To think I can't punish myself

[fuckmyfuckinglife]

Forever? Basically me and h were friends before a couple. In that time he saw me behave quite badly. I was young, stupid. I drank excessively took drugs and was very sexually promiscuous. I admit I was a slut.
10 years later though I'm still being punished for it. He's used me being a slut as a reason to be unfaithful. Which I accepted.
But now he's basically saying I should be ashamed and disgusted in myself forever. I should be making every effort to 'prove' I am not that person. Prove being no social life, no social media, no male friends. Nothing.
I'm not proud of my behaviour and I definitely don't think it was okay but I can't change my past. He married me 😔

[pavlova71]

Jesus H.
That is pathological behaviour and is all about him.
You do not need to tolerate ANYONE in your life who speaks to you that way. That is not the behaviour of someone who even likes you.
Leave leave leave.

[twittertwit]

Why are you tolerating this? It is not acceptable. He won't change. LTB

[fuckmyfuckinglife]

I know. I wish I could just pack up a van and leave. I don't drive. We moved away from my family and support network (for valid reasons regarding DSC and EA ex wife) however he seems to have taken that as I'm leaving my whole life behind

[DavetheCat2001]

Why are you with this person?

He sounds like a right cunt.

[fuckmyfuckinglife]

Tbh I can't even get to the train station with our stuff immediately 🙄
I'll be okay for a few days just need to put my plans into place and fuck off at the first opportunity

[twittertwit]

Do you have a friend who can drive you? Seriously, this won't get better. Start planning your exit today

[FlaviaAlbia]

But you probably wouldn't feel as bad about it without him going on about it. He's purposely chipping away at your self esteem so you'll feel grateful to him for 'putting up' with you.

[DearMrDilkington]

There is no such thing as a "slut", there is also no shame or issue with a woman consenting to sex with someone. As long as everyone consents it's no issue and not even something worth mentioning.

Leave this arsewipe and never look back.

[fuckmyfuckinglife]

Basically if I was 'sorry' for my past I wouldn't want a social life, social media, male friends. Apparently I flirt with work colleagues just by talking to them. Jesus fuckin wept I sound ridiculous don't I. He's an absolute cunt and I hate him

[MadMags]

1. Stop calling yourself a slut. There's no such thing.
   

1. He's an absolute low-life scumbag.
   

1. You must leave this abusive bastard before he well and truly fucks up the lives of your children as well as yours.

[fuckmyfuckinglife]

My best friend would be here like a shot but she's abroad. I'm gonna ring her last day of her holiday I think and arrange for her to hire a van

[AmyGardner]

I met my now-DH when I was 16, we were just friends. He's known (and taken the piss out of me for) everyone I've ever slept with, the randoms, the hotties, the pregnancy scares, the getting pissed and waking up somewhere strange, everything.

He watched all that, and he's still my best pal, and he still fell in love with me, and he's still in love with me today.

You owe this prick absolutely nothing. You are letting him dictate how you feel about yourself, and to me it sounds like you were no better or worse than the rest of us as we grew up.

Fuck him. Get the hell away from him before it gets worse.

[daisychainagain]

Christ alive, he sounds like a controlling abusive twat.
My past is quite similar to yours but I'm nothing like that now. It's in the past and so what if you did shag lots of people while single. It's not a crime.
He needs kicking out. He's a fucking disgrace.
Hope you're ok op. I think you know what you have to do. You'll be better off without him.

[MermaidsTears]

He is a piece of shit who NEVER should have married you

[fuckmyfuckinglife]

He says he has nightmares about seeing me go off with these men (he did see some of it, however I told him stuff when we were friends I didnt think to hide stuff from him)

[StormTreader]

"He says I should be attempting every day for the rest of my life to prove I am not a slut any more and to make it up to him"

"I'm not the one who cheated on their marriage."

[DearMrDilkington]

Please completely forget all of the BS this man has said to you about your past, it's all crap. Get out as soon as you can and try to put all of this behind you and never feel shameful again about something as normal as having a past.

[fuckmyfuckinglife]

I've said that storm
Men and women are unequal tho

[FlaviaAlbia]

Get your stuff in order now and put it somewhere safe. Try to get copies of any financial stuff when he's not there.

Woman's aid would be able to talk you though how to leave safely. And it would be good to have a record of his abuse since emotional abuse is illegal now and he may try to cause trouble once you've left.

[FittonTower]

What the fuck? He sounds like a prick who is using your past (which sounds pretty normal to me) to keep you in line and make you accept whatever bad behavior he wants to throw at you.

[fuckmyfuckinglife]

He has a violent record anyway

[LittleBooInABox]

LTB!

You weren't a slut. You explored yourself sexually. There is no shame in that. The only person who can condemn your actions are you. You shouldn't have to punish yourself or be punished forever.

He is an abusive arsehole. I'm sorry, but the problem here is him not you. Call women's aid. Look up something called the freedom programme.

Good luck op.

[fuckmyfuckinglife]

I'm a fucking idiot aren't I 😂 I should have kicked his arse to the kerb a long time ago

[memyselfandaye]

What an absolute pig.

He's a horrible inadequate excuse for a man and he knows it, thats why he's trying to break you, to make himself feel good

Fuck that, you deserve more and he deserves to live a lonley life until he learns to be a civilised decent person.

[DearMrDilkington]

fuck in a normal relationship they aren't, they are both equal. A normal man wouldn't treat you like this or even care about your past.