To have dobbed my manager in...

[UndomesticBlonde]

Bit of background - I've been diagnosed with stress-related eczema- so I've taken this week off work sick after finally getting a diagnosis from the consultant - and finding out that I'm otherwise very healthy.
I've been given a care plan after seeing the consultant - and writing this using dictation facility on my computer btw. She recommended I take a few days off to get my condition under control and then return to work next week.
Anyway I love my job but my commute is 3 hours total. I have quite a difficult boss - I know I'm good at my job - in fact I've had a few experiences recently where I was able to solve problems that no one else could. Including my manager who has been there longer than me.
However my manager has been on my back since I started this job - and I finally snapped and sent our head of department an email detailing the issues I had with her. Not least I was given the right to work a day from home but it being made so unbearable (and stressful) that I had no choice but to go back to working in the office.
I'm feeling really guilty but this person has made my work hell at times; having had counselling I've worked out my manager is pretty threatened by anyone around her who can do their job well; which is a shame because there are parts of her job she does very well - just not the managing bit. I'm sitting here wondering what shitstorm I've stirred up; by the way she has another team who report directly to her - and that team has one by one slowly left the company so she's struggling at the moment with a staffing crisis. So I feel bad for having sent our head (who is new to his job) this email...I think I may be sacked when I get back in the office...

I get eczema on my bottom, vulva, soles of feet, in between toes and backs of my knee. At times it has been so severe I've had to take time of work. My old boss had a similar attitude to coddi until I very pointedly (and was deliberately graphic) explained that period blood on already bleeding eczema meant I couldn't use pads and changing my tampon every hour made me cry with the pain. Add into that I couldn't put shoes on when having a severe attack or bend my knees without them pissing blood then yes, I needed a couple of days.

These days I control it primarily through diet, being scrupulously careful about any chemicals near my skin, the fabric I use (bamboo socks and undies) and avoiding parafin based emollients. I also meditate regularly and run.

OP have you tried coconut oil as a moisturiser? It's expensive but really works for me and DD.

coddlewomple being rude once is perhaps forgivable. But you could at least do some basic googling when people point this out to you and correct your mistake instead of continuing to be an arsehole. I have been hospitalised with eczema.

If you have agreed a day working from home and you have had an unpleasant response as you describe it verges on bullying to me. So whilst it might have been preferable to meet the head of department in person you did the right thing to raise the issue.

There are many managers who are technically gifted or very good at their job but cannot manage people well at all. This sounds like one.

People don't use serving dishes? What are they?

Yes, what are serving dishes?

We don't use dishes at all, DP eats from the saucepan and I have mine on the lid (I'm so dainty, I only eat little dinners).

Your eczema sounds dreadful, OP and I hope it soon heals. It's worth bearing in mind that all employers have a duty of care to their staff, and that includes not subjecting them to too much stress. That's why good employers have stress management policies and train managers in how to prevent stressing their staff out. It's a health and safety issue.

My DH suffered very badly from eczema from babyhood. His poor mother tried everything including faith healers. He had to drop out of uni after a year and returned later to complete his degree.

He had an exemplary career in local government despite a long and painful commute. He was hospitalised more than once and at one point I was nursing him and a toddler.

Eczema is painful, debilitating and often depressing and I am upset about the minimising on this thread.

When DH retired his eczema pretty much disappeared overnight .
Good luck OP.

Only one person has minimised in fairness.

Anyway the OP has her work situation very successfully in hand it seems to me

True. Just got upset reading some of the posts. Eczema ruled our lives for decades and it brought it all back. Sorry for the derail.

I think it has been upsetting to read time

The thread has been detailed several times. Often by me I hope op doesn't mind

A couple of years ago aged 13 my grandson blacked out whilst having an episode of really painful eczma. It involved an ambulance and a blue light to A & E. Until then I thought it was a skin irritation. This shook me to my core. This has never happened since, but it stopped me underestimating the effect it has on the sufferer's life.

OP have you tried fucidin cream? Sometimes eczema is exacerbated by a skin infection and this cream can be really helpful.

Child's farm baby moisturiser is meant to be a 'miracle worker' (do children really own farms?) but I don't know if that's just tosh suspect OP has already tried everything under the sun suggested by (well meaning but no experience of the condition) people like me

Try a water softener. Expensive but it helped my sisters eczema.

Yes guys have tried the antibiotic creams - my hands are not infected although they were. I had to have the fucidin cream a while back.
My hands are a lot better - as witnessed by me being able to type. As I said I'm avoiding alcohol but also wheat and dairy. I have to say I cried on my way to work today - seeing some of the messages here. This won't go on forever... I hope

@Coddiwomple Please don't minimise the impact that eczema has.

I've had it all my life - I'm in my mid 50s now.

I well remember having to have my hands bandaged up to go to school and being called Mr Rusty by the other kids...

It improves for a while then gets worse again and we can't just keep using steroid cream for years as it thins the skin.
At the moment I'm waiting for a patch yet - I was referred for it last September, I had to postpone the first one in Feb due to a family funeral, the hospital cancelled the second try in April as the doctor was ill and it's now scheduled for September - a full year after I got referred.

In the mean time I work at home as much as possible as I don't want to have to cover up my sore blotchy face with makeup so I don't get stared at on my 90 minute commute,
At home I can be keep putting cream on so that my skin literally doesn't split.

On a good day, it's just a bit flaky.
On a bad day, it's intolerably itchy so I have to take anti-histamines, it's blotchy and swollen, my hands and feet crack so it's often bleeding, and often I wake up to find I've scratched myself so much in the night that there is blood on the sheets.

I avoid social events on the days that my skin is bad, because it affects my confidence.

So please don't act like the OP is being unreasonable and taking time off work because of a little patch of dry skin.
If it was just that, I'd be so happy.....

And having got that rant out of the way

Op - I share your pain.
I find that some things help for a while then stop helping again.

Currently I'm taking flax seeds and flax seed oil which seem to help
I avoid dairy and fish plus I have IBS too (so I think my eczema is probably stress-related as well, like yours) so also avoid foods that i know trigger that and which I have found upset my stomach (mushrooms, onions etc. google FODMAP for a full list)
Red wine often seems to be a trigger for me, I avoid anything with sweeteners in.
As well as conventional medicine, I've tried acupunture and Chinese medicine, electro magnetic therapy (can't remember the exact name) and kinesiology

Everything is so dusty from the amount of dry skin that i shed or scratch off, I really hate having this condition - it impacts so much of my life

To be honest, if someone suggested that it would help my eczema to stand on my head, completely naked, in the middle of Trafalgar Square, I'd seriously consider it!

Where i work, they are changing the rules so we can't work at home any more. Like you, I'm seriously thinking that i'm going to have to resign as even someone on the tube with strong perfume or aftershave can set my eyes off and cause my skin to start itching....

Good luck - I hope you can work it all out with your employer x

Eczema

Skin conditions can be a disability under the Equality Act 2010 if they have a major long-term effect on the sufferer's normal day-to-day activities. In the tribunal caseGlass v Promotion Line Ltd, the claimant was able to show that when her eczema is particularly bad, it has an effect on her ability to socialise, play sport and even leave the house. The tribunal was satisfied that she was therefore disabled.

Its foolish when you know so little about a condition to belittle a sufferer or their condition. Op l hope your treatment works .

Aww op don't cry. Everyone here is on your side. I hope your day is going ok

Liz I've ditched alcohol having read a lot about its inflammatory effects; but I only drink red wine. It's my birthday tomorrow and friends want to take me out and buy me some prosecco.. I said I don't know if I can. Yours sounds bad - mine is only on my hands so goodness knows how you cope with it on other parts of your body - and glen too.
I have got a form of IBM - that was what I ended up being scanned for - suspected colon cancer - but everything was fine. I do have an upset tummy but I bizarrely discovered by accident that cutting out grains and pulses - and eating large amounts of carbs (even healthy ones) made it worse. Also upped my water - I drink a lot of tea - to 1.5 litres at least a day.
On several occasions my stomach has got so upset I resorted to eating yoghurt - just the greek stuff - for a day - and nothing else.
I'm guessing this is all stress related.

Op and Liz are gastric issues and skin issues related? I've had digestion problems for decades to the point I dread holidays away and now I've got exzema on my eyelids and they're swollen. And yes. I've had a stressful life for years.

OP - follow the grievance procedure but done resign. I'm sure your boss's track record has been noted.

If you were granted permission to work partly from home then surely that's your contract and no one should be on your back for this.

Hang on in there. It's your job and you should be able to fulfill your role without nastiness.

Coddiewobble
YABUUUUUU! And this isn't even your post. Eczema Can b hideous and there's no medicine to pop to relieve symptoms. I wonder, are you self employed by default, because you wouldn't get on with colleagues in a team of employed people? Or perhaps you can't get a job because of your attitude.......bad reference..... poor management skills..... etc

. I had my 3rd child at ten on a Friday night and was sat at my desk Monday morning.
Oh dear MyHeart, it sounds as if you have real issues with priorities, and must have a very low sense of self worth to behave that way. I'm sure you feel that what you describe is impressive, and that you have put the poor OP in her place, but I think many will find it quite sad.

Does anyone remember this poor bloke from Educating Yorkshire? I never knew how bad Eczema and its side effects could be until then.

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2478804/Educating-Yorkshire-Deputy-head-allergic-SCHOOL.html

if you can stay at home and look after two young children, work would be no bother to you. I had my 3rd child at ten on a Friday night and was sat at my desk Monday morning

Pretty sure this is actually illegal in the UK and that a minimum of 14 days off post delivery is mandatory.

Other than that you go ladies. I only worked until week 39 with DD2 so I'm obviously not up to much!

OP more seriously, your physical and mental health is worth so much more than a bullying boss.

Coddi is just a nasty little troll, do not feed the troll. Some people just seek attention even the negative kind, bless her 🌼 She seems to be oblivious about the reason you have got this even though you explained it and how your boss is a nasty piece of work. Hope it gets sorted out, sounds awful 💐

Until I read this thread, I'd have said I sometimes get mild eczema in places.

Do I bollocks. I get a bit of dried, flaky, itchy skin, occasionally, in the same places that seems odd, usually when my asthma flares up.

OP, you did exactly the right thing in telling management about the problems you and your colleagues experience as a result of how crappy this manager is. TBH, I'm guessing they've seen what's happening, but until someone actually broke cover and said 'SHE is the problem', they couldn't do much. Hope they do act on it, but hope more that you get better soon