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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding

855 replies

user1498221998 · 27/06/2017 17:59

My friend and I were both 16 stone this time 2 years ago. We both went on a diet and two years ,later I am now 10 stone and a size 10. She is still 16 stone and a size 18.

It's her wedding next Saturday and I showed my intended outfit to my Mum who said that while it looked beautiful I should wear something plainer and less figure hugging as almost everyone there hasn't seen me for over a year, doesn't know about my weight loss and I will attract too much attention away from the bride with my huge weight loss.

Do you think my Mum is right?

My friend will look beautiful anyway, so I don't see why I should have to deliberately look plain for her wedding!

My mum says it's 'rubbing it in' because she desperately wanted to be slim for her wedding. But that is not my fault.

OP posts:
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15
TaggieRR · 27/06/2017 18:01

I do think it might be rubbing it in a little, sorry!

missanony · 27/06/2017 18:01

Never upstage the bride

Auspiciouspanda · 27/06/2017 18:02

She's not really your mate if you care more about showing off your weight loss then upstaging her.

SaucyJack · 27/06/2017 18:02

Depends if it's appropriate wedding guest attire, or not. It's never classy to dress like you're going out clubbing.

Put a pic up of the dress so we can all point and judge.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 27/06/2017 18:03

All day or evening do?

Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 27/06/2017 18:03

Yeah that's rubbing it in.

JeReviens · 27/06/2017 18:03

Never upstage the bride

This is 100% spot on and the best advice you will receive from any source on this dilemma of yours.

Bluntness100 · 27/06/2017 18:03

Yeah, I think I'd maybe show it off a lot less. Your weight loss will still be noticeable, but you don't need to scream it. Sorry op. Go for something elegant instead.

Trb17 · 27/06/2017 18:03

Yeah if she's your friend, put yourself in her shoes and dial it back a little. You don't have to go plain, just not sex goddess unveiling.

eddiethehorse · 27/06/2017 18:03

Wear something gorgeous but not figure hugging. Let your friend (bride) have her moment. Wear something that shows skinny arms and legs but more of an A line.

KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth · 27/06/2017 18:04

Figure hugging isn't appropriate for a wedding unless it's a Hugh Hefner, soap star or footballer wedding.

gunsandbanjos · 27/06/2017 18:04

You don't need to look 'plain' as you put it. But this is her day, not yours and whilst your weight loss will still I'm sure be noticed, dont turn it in to your day.

Original poster
user1498221998 · 27/06/2017 18:04

I wasn't planning on upstaging her. She will look beautiful in her wedding dress. It's quite offensive I think of my Mum to suggest my dress will 'upstage' her.

It's quite a simple dress that I will be wearing and she will be wearing a wedding dress. No comparison.

OP posts:
AufderAutobahn · 27/06/2017 18:04

I'd be rather upset if I was the bride... Sorry! Save the stunning dress for another time!

HarrietKettleWasHere · 27/06/2017 18:04

It does feel a little bit like you view it as a platform to showcase your weight loss, sorry.

Although obviously people will notice anyway.

salsah · 27/06/2017 18:05

The wedding is not about you so wear the dress if it's suitable for a wedding and not white or black - it's not like you're the bridesmaid, you want to look good and you won't upstage her as she's the bride. Do make yourself feel lesser to make someone else potentially feel good!

ScarletForYa · 27/06/2017 18:05

Well done OP. But this is not the occasion to showcase your weight loss. Let your friend gave her day in the sun.

Dress nicely but don't be a showstopper.

MsMarvel · 27/06/2017 18:06

We need to see the dress to properly judge

DartmoorDoughnut · 27/06/2017 18:06

Look you obvs want to wear it but if you genuinely want advice figure hugging is never ok for a wedding. It's a wedding not a club.

BertrandRussell · 27/06/2017 18:06

Your mum's fight. And a very nice person.

Osolea · 27/06/2017 18:06

You shouldn't upstage the bride, but you're not obliged to make yourself look crap either. I'd have thought that such a big weight loss will be hard to hide whatever you wear. Well done for achieving it!

Original poster
user1498221998 · 27/06/2017 18:06

It's elegant and especially for a wedding!

I won't put it on here as everyone will decide it's vile just to be horrid.

It's just figure hugging too. It's upto knee length, no cleavage

OP posts:
ToastyFingers · 27/06/2017 18:06

She'll be aware of your weight-loss no matter what you wear, so as long as its wedding appropriate, I'd go ahead.

I'd probably deflect questions about it though, it wouldn't be nice to spend the duration of her wedding talking about your new figure, and by association, the weight she wasn't able to lose.

PatMullins · 27/06/2017 18:06

Show us the dress

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 27/06/2017 18:07

You've lost six stone. Your weight loss will be obvious to everyone. You don't need to wear something skin tight to show that.

It's her day. Let her be the centre of attention.

Wear something elegant but not figure hugging and I'm sure you'll both look amazing