To ask for your opinions on lap dances?

[snoopypoodle]

Just something I've been thinking about recently that's been brought on about a MNs DH watching porn and how it broke her boundaries.
BTW this is about men in relationships!!! IDRC what people do when they're single.

I don't mind porn. I don't encourage or approve much of men going to strip clubs but I wouldn't blow my top over it. However I do have quite specific views on lap dances.

I think there's not too much harm in going to a strip club and having a look if there's a group of lads on a stag do etc once in a blue moon (I wouldn't mind watching a male stripper on a hen do).
But the idea of actually paying for a girl to dance on your lap wiggle and grind her (probably naked or v.exposed) bits against you is a completely different matter.
You wouldn't let a strange woman you don't know come up to you and do that in a bar on a night out so why would you pay for it in a strip club?

The more I think about it the more I would see it as cheating if my DP did this. We've talked about it in the past as I know when he was single he did it with his friends etc and he said he doesn't really see the harm in it ie "it's just a bit of fun" . But he has admitted that I'm probably right in saying that he most likely would not like for me to have a naked man wave his penis in my face and grind on me etc.

I don't want to be OTT but as I keep giving it more thought I feel like that would be my "boundary". I would feel sick and really put off if my DP came home after a night out and tried to cuddle/touch me after having a naked woman grind on him a couple of hours before hand.

AIBU to ask what your opinions are ?

I rest my case.

"I rest my case"

Sorry- that was supposed to say "I rest my case"- would you like to expand on that? "

No expansion needed. You've already dismissed me and said that you don't care what I think. What would be the point?

Just chatting to DH about this, he thinks there is a certain sort of man who needs to prove himself who thinks he can buy consent. He thinks strip clubs are tacky, and has apparently never been in one because he has heard the drinks are expensive.

"My BF says on his rugby team about 5 guys regularly cheat on their wives"

Rugby team, eh? Typical "lad" activity whose participants take part in laddish behaviour.

I work in finance. Been to a high end London stripclub quite a few times. Had a few lap dances. Was amused more than anything. Have had chats with the girls. Mainly students. DH used to go with work colleagues too. He doesn't anymore but I'd have no problem if he did. Just don't see them as a big deal. If the women aren't being exploited or feel made to feel like they are, I don't see theproblem.

My husband doesn't hang out with other knobheads that buy sexual services. So he'd never be in that situation.
I find it sad when women say they think any man would do these things. It shows in your whole lives you've only known men who act like that and care more about macho bravado than their partners or sexually exploiting women.
And yet you defend these men?!
There are decent men out then. For real.

Beyond, did you seriously just stereotype anyone who plays rugby? Bloody ridiculous.

Not really, imo. Failing to be surprised when someone who belongs to a particular group does a stereotypical thing is not quite the same as stereotyping everyone in that group as doing that thing.

I used a play rugby and also have paid for an escort before, but I'm female. Am I a stereotype or not?

*used to play rugby.

Beyond, do you have any hobbies? I wouldn't be surprised if you're into knitting.

Why's that?

So because we have a woman on here who played rugby, paid for a male escort, and has worked in the sex industry, the whole business of trafficked and exploited women and the complex issue of paying for consent suddenly becomes a non issue. Right,

I would be very upset if my DH went to a tap dancing club and think it's definitely like cheating but then again he wouldn't anyway .

Lap

Yes,Bertrand that's EXACTLY what everyone just said.

Well, it certainly seems to be what you're saying.....

Where have I said that?

I would be very upset if my DH went to a tap dancing club

This made me lol

You've minimised the exploitation, suggested that a significant number, if not a majority of "working girls" are doing it because they enjoy it, and suggested that women buy consent in the same way that men do. You use of the expression "inconvenient truth" underlines this.

As if all the happy hookers are somehow being hidden away.......

Nowhere have I minimised the exploitation, I said that exploitation happened, and that there were 'some' workers who did it because they enjoyed it. I have never said we were in the majority. You are reading what you want.

So what was the purpose of your posts, then?