible person who is shit at her job.

SuperPug · 29/06/2017 15:36

I WISH I'd done this - good for you.
Don't hand in your notice though.

RatherBeRiding · 29/06/2017 15:55

I wouldn't resign either, I would wait for a response from your email and take it from there.

I would imagine you will be advised to go through official (ie HR) channels as there is really no way of dealing with this kind of issue except by doing it that way although a lot of companies have an "unofficial" official way of handling complaints but obviously they would have to hear her side of it.

muckypup73 · 29/06/2017 15:57

Why on earth would you report her then leave??? I find that highly silly.

GeekyWombat · 29/06/2017 15:59

Don't hand in your notice yet. See what response you get first. Well done on saying something. I've been in jobs where I wish I'd done the same!

MickeyRooney · 29/06/2017 16:05

Don't hand in your notice!

Greyponcho · 29/06/2017 16:39

What?! No, don't hand in your notice!
Why punish yourself for the way that someone else treats you and others?

BewareOfDragons · 29/06/2017 16:43

I find it incredibly depressing and infuriating that your boss (who is running people out of the company on account of her behaviour) worked from home when HER children started in Reception on a half-day schedule, but doesn't allow people under her to do the same when it's a perfectly reasonable request and capable of being done.

If you think you can easily find another job, and think about the reference you'll get from this one if you just walk out, I would probably be leaving as well. You might want to line up another job before you do though.

UndomesticBlonde · 29/06/2017 20:21

Beware yes I can find another job. I guess I am still worried about going back to work on Monday! I've instigated a confrontation and now have to see it through basically.

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Greyponcho · 04/07/2017 10:02

How did it go yesterday?

Creampastry · 04/07/2017 10:24

You might as well go through the grievance procedure.... gives you more protection. A confrontation is limited in what it can achieve.

UndomesticBlonde · 04/07/2017 10:42

Well I went into work and nothing happened at all. My manager seemed extra nice to me. We had a meeting - a regular meeting - where the head of department (the one whom I 'dobbed' to) and obviously nothing.. My email has not been replied to either. However our department is being looked into regarding potential re-structure. So the fact I've had my say may help. In the meantime I'm looking around for other jobs.

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UndomesticBlonde · 04/07/2017 10:44

Thanks for all your replies guys - which convinced me NOT to hand in my notice and I'm going to see what happens re. the restructure. Thankfully my hands are healing quite well but more importantly my DH and I are taking our two young DCs on their first holiday abroad in just over 2 weeks. I think a holiday will clear my head - being able to concentrate on being a mum and wife...

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Greyponcho · 04/07/2017 10:49

The big boss may be glad of a solid reason to get shut of middle boss that you've just given - I suspect the reshuffle may work in your favour - fingers crossed for you!

Increasinglymiddleaged · 04/07/2017 10:52

Request a months parental leave to coincide with the school start...

Coddiwomple · 04/07/2017 10:55

You are taking a week off for eczema?!

AhNowTed · 04/07/2017 10:58

"You are taking a week off for eczema?!"

You clearly have no idea.

Shadowboy · 04/07/2017 11:02

Coddiwomple- severe eczema in the hand is horrendous. A friend had this and had to wear gloves at work as the skin would crack and bleed and it hurt to type, hold a pen etc. It was debilitating she now has her own office and uses Clairo (or something like that) which is voice activated software to be able to work.

badtime · 04/07/2017 11:03

No, Coddi, she took a week off for stress, one symptom of which is eczema.

UndomesticBlonde · 04/07/2017 11:07

coddi the consultant dermatologist recommended I take a few days off to start my treatment - which is basically slathering my skin with creams (both emollient and steroids) 24 hours a day for several days.

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