To have dobbed my manager in...

[UndomesticBlonde]

Bit of background - I've been diagnosed with stress-related eczema- so I've taken this week off work sick after finally getting a diagnosis from the consultant - and finding out that I'm otherwise very healthy.
I've been given a care plan after seeing the consultant - and writing this using dictation facility on my computer btw. She recommended I take a few days off to get my condition under control and then return to work next week.
Anyway I love my job but my commute is 3 hours total. I have quite a difficult boss - I know I'm good at my job - in fact I've had a few experiences recently where I was able to solve problems that no one else could. Including my manager who has been there longer than me.
However my manager has been on my back since I started this job - and I finally snapped and sent our head of department an email detailing the issues I had with her. Not least I was given the right to work a day from home but it being made so unbearable (and stressful) that I had no choice but to go back to working in the office.
I'm feeling really guilty but this person has made my work hell at times; having had counselling I've worked out my manager is pretty threatened by anyone around her who can do their job well; which is a shame because there are parts of her job she does very well - just not the managing bit. I'm sitting here wondering what shitstorm I've stirred up; by the way she has another team who report directly to her - and that team has one by one slowly left the company so she's struggling at the moment with a staffing crisis. So I feel bad for having sent our head (who is new to his job) this email...I think I may be sacked when I get back in the office...

[BitOutOfPractice]

Have you actually read the thread at all coddi or were you too busy being supercilious?

The op has and is doing something. As well as addressing the issues she has with her boss, she is looking around for new positions and awaiting the outcome of a restructure.

She has also stated many times why simply upping sticks or restraining would be detrimental to the family finances right now.

It must be so refreshing to have such an unequivocally black and white view of the world

[LizTaylorsFabulousTurban]

Eczema can be very serious. Pain from cracked, bleeding, and itching skin notwithstanding, it puts the sufferer at greater risk for infections.

As far as retraining - the OP has said she loves her job and is good at it. The root of the stress is her manager. The issue here seems to be bullying rather than the OP's health condition, as other staff have left. If I was in HR I would be more concerned about the high staff turnover than the OP taking three days sick leave as recommended by her doctor.

[nakedscientist]

"Eczema and work: According to reports made during 2011-2013 by The Health and Occupation Research Network (THOR) GP scheme, skin diseases accounted for around 1% of all sick days caused by occupational illnesses"

You are not alone OP.

[FeralBeryl]

Fucking hell Codd!
Who has pissed on your chips today? How hilarious a completely debilitating condition can be. Ho fucking ho
What next-depressed people should just cheer up a bit?
Sounds like your 'head of HR' your mum needs a bit of retraining too if they think this can't happen.

As for your school dig - lots break up from this weekend too so wtf?
Unless you are her boss - go away and be thankful for your perfect pain free, stress free life elsewhere.

I don't know what's wrong with this place lately

[WhiskyIrnBru]

codi you're being a condescending dick head. I urge you to Google a few pictures of bad eczema. Then get back to us. twat

[UndomesticBlonde]

I don't understand the holiday comment, my DCs finish school on 20th July and we are going on holiday the day after? That's two weeks away...

[MsSusanStoHelit]

It really fucks me off when people who are missing out on a decent right, such as the ability to take sick pay, want to take it off other people instead of insisting on it for themselves.

If you have a problem with someone with a dehbilitating illness needing to take time off and OMG BEING ALLOWED TO!!! without being sacked, because you don't get the same rights, then get a better bloody job with nicer people or campaign to get self-employed people the right to proper sick pay.

Stop pulling other people down to your level. Everyone should be able to take time off sick if they're, you know, SICK.

Also OP well done on writing the letter and backing down from resigning - sounds like your problem might get sorted anyway, though I'd also rather it was done in a grown up way by actually talking to and educating the manager, rather than just restructuring her out.

[Megbert]

The real funny thing is Coddi was on another thread recently accusing people of being ill-mannered and uncivilised because they didn't use serving dishes. :o

Aren't you are showing such civility on this thread, Cod?

Don't pay it any more attention, UndomesticBlonde.

[BitOutOfPractice]

People don't use serving dishes? What are they? Barbarians?

[PeachyTheSanctiMoanyArse]

My niece ended up hospitalised with eczema, it was agony for her.

I also could imagine the practical implications of being smothered in cream and bandages 24/7, as she was, on someone's ability to do the job.

But hey, I'm sure Cod trained for many years to get better medical qualifications than the specialists who gave the OP advice she diligently followed.

[Coddiwomple]

The real funny thing is Coddi was on another thread recently accusing people of being ill-mannered and uncivilised because they didn't use serving dishes.

I am flattered you take the trouble to search my post history Megbert, but if you use it, please be kind enough to refer to my posts in context and in full, instead of using words I didn't write and changing the meaning of my posts. Thank you in advance

[BitOutOfPractice]

Ah, you've gone for passive aggressive now. Nice!

[Megbert]

Pfft. I didn't search.

I was on the thread and your post was so ridiculous it was hard to forget.

[Lilimoon]

You sound delightful Cod.
I hope things work out OP.

[Coddiwomple]

not that hard as you are completely misquoting me!

[BitOutOfPractice]

What? So you're seriously advocating not using serving dishes?

You've really crossed a line now Coddi

Rather than getting into a snip about being misquoted about serving dishes Coddi I think you should be apologising to OP for your horrible, dismissive, minimising comments about her condition. If you said what you've said about many other conditions you would have been banned from MN for being disablist

[Coddiwomple]

someone is clearly missing the point here!

[Thekitten]

Op is this dishydrotic ezcema by any chance (also called pompholyx) I have it on my foot and it was be debilitating at times, especially if I've not slept cause of the itching or have slept but scratched all my skin off on my sleep. It's horrible, all ezcema is so you have my sympathies.
@coddi I wish my doctor's took me more seriously and signed me off work when my ezcema was at its worst, walking to get transport to work was absolute agony :(

[BitOutOfPractice]

No no I think I understood all your points very well.

"You are taking a week off for eczema?!"

"Or maybe there is always one who knows that the same medical issue is always major for employees with sick pays but very minor for self employed people with no sick pay "

"Ok, so the OP did take a week off sick for eczema. This is unbelievable, stress related or not."

"If I have to show some empathy, it would be for the work colleagues who have to deal with the extra work load whilst someone is off sick for a week. For eczema."

"If I have to show some empathy, it would be for the work colleagues who have to deal with the extra work load whilst someone is off sick for a week. For eczema."

That all sounds like perfectly straightforward arseholery to me

[UndomesticBlonde]

my op was about my work and my boss - my eczema being a secondary thing. Ive been under the hospital for over a year with other symptoms - one of which saw me visit a cancer clinic for scans. If that's not a reason to have 3 days off work - then I don't know what is? I'm a highly skilled professional with qualifications and experience that I have used in other fields aside from the one I'm in now. I have to stay in my current job because we need a salary. I am also doing some retraining when I have the energy. Please don't let this thread turn nasty most of you have been lovely and supportive.

[Sickofthinkingofnewnames]

Undomestic, my dh had similar issues, he had patch testing from dermatology that suggested he was allergic to chemicals that are predominantly in leather and the color green.Oh how I laughed (several chemistry degrees)...he stopped using leather and avoids the color green and his life is umpteen times better.Moral of this story? Don't give up and try everything reasonable. He also had dietary triggers but the patch testing was the real game changer.He still gets excema and I'm sure we haven't found all the triggers but much better than it was.

You have my utmost sympathy and that coddi one is a right twat

[Coddiwomple]

right back at you Sickofthinkingofnewnames

[BitOutOfPractice]

I'm sorry for your losses coddi I would have thought though that, having been treated like that in dire medical circumstances yourself, you would be the first to offer sympathy and understanding to another.